The Poets Menagerie
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Cara"A collection of poems
32 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a horribly sad story of people who had no concern for a young child's life. Your poetic story includes lots of detail and imagery, and is well written. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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This is a horribly sad story of people who had no concern for a young child's life. Your poetic story includes lots of detail and imagery, and is well written. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thanks so much.I really appreciate your kind commenting for stopping in for a read. I'm glad you liked it true story.I was the woman who tried to help her. Unfortunately she died right there. I did speak to her mother, though, because her estranged husband would tell her nothing other than those.The last thing she said was daddy, it hurts. Just kills me when I think about that. But thank you got off topic a little bit there.I hope you're having a great night and your family as well!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't say I enjoyed reading this contest entry because of the subject matter, but that being said, it's an excellent contest entry. You told a story in poetic form and did a great job writing. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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I can't say I enjoyed reading this contest entry because of the subject matter, but that being said, it's an excellent contest entry. You told a story in poetic form and did a great job writing. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you Barbara appreciate that! No, it's not great subject matter. That's true. However, it is a true story and I was a lady who tried to help her. Unfortunately, she died there on the pavement.I just didn't want to believe it. Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your comments and your time to when you find rating. I hope you and yours are doing well.Have a great night!
Comment from Begin Again
What a sad and moving poem. How does one put their lies before the life of a child? Reminds me a little of my grandson's death. He was swimming across a contractor's manmade pond filled with silt, debris, and everything else. We think he got tired and tried to push off the bottom, but it sucked him into the muck like quicksand. The other teenagers said they arrived when they heard him yell (friends he always hung out with). The only thing is there were shoes on both sides of the pond, wet clothing on some, and everyone looked nervous. Someone was also in that pond...I'm guessing it's a competition between two 17-year-old boys, but I can't prove a thing. Accidents happen, and there is no blame, but he was their friend. The truth would have been nice,
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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What a sad and moving poem. How does one put their lies before the life of a child? Reminds me a little of my grandson's death. He was swimming across a contractor's manmade pond filled with silt, debris, and everything else. We think he got tired and tried to push off the bottom, but it sucked him into the muck like quicksand. The other teenagers said they arrived when they heard him yell (friends he always hung out with). The only thing is there were shoes on both sides of the pond, wet clothing on some, and everyone looked nervous. Someone was also in that pond...I'm guessing it's a competition between two 17-year-old boys, but I can't prove a thing. Accidents happen, and there is no blame, but he was their friend. The truth would have been nice,
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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I'm so sorry, Carol, that happened. Really that just breaks my heart. No one can replace it, but know this every time you think of him or you speak his name, he turns to smile at you. Thank you for your kind review, and yes, I can't fathom a lie before the life of a child is just boggles my brain. I was the one who tried to help that overall. Unfortunately, she died there on the pavement. Today's to get that that smell of somebody having died out of my senses. Well, I felt she deserved to spot in the world.You know she's moved on. Thank you again.I hope that you and yours are well and that you're having a great evening!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wow - as if the original tragedy wasn't horrifying enough, they add on another layer. Pathetic life they lead. No happy ending for anyone here.
Well told.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Wow - as if the original tragedy wasn't horrifying enough, they add on another layer. Pathetic life they lead. No happy ending for anyone here.
Well told.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you my friend! I was the lady who tried to help the little girl. Her name is Cara Brown. I met her mother a few months after she passed. She and your husband more estranged, and her husband wouldn't tell her anything. What happened? She begged me to tell her, of course, I did and wouldn't deny that ever. She did say the only thing her husband would tell her was that the last thing her daughter said was daddy, it hurts. There's nothing in this world like the smell of death. It stays with you, it sticks on you like skunk spray, almost. It's hard to get it out of your system. It took days. Thank you, my friend for reading and writing. It's an offering your great rating too! Hope you're doing good and your family's well too!
Comment from patcelaw
I enjoyed your story in a poem, and I wish you the very best in the contest that you have a wonderful day it is amazing the things that we go through in life and the memories that we have about those things. Patricia.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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I enjoyed your story in a poem, and I wish you the very best in the contest that you have a wonderful day it is amazing the things that we go through in life and the memories that we have about those things. Patricia.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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It truly is, sometimes I have to rethink it and go. Did that really happen? Yeah, I did. It's like a tattoo on my mind. Thank you again for coming in and reading and offering your thoughts. Which are always valuable to me! I hope you had a good holiday.And that you and your family are well, thank you again!
Comment from Darlene BoClair
In a little before the year 1989 I feel saddened by the tragedy this poor girl suffered.Each single line written shared what I believed was more of the truth than a lie. You are a good visual writer.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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In a little before the year 1989 I feel saddened by the tragedy this poor girl suffered.Each single line written shared what I believed was more of the truth than a lie. You are a good visual writer.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you Darlene I appreciate that! I'm glad you like it.I stopped in to read and comment and off your fine rating! You're right, it's all truth.I was a woman who tried to help that young girl. It did something to me and wasn't even my own child. About the horrific lie, the father and his friend told was terrible. I felt it was finally time to give her name a voice and the space on this page. Thank you again!
Comment from Sarah Probe S.
You certainly have a gift in making all your verses rhyme perfectly, and your poignant story is really heart breaking,
Many thanks for sharing this with us,
Warm wishes,
Sarah
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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You certainly have a gift in making all your verses rhyme perfectly, and your poignant story is really heart breaking,
Many thanks for sharing this with us,
Warm wishes,
Sarah
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you Sarah! Thanks for stopping in and reading.I appreciate your kind comments too! I'm really glad you liked it.And thank you again and hope that you and yours are well!
Comment from Lana Marie
When they read your one sentence description, it immediately made me sad for her. you did a great job weaving her story into this poem. Tragedies like that definitely are embedded in one's mind. You're very talented.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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When they read your one sentence description, it immediately made me sad for her. you did a great job weaving her story into this poem. Tragedies like that definitely are embedded in one's mind. You're very talented.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Lana, for that fine compliment. I very much appreciate it! I'm glad to see her story comes across.I was the woman who tried to help her on the road that day. I knew she was gone but I didn't want to leave it.I knew by the smell of death that came from her mouth. It is not a cent that goes away anytime soon. I met her mother and we talked, and I told her the events of the day because her husband would not. Thank you for stopping in having read.Offering me your fine raking and you're kind thoughts.I hope you and yours are doing well!
Comment from Nicki.B
What a horrific tragedy that poor young girl. This was excellently put together with great rhyme and flow, although difficult content to read it is just such a sad event.
Its awful that there was no justice served here. I can see why it remains such a shock for you to this day. Very well written good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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What a horrific tragedy that poor young girl. This was excellently put together with great rhyme and flow, although difficult content to read it is just such a sad event.
Its awful that there was no justice served here. I can see why it remains such a shock for you to this day. Very well written good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Nikki. Thank you so much for your kind words and the fact that you have great insight! I also thank you for your time. You're great rating and a mythood find comments to I hope you and yours are doing well!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I don't doubt, Lea, that the memory has resonated strongly with you because it speaks so loudly about the lies in your own childhood and beyond and the way those forces tried (without success in your case) to
crush the life out of you. This is a particularly tragic and despicable incident in which, as you say, her life was less important than truth and its consequences for them. Your punchy, rhyming couplets starkly express the anger and pain you still feel and the speed and unaccountable horror with which this child's life was wiped out. Well done, Lea, and good luck! Debbie
Should that be - (though) the bush track was wild
Also apostrophes missing in title description and Dad(')s
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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I don't doubt, Lea, that the memory has resonated strongly with you because it speaks so loudly about the lies in your own childhood and beyond and the way those forces tried (without success in your case) to
crush the life out of you. This is a particularly tragic and despicable incident in which, as you say, her life was less important than truth and its consequences for them. Your punchy, rhyming couplets starkly express the anger and pain you still feel and the speed and unaccountable horror with which this child's life was wiped out. Well done, Lea, and good luck! Debbie
Should that be - (though) the bush track was wild
Also apostrophes missing in title description and Dad(')s
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much my friend. I hope you are well. I hope you had a great thanksgiving.Big old turkey to make you snooze for hours! That's always you're a reviews are awesome! Made those two corrections thank you very much! I hope you and your family are doing well. I thank you always for your great reviews and your fine rating too. Do you know what all the doe's do on christmas eve? They go to town to blow a few bucks!!! Haha!