Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 27 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
35 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Looks like the walls are closing in on two of the most despicable men in America, Pat Rogers and Alan Griffin. I just know that their days of reckoning will soon be here. Their biggest mistake, messing with Cordero's girl.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
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Looks like the walls are closing in on two of the most despicable men in America, Pat Rogers and Alan Griffin. I just know that their days of reckoning will soon be here. Their biggest mistake, messing with Cordero's girl.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. I think Ali took care of these two herself. LOL
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So true. I love it.
Comment from lancellot
Well, I can't say Ali finding more evidence, photos, possible DNA, Cord being out of town with evidence, Amy's parents allowing her in to help after ten years of nothing, on top of the DNA already is a surprise at this point. The suspense is building. Will Ali win the case? Will Roger face justice? will Roger remain silent? Will his lawyer even speak? I think the readers know the answer to those. Is that what you want?
Okay, it's your choice but... after her ex-boyfriend committed arson, assault, was caught on video (that we didn't know existed) immediately arrested, went to trial and was sentenced to prison (in one day) all in "four days". All realism has gone out the window. If you're fine with all that. Ok.
Structurally, your writing is good, but it's in the story context that it needs examining, if you want to.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
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Well, I can't say Ali finding more evidence, photos, possible DNA, Cord being out of town with evidence, Amy's parents allowing her in to help after ten years of nothing, on top of the DNA already is a surprise at this point. The suspense is building. Will Ali win the case? Will Roger face justice? will Roger remain silent? Will his lawyer even speak? I think the readers know the answer to those. Is that what you want?
Okay, it's your choice but... after her ex-boyfriend committed arson, assault, was caught on video (that we didn't know existed) immediately arrested, went to trial and was sentenced to prison (in one day) all in "four days". All realism has gone out the window. If you're fine with all that. Ok.
Structurally, your writing is good, but it's in the story context that it needs examining, if you want to.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2023
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(that we didn't know existed) We did know it existed, because Jorge made sure security cameras were installed. It's in the story. Thank you for the kind review.
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May bad, I mean we, as in, Alan. He defended himself (for some crazy reason) He has constitutional discovery rights as the defense. He cannot go to trial with seeing the evidence against him first, including videos. Brent cannot approach the Bench without Alan. While we're at it. Brent isn't a prosecutor for that county. He shouldn't even be there speaking or sitting with Ali, Where is the prosecutor, where was the arraignment, the bond hearing, the pre-trail hearing, and so on. None of that is real. None.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Another great chapter, and congratulations on your paperback book publication. This is a very revealing chapter, and I'm sure that Matthew isn't Cord's son. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Another great chapter, and congratulations on your paperback book publication. This is a very revealing chapter, and I'm sure that Matthew isn't Cord's son. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray for the new evidence! Hopefully, the court results will also help Amy reconnect with her parents, especially her father who seems to have blamed her for everything. How sad!
Great sleuthing on Ali's part!
Suggestions:
"Either would I." (Neither) unless this is normal in New York speech.
"Yes, her mom took Polaroid's (Polaroids) for the plural not possessive
"Roger's signed it, (Rogers)
Mr. Harding waved at his wife. (I wish to know what kind of "wave" it was. Was it more like throwing a ball? I envision something more dismissive than a wave)
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Hooray for the new evidence! Hopefully, the court results will also help Amy reconnect with her parents, especially her father who seems to have blamed her for everything. How sad!
Great sleuthing on Ali's part!
Suggestions:
"Either would I." (Neither) unless this is normal in New York speech.
"Yes, her mom took Polaroid's (Polaroids) for the plural not possessive
"Roger's signed it, (Rogers)
Mr. Harding waved at his wife. (I wish to know what kind of "wave" it was. Was it more like throwing a ball? I envision something more dismissive than a wave)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the suggestions. I have made the corrections. I appreciate the help.
Comment from amahra
The story is moving right along nicely. I can't wait for the formal proposal and the giddiness of a wedding day. There's a lot of cheek-kissing going on. Can't wait for them to get a room. LOL! Kidding!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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The story is moving right along nicely. I can't wait for the formal proposal and the giddiness of a wedding day. There's a lot of cheek-kissing going on. Can't wait for them to get a room. LOL! Kidding!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. It's almost over.
Comment from Jim Wile
Another enjoyable chapter as Ali closes in on Rogers with all that proof. Seems like Cord will definitely be in the clear, and Rogers will get charged. You're building the suspense nicely.
I always love the dialog between Ali and Cord.
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handed it (to) her
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Another enjoyable chapter as Ali closes in on Rogers with all that proof. Seems like Cord will definitely be in the clear, and Rogers will get charged. You're building the suspense nicely.
I always love the dialog between Ali and Cord.
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handed it (to) her
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review and the catch. I appreciate the help.
Comment from estory
The quiet lawyer continues to gather evidence against Rogers, one piece at a time. And little by little, step by step, Cord and Ali continue to head for the altar. He seems like a dream of hers, come true. The defferential, caring, true blue, ready to do anything for her type. It is a bit too idealized for me; real life is more complicated than this. There are no blacks and whites in it, no easy answers and perfect situations. But you are the master of this romantic, mystery form. The dialogue is always crisp, there's always wit and humor and personality in it, the characters are well defined, the theme is clear and concise, there's drama and melodrama and action and suspense. Pretty well orchestrated on your part, with plenty of polish on it. estory
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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The quiet lawyer continues to gather evidence against Rogers, one piece at a time. And little by little, step by step, Cord and Ali continue to head for the altar. He seems like a dream of hers, come true. The defferential, caring, true blue, ready to do anything for her type. It is a bit too idealized for me; real life is more complicated than this. There are no blacks and whites in it, no easy answers and perfect situations. But you are the master of this romantic, mystery form. The dialogue is always crisp, there's always wit and humor and personality in it, the characters are well defined, the theme is clear and concise, there's drama and melodrama and action and suspense. Pretty well orchestrated on your part, with plenty of polish on it. estory
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the kind review and understanding.
Comment from Sankey
Sorry, the SIXES have run out. Take this as a definite Virtual SIX! Great reading as usual. Very detailed and glad Ali is being looked after from those baddies. JUst a couple of spags today. Thanks again. "I've got (to) try."
I want to spen[t](d) time with you."
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Sorry, the SIXES have run out. Take this as a definite Virtual SIX! Great reading as usual. Very detailed and glad Ali is being looked after from those baddies. JUst a couple of spags today. Thanks again. "I've got (to) try."
I want to spen[t](d) time with you."
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Hugs for the virtual six. I appreciate the catches. I need all the help I can get. LOL
Comment from royowen
It seems that Alexandra has now got proof positive that Cordero couldn't possibly be the father of Amy's child, he was 10 miles away at a rodeo with Jim. This is a beautifully written post Barbara, well done. Blessings Roy
Typo, I've got (to) try. 2: I wonder who he took to (the) prom. 3: I was hoping you'd taken her (to) the prom 4 : I want to (spent) time with you. Spend?
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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It seems that Alexandra has now got proof positive that Cordero couldn't possibly be the father of Amy's child, he was 10 miles away at a rodeo with Jim. This is a beautifully written post Barbara, well done. Blessings Roy
Typo, I've got (to) try. 2: I wonder who he took to (the) prom. 3: I was hoping you'd taken her (to) the prom 4 : I want to (spent) time with you. Spend?
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Those little words. When I edit, I read it as if they're there. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
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Well done
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Busted! I hope he gets raped in prison. Stunning scene!
typo: Polaroid's=>Polaroids
After Cordero parked in front of the Harding residence, Alexandra studied the house before she exhaled. "They may not be willing to help." She took another breath. "I've got try."
missing word: I've got [to] try.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Busted! I hope he gets raped in prison. Stunning scene!
typo: Polaroid's=>Polaroids
After Cordero parked in front of the Harding residence, Alexandra studied the house before she exhaled. "They may not be willing to help." She took another breath. "I've got try."
missing word: I've got [to] try.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the catches. I appreciate the help.