Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Chapter 28 B"Can faith guide our path?
43 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this chapter. I didn't see much to improve on.
There were only two or three little things I would suggest:
"I care about you too."
I would put a comma after you.
"Against his chest. His head rested on mine. Our eyes met, the dancing stopped, he said, 'goodbye,' and walked out. He left Ace and his pickup. Why?."
I would take the period out after the question mark following Why at the end. And I would take the comma out after 'goodbye' because 'he' has two verbs to himself.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
  |
I liked reading this chapter. I didn't see much to improve on.
There were only two or three little things I would suggest:
"I care about you too."
I would put a comma after you.
"Against his chest. His head rested on mine. Our eyes met, the dancing stopped, he said, 'goodbye,' and walked out. He left Ace and his pickup. Why?."
I would take the period out after the question mark following Why at the end. And I would take the comma out after 'goodbye' because 'he' has two verbs to himself.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review and I help. I appreciated it.
Comment from tfawcus
You used the Scrabble game and music guessing game to great effect in showing the easy banter of their relationship. Beautifully done.
Great emotional impact at the end of their evening together. Having an understanding and uncannily clairvoyant mum is a great asset at times like that! LOL
Just a couple of small points:
You've lost a space between these two lines of dialogue:
"Dinner's ready. I hope you're hungry."
"I am."
I'm not familiar with Air-Fryer as a brand name. In Australia, we'd use lower case and drop the hyphen.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
 |
You used the Scrabble game and music guessing game to great effect in showing the easy banter of their relationship. Beautifully done.
Great emotional impact at the end of their evening together. Having an understanding and uncannily clairvoyant mum is a great asset at times like that! LOL
Just a couple of small points:
You've lost a space between these two lines of dialogue:
"Dinner's ready. I hope you're hungry."
"I am."
I'm not familiar with Air-Fryer as a brand name. In Australia, we'd use lower case and drop the hyphen.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
I added the space and for air fryer, I googled it and only a couple had the hyphen, so I omitted, and half used capital letters, so I changed to lower case. Thank you for the help. I do appreciate it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A great swing for the new year, Barbara. I know it's not your first, but it was packed full of emotion. Seth got a little too close to Emma, but backs off when he realizes things are getting a little too hot.
Mom gets to step in and give some insight. A cool element to the story.
Good thing Seth called back to make Emma feel better. She's not as clueless as they think since she had some deep feelings, too.
Great chapter,
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
A great swing for the new year, Barbara. I know it's not your first, but it was packed full of emotion. Seth got a little too close to Emma, but backs off when he realizes things are getting a little too hot.
Mom gets to step in and give some insight. A cool element to the story.
Good thing Seth called back to make Emma feel better. She's not as clueless as they think since she had some deep feelings, too.
Great chapter,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review. I was hoping the emotion came through.
-
Yes, definitely emotions are a big part of this chapter, which helps us get into their characters.
Comment from lancellot
Well, this is well written. I didn't see anything structurally wrong, but it ended as I expected and I'm sure your readers expected it to end. No need to dread. I know how you feel about things. Like I always say. This is your world.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
Well, this is well written. I didn't see anything structurally wrong, but it ended as I expected and I'm sure your readers expected it to end. No need to dread. I know how you feel about things. Like I always say. This is your world.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
It is my world. Thank you for realizing that. I knew you wouldn't like it when I did it.
-
Never said I didn't like it. I understand your POV. It's different than my own but I do enjoy talented writers, and you are one.
-
Thank you.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Barbara,
perhaps because of the age difference, Seth is more aware of the dangers of being alone with someone he cares for, and is mature enough to know when to say when. I was a little surprised he didn't say something before leaving so she wouldn't get alarmed though. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
Hello Barbara,
perhaps because of the age difference, Seth is more aware of the dangers of being alone with someone he cares for, and is mature enough to know when to say when. I was a little surprised he didn't say something before leaving so she wouldn't get alarmed though. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Seth is stingy with his words. He had to regroup and he does. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
You got quite an interesting story that I think you've put a lot of thought into some research and and background I would imagine as well Emma and Seth are very vibrant characters I must say and you make everything believable in the content and the way that you write. An amazing job I see no issues with grammar aesthetic sentence structure or subject matter punctuation is good too as far as I can tell and you are the master I must say I wish you a great evening and best of luck and hope all is well!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
You got quite an interesting story that I think you've put a lot of thought into some research and and background I would imagine as well Emma and Seth are very vibrant characters I must say and you make everything believable in the content and the way that you write. An amazing job I see no issues with grammar aesthetic sentence structure or subject matter punctuation is good too as far as I can tell and you are the master I must say I wish you a great evening and best of luck and hope all is well!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Wendy G
He was wise to leave erly, but perhaps a word of explanation might have helped, as they need to be open and honest with each other. Seems like they will be like my daughter - her first kiss with her husband was at their wedding. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
He was wise to leave erly, but perhaps a word of explanation might have helped, as they need to be open and honest with each other. Seems like they will be like my daughter - her first kiss with her husband was at their wedding. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for the understanding. They do discuss it next Sunday.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Although the progress has been slow between Seth and Emma, Seth has shown himself to be the perfect gentleman without pushing himself too much. An excellent post Barbara, a joy to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
Although the progress has been slow between Seth and Emma, Seth has shown himself to be the perfect gentleman without pushing himself too much. An excellent post Barbara, a joy to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was very sweet, Barbara. Seth is so conscious of Emma and her feelings that he doesn't want to do anything that might jeopardize their relationship. Seems like he's going to have to propose to her before he considers kissing her.
I realize it's only been 29 days since they met, but this has to be the slowest developing romance I've ever seen. Not that I'm objecting. It's actually nice to see people not rushing to get in the sack together as is so often the case in modern movies and TV (and books). This is rather refreshing to see the depth of feeling and concern for each other that these two show. It's bound to stand them in better stead in the long-run. - Jim
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
|
This was very sweet, Barbara. Seth is so conscious of Emma and her feelings that he doesn't want to do anything that might jeopardize their relationship. Seems like he's going to have to propose to her before he considers kissing her.
I realize it's only been 29 days since they met, but this has to be the slowest developing romance I've ever seen. Not that I'm objecting. It's actually nice to see people not rushing to get in the sack together as is so often the case in modern movies and TV (and books). This is rather refreshing to see the depth of feeling and concern for each other that these two show. It's bound to stand them in better stead in the long-run. - Jim
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
-
They will need that deep relationship soon. Emma's world turns upside down. The first kiss will come at the most unexpected time. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
A man who only cares about his own pleasure would have taken advantage of the situation and likely ruined the future of the budding relationship. Seth showed admirable restraint and wisdom in leaving before things got out of hand.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2024
|
A man who only cares about his own pleasure would have taken advantage of the situation and likely ruined the future of the budding relationship. Seth showed admirable restraint and wisdom in leaving before things got out of hand.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2024
-
Thank you for understanding. I am dreading one of my reviewers review. I know exactly what it's going to say. I'm grateful for you. HUGS!!
-
Please do not allow yourself to be bullied by someone looking to affect your writing by their possibly unfair criticism.