Reviews from

Guided by Faith

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Faith Chapter 12"
Can faith guide our path?

33 total reviews 
Comment from JT traveller
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That is another fantastic write. Building tension by introducing some jealousy. The conversations bring the characters to life--an interesting wholesome story. Jacqueline

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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It's always easy to dive in to your stories even without reading previous chapters because your writing style is easy to read and flows with great dialog-driven pacing. Your characters sounds nice.

I noted a few spag suggestions:

*from previous:
Lifting up a moon(-)shaped night-light,

* and apricot Danish ready(,) and she delivered them to their table.

*"It's for Emma. I know she loves fruit(,) and it's expensive. She's so nice(,) I thought I'd help a little."

*Seth's eyes met hers(,) and he nodded.

*At the end of the story, Emma and the children discussed (how) even though they all look differently they're all special, just like Elmer.

*Chuckling(,) Carl said, "I don't believe that any more than Jake does.

*But in a few months(,) there'll be eight years between us.

Sorry I can't keep up more often--less active here than usual.

Blessings,
rd


 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Commas are a downfall for me. I tend to fall into the when in doubt leave them out category. LOL Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
reply by rama devi on 19-Jun-2023
    :-))) Most welcome, dear.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I'm wondering what's wrong with Emma's birth mother. I can see your teaching of children is influencing your writing, and why shouldn't it, you've been doing it for awhile.another great episode Barbara, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 19-Jun-2023
    Most welcome
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It is a bit long, but I suppose you felt it needed it. I can see your years of teaching unfolding in this write. You know much about children reading classes. Good one, Barb.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review. I thought about breaking it up then the only real place to do it would've given me a long one and then a really short one.
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara, I am so happy to see I have six stars to give you for this great chapter. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I love the video you used too! That is really cute! love and blessings, Teri

I forgot to tell you I love Elmer!!!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this was another great chapter to the story. Seth can't see it yet, but of course he's smitten sister or no sister.
I'm loved that Cupid sand New York is New York, all right. Can't wait to go back. Ulla xx

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That police officer in the video had some good moves! Although Peggy is motivated by her jealousy of Emma, I've got to agree with her that the sidewalk isn't a good place for this activity. It's great that Emma wants to encourage the children to readl but she could have found a better place. Seth also mentions the safety concerns, that officers may have to leave the spot to cover more serious matters, possibly criminal activity. Emma's young and didn't think the project through very clearly. True, the library should have offered a summer reading program. Most cities do. I was wondering, is Peggy, and assistant librarian, the boss of the librarian? Peggy is the one making most of the fuss. Oh, I'm eager to learn what's so terrible about Emma's birth mother. I hope they find out who's been stalking Emma. I'm beginning to wonder if it has something to do with her birth mother. It looks like Ace may be a matchmaker. What a dog! I understand Seth's concerns about the age difference between him and Emma. judi

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the wonderful encouragment.
reply by judiverse on 18-Jun-2023
    You're very welcome. I can't help commenting on the behavior of the characters. That must mean you're doing a great job of describing them and their behavior. judi
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
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This is a really good chapter, Barb. I'm sure that everybody is anxious to see Seth and Emma get together. Don't drag this out too long. What's going to happen to Peggy?

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    It's not as long as it seems, but I only post once a week so it seems forever. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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This is another excellent chapter. I was so interested in reading that I was disappointed when the chapter ended. The romantic plot thickens, not one love triangle but two. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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It is a shame that we can't just blink someone stupid, petty and jealous into another dimension. Peggy Barton will do all that she can to try and get someone who is clearly not meant for her, does not want her, and who will never be hers.

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2023
    Peggy just refuses to get the message. I can't wait to see how Seth solves this problem. Thank you for sharing.