Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 18 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
27 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
If Alan Griffin has ideas of forcing Ali to take him back, he would do well to get rid of those ideas. I am certain that nothing would give Cordero more pleasure than to render a severe beat down on this not very nice guy who had the nerve to mistreat his future Boo.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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If Alan Griffin has ideas of forcing Ali to take him back, he would do well to get rid of those ideas. I am certain that nothing would give Cordero more pleasure than to render a severe beat down on this not very nice guy who had the nerve to mistreat his future Boo.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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We will see Alan again, quite a few more times. Thank you for the kind review.
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I look forward to the outworking of your plans for these intriguing characters.
Comment from lancellot
A very good chapter.
Brent called their car service and then reported, "It seems Griffin's still hanging around. Ali, I don't think you'd better go to your apartment alone.
- Not trying to butt in, but Ali's rich. Griffin shouldn't be a problem. Plus, you've establish her as being a strong, tough, intelligent, courageous, and independent virgin woman. (this Griffin stuff contradicts. I know why he's there and what he represents to the author, but story-wise... it doesn't add up.)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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A very good chapter.
Brent called their car service and then reported, "It seems Griffin's still hanging around. Ali, I don't think you'd better go to your apartment alone.
- Not trying to butt in, but Ali's rich. Griffin shouldn't be a problem. Plus, you've establish her as being a strong, tough, intelligent, courageous, and independent virgin woman. (this Griffin stuff contradicts. I know why he's there and what he represents to the author, but story-wise... it doesn't add up.)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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I will consider these suggestions. One thing to consider, Alan abused Ali. Abused women struggle with self-confidence. So Alan really struggled standing up against Alan. I do listen to your suggestions.
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In that case. May I suggest a flashback chapter or two. The readers should see this abuse, how it happened, how it could happen to her, who Ali 'used to be'. This would do two things:
1) it would showcase her growth and development into the powerful woman we see today. And why she crusades for abused women.
2) It would also show us Alan and perhaps add depth to one of your male antagonist. So, readers would see they aren't just bad because they are men. There are reasons.
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In a few chapters, we will be able to see first-hand how horrible Alan is. He comes to Texas to force Ali back. She starts to come clean with all that happened. Does that count?
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Coming clean, means Ali telling us.
If it works for you.
But until then, the reader doesn't understand. Ali's family is rich. Not having guards or someone simply break Griffin's knees is a question, without an answer. Ali is a lawyer and fighter (she walked into a rape concluding without hesitation.) No restraining order. No police.
Griffin is an abuser and wants Ali. We don't know why? They've never even been intimate. Why her? How her? Why was he even able to enter the party?
Ali is rich with nice friends and family. That should not have happened.
There are 8 million people in NYC. Griffin can abuse hundreds of women with ease. Women who do things a man wants. Women without resources and wealth.
Until that is 'reasonably' shown, it will seem like an Author insert.
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We will also find out why Alan wants Ali. Because of the type of party nobody expected party crashers, why??? Not all rich people have guards. Only celebrities. They just have money and being corporate lawyers, they don't need to worry about riff raff.
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Ali expected Griffin. But... it is your story.
Have a great weekend.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was great! But, I'm guessing there is going to be trouble when they are in Ali's room, not from Cord, but from her ex. I'm glad Cord is staying, and I know he'll be the perfect gentleman. That's more than I can say about the other slimeball. This was a wonderful chapter, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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That was great! But, I'm guessing there is going to be trouble when they are in Ali's room, not from Cord, but from her ex. I'm glad Cord is staying, and I know he'll be the perfect gentleman. That's more than I can say about the other slimeball. This was a wonderful chapter, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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We will see Alan again. Thank you for the kind review.Alan
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I enjoyed this half chapter very much. I particularly liked the fact that you had them explain why Cord hadn't been invited to New york earlier, and the way you set things up rady for a forthcoming conflict. Neat.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed this half chapter very much. I particularly liked the fact that you had them explain why Cord hadn't been invited to New york earlier, and the way you set things up rady for a forthcoming conflict. Neat.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Alan will be seen again. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BermyBye50
Barbara,
This is a excellent chapter in the book Quiet Lawyer. Your story about rediscovering love after one's heart has been broken. is well-written and your imagination and creativity shines thru in this amazing chapter. Each paragraph is engaging and captures the attention of the reader. Your strategic use of dialogue enhances the tension woven throughout this brilliant story. Well-done.
All the best,
Eugene
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Barbara,
This is a excellent chapter in the book Quiet Lawyer. Your story about rediscovering love after one's heart has been broken. is well-written and your imagination and creativity shines thru in this amazing chapter. Each paragraph is engaging and captures the attention of the reader. Your strategic use of dialogue enhances the tension woven throughout this brilliant story. Well-done.
All the best,
Eugene
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this encouraging review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I enjoyed reading this chapter, Barbara. I like that Ali showed Cord the sights of New York from the top of the building, giving him another view of it. It will be interesting to see how the night goes, if Griffen will make an appearance; if temptation enters as well. :)
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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, Barbara. I like that Ali showed Cord the sights of New York from the top of the building, giving him another view of it. It will be interesting to see how the night goes, if Griffen will make an appearance; if temptation enters as well. :)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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I can promise Alan will be seen again. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're most welcome, Barbara.
Comment from BethShelby
I was hoping to find out what would happen when Alan and Cord met again but I guess you left us with a cliffhanger so I'll be looking forward to more when you post again. This was a good chapter. Cord find some things in New York spectacular but he a Texan and the two don't mix well.
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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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I was hoping to find out what would happen when Alan and Cord met again but I guess you left us with a cliffhanger so I'll be looking forward to more when you post again. This was a good chapter. Cord find some things in New York spectacular but he a Texan and the two don't mix well.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2022
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Alan will return I promise. LOL Thank you for the kind review.