Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Cuckoo and the Eldritch Kiss"An extended story in poem form
36 total reviews
Comment from fionageorge
Not only am I enjoying this poem about the adventures of the Wandering Man, I am enjoying the lovely way you have structured this poem and the way you have broken it into parts, which are so easy to read. Great free flowing rhythm and abcb rhyme.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Not only am I enjoying this poem about the adventures of the Wandering Man, I am enjoying the lovely way you have structured this poem and the way you have broken it into parts, which are so easy to read. Great free flowing rhythm and abcb rhyme.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Marijke :-) I'm so happy that you're continuing to enjoy the Wandering Man's adventures! I'm working on part three at the moment.
Mike
Comment from Sasha
I am speechless. This is just amazing. I really don't know what to say other this is absolutely memorizing and fascinating. You have done a superb job with this and you have completely pulled me into this awesome tale. This is beautifully written and I can hardly contain my excitement over reading the next chapter. I wish I had a six you will have to settle for a 5. Very, very good work with this one. I was not disappointed in the least.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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I am speechless. This is just amazing. I really don't know what to say other this is absolutely memorizing and fascinating. You have done a superb job with this and you have completely pulled me into this awesome tale. This is beautifully written and I can hardly contain my excitement over reading the next chapter. I wish I had a six you will have to settle for a 5. Very, very good work with this one. I was not disappointed in the least.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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You are so good at making me feel competent with your fantastic reviews :-). You make me want to write better and better, so I can keep impressing you! Thank you, and I am so glad you are enjoying it :-)
Mike
Comment from Ash Madox
I had to dig a ways to find you again in my reviews to edit, Mike--no wonder I'm so tired, with all the reading I've been doing. I had no idea. Anyway, got sixes again and wanted to upgrade, as I said. Working hard on the next part? Hope so, I'm looking forward to reading it. Cheers. Ash.
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I'm loving the adventures of the Wandering Man in this barren land. I especially enjoy the title and its ominous tone--the cuckoo that steals life from the homes of others and replaces it with its own conitnuance is brilliant personified as death, most notably in this stanza:
That bird-call was a prophecy,
a warning to beware
that Death was out there, stalking me,
and fixed me with his stare.
Every stanza is fantastic, telling such a vivid story, but the best of all is the sixth, portraying the unbeatable love, with the honour of his recognition. I stumbled slightly in the seventh with "determined". It seemed to throw the rhthym slightly and didn't fit as well, but it could be just me. Not in a big way, though, so it didn't spoil it at all.
I'm slayed I don't have the six for this--but never to be defeated, I'm coming back to upgrade the instant I do. Admirable, wonderful writing and poetry. I salute you, Mike. Thanks for the fantastic, engrossing read. Looking forward to the next part. Ash.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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I had to dig a ways to find you again in my reviews to edit, Mike--no wonder I'm so tired, with all the reading I've been doing. I had no idea. Anyway, got sixes again and wanted to upgrade, as I said. Working hard on the next part? Hope so, I'm looking forward to reading it. Cheers. Ash.
***********************************************************
I'm loving the adventures of the Wandering Man in this barren land. I especially enjoy the title and its ominous tone--the cuckoo that steals life from the homes of others and replaces it with its own conitnuance is brilliant personified as death, most notably in this stanza:
That bird-call was a prophecy,
a warning to beware
that Death was out there, stalking me,
and fixed me with his stare.
Every stanza is fantastic, telling such a vivid story, but the best of all is the sixth, portraying the unbeatable love, with the honour of his recognition. I stumbled slightly in the seventh with "determined". It seemed to throw the rhthym slightly and didn't fit as well, but it could be just me. Not in a big way, though, so it didn't spoil it at all.
I'm slayed I don't have the six for this--but never to be defeated, I'm coming back to upgrade the instant I do. Admirable, wonderful writing and poetry. I salute you, Mike. Thanks for the fantastic, engrossing read. Looking forward to the next part. Ash.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Ash. What a fantastic review to greet me this evening :-). I'm so glad you made special mention of part VI, as I was particularly pleased with that one. I've finished the draft of the next post, and normally my posted poetry is what's come spewing straight out of my pen, but I'm taking a little extra care with these. I want to get them right :-)
THanks again,
Mike
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Hi Mike, glad you found value in my critique. Excuse my ignorance on the "determined" comment; not based on anything tech, by any means--your writing simply awes me and could by no means be right or wrong. I'm simply one who goes by "beat" within any write, prose or poetry. All writing, for me, has a living, breathing rhthym within it, and that's always a personal thing, so can't reflect the writing. I think every stanza offered something wonderful and stood alone in its own right, as well as within a whole, but VI was exceptional.
Forgive my ignorance again, but I don't know what Eldritch is? I sense it has to have a special significance and is important to the piece in some way, so I wouldn't mind knowing for fuller understanding.
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Okay, got it. Curiosity made me search the net for it. I'd never heard the term before--basically "otherworld". I knew it had to have special meaning; the everlasting, otherworld kiss of the couple on the bed. Beautiful, and excellent within the title.
Comment from Realist101
GOOD GRIEF! Did someone come from behind to kill him?? This is fascinating Mike, I feel like I was sort of walking with him along this journey...very strange!!! GOOD work too! Susan
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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GOOD GRIEF! Did someone come from behind to kill him?? This is fascinating Mike, I feel like I was sort of walking with him along this journey...very strange!!! GOOD work too! Susan
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Susan :-). You'll find out what's happened next time! I'm so glad you enjoyed this second chapter!
Mike
Comment from bhogg
Surrounded by angst and desolation, wondering man still remembers a better time and with hope is still searching. I loved all of VI. Your poems once again have grabbed me and pulled me in. Very well done.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Surrounded by angst and desolation, wondering man still remembers a better time and with hope is still searching. I loved all of VI. Your poems once again have grabbed me and pulled me in. Very well done.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Bhogg :-). I'm glad you picked out VI, because that's the one I was most pleased with. I'm in the middle of part three at the moment. Really enjoying this adventure!
Mike
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Ah, here you are, Fleedleflump,
such a deliciously curly name.
I really enjoyed this story in
a poem, you've a unique style
of your own, which immediately
fires the reader's imagination
and leaves them wanting to read
more.
That enjoyable!! Bring on the
next. And good luck, Mike.
Margaret
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Ah, here you are, Fleedleflump,
such a deliciously curly name.
I really enjoyed this story in
a poem, you've a unique style
of your own, which immediately
fires the reader's imagination
and leaves them wanting to read
more.
That enjoyable!! Bring on the
next. And good luck, Mike.
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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I do like to think I have a recognisable style, but it's far better to hear somebody else say it! Thank you, Margaret :-). Part Three is underway.
Mike
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Interesting.
I like the title.
Good image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
Good rhymes.
Powerful.
Favorite parts: I like the 1st and last stanzas in part IV,
the last stanza in part V
and 2nd stanza of part VII
Good job.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Interesting.
I like the title.
Good image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
Good rhymes.
Powerful.
Favorite parts: I like the 1st and last stanzas in part IV,
the last stanza in part V
and 2nd stanza of part VII
Good job.
Kathryn
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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I'm glad someone mentioned the title, as I am unashamedly pleased with it! Thank you, Kathryn :-). I'm part way through writing Part Three at the moment. Really enjoying writing this series!
Mike
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Mike, you're welcome.
kathryn
Comment from Judian James
Hey Mike. Yes, I'm enjoying your talent with this book and it's newest chapters. I especially loved the poignancy of VI ... "I wept in honour of their lives,
remembering lovesick breaths" excellent (I must admit, I didn't understand the "womb" line the way it is stated)
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hey Mike. Yes, I'm enjoying your talent with this book and it's newest chapters. I especially loved the poignancy of VI ... "I wept in honour of their lives,
remembering lovesick breaths" excellent (I must admit, I didn't understand the "womb" line the way it is stated)
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Jude :-). I think part 6 is my favourite, yes. The womb thing is a little tenuous. In my head the food has conceived a child of hope within his belly ... You are remarkably good at picking out the bits I was unsure about! I shall have a think on it.
Mike
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that's pretty out-there for me still ...
Comment from adewpearl
Cuckoo called/cold creep/shook the shadows - effective use of alliteration, Mike
What a great scene with those decayed skeletons, locked in their final death-defying kiss
Your quatrains continue to have good cadence and strong abcb rhyming, and this story line has me in its grips. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Cuckoo called/cold creep/shook the shadows - effective use of alliteration, Mike
What a great scene with those decayed skeletons, locked in their final death-defying kiss
Your quatrains continue to have good cadence and strong abcb rhyming, and this story line has me in its grips. Brooke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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That was my favourite element to this chapter; two decayed, defiant lovers, a relic of happier times. It was the last part I wrote; the poem had been in my notebook for several days without it while I procrastinated, sure it wasn't quite right. The bedroom scene made it right :-)
Mike
Comment from chaswriter
Mike - Love these story-in-a-poem posts. You really make him come alive in this adventure. Yes, I am enjoying the continuing adventures. This is awesome.
Charlie
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Mike - Love these story-in-a-poem posts. You really make him come alive in this adventure. Yes, I am enjoying the continuing adventures. This is awesome.
Charlie
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Charlie :-). What an awesome way to finish my day, with a great rating and some hugely encouraging words. I just hope you enjoy the future chapters as much!
Mike