Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh my God, this was so good. Our friend has a big sailboat, and we've taken those yachting excursions on the Long Island Sound. I remember one day when the sea was rough. I wish I wasn't born! (lol)
How exciting, those:
calls to the coastguard, no one to hear; lights in the night sky, as flares drift so clear
radios stop working, time being denied, water is freezing as I push outside
I bet, this drew a lot of adrenalin (smile).
Great rhyming couplets, a fantastic photo of your yacht. Neptune is terrible when he is angry, isn't he? That is a very scary looking ocean.
A very well written poem, I enjoyed it a lot.
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Oh my God, this was so good. Our friend has a big sailboat, and we've taken those yachting excursions on the Long Island Sound. I remember one day when the sea was rough. I wish I wasn't born! (lol)
How exciting, those:
calls to the coastguard, no one to hear; lights in the night sky, as flares drift so clear
radios stop working, time being denied, water is freezing as I push outside
I bet, this drew a lot of adrenalin (smile).
Great rhyming couplets, a fantastic photo of your yacht. Neptune is terrible when he is angry, isn't he? That is a very scary looking ocean.
A very well written poem, I enjoyed it a lot.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is pumped up even higher. Only the flaming piece is worth more. I have to wonder how you managed to collect enough pumps to get not one, but two, this high... wow. THAT is a story I'd love to read, even for two cents. :)
"This sea is a mountain I'll have to fly." Then, in the next line it's screaming. So the wavses are mountains that scream? That's what you call a mixed metaphor. Either stick with the mountainous look or use the monster metaphor instead of the mountain.
warm smiling faces with glows in their eyes << glows in their eyes? I've never heard GLOW used in its plural form of GLOWS, but I wouldn't it here.
I'm not sure if you drowned and went to Heaven or were saved by people.
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This is pumped up even higher. Only the flaming piece is worth more. I have to wonder how you managed to collect enough pumps to get not one, but two, this high... wow. THAT is a story I'd love to read, even for two cents. :)
"This sea is a mountain I'll have to fly." Then, in the next line it's screaming. So the wavses are mountains that scream? That's what you call a mixed metaphor. Either stick with the mountainous look or use the monster metaphor instead of the mountain.
warm smiling faces with glows in their eyes << glows in their eyes? I've never heard GLOW used in its plural form of GLOWS, but I wouldn't it here.
I'm not sure if you drowned and went to Heaven or were saved by people.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from livelylinda
deepwater: ooh! This poem is filled with words describing the storm, the sea and sailing difficulties, enough to really place the reader into the situation. Beautifully written! livelylinda
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deepwater: ooh! This poem is filled with words describing the storm, the sea and sailing difficulties, enough to really place the reader into the situation. Beautifully written! livelylinda
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from freepass
Very good poem I liked it!
And it already has two ribbons!
All mine have ribbons up here too!
So I'm giving you
5 very big Stars*****
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Very good poem I liked it!
And it already has two ribbons!
All mine have ribbons up here too!
So I'm giving you
5 very big Stars*****
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from elchupakabra
This is the third or fourth time I've had to double back to review this piece lol, my wife or sister kept interrupting me the last few days and finally I have the computer and they're asleep. I really enjoyed this piece, I like how you alluded to the sea as a mountain to climb, I thought that was a nice juxtaposition of nature. I also like the flow of the piece, it is reminiscent of another solid writer on site, RGStar. Really great work on this poem, thanks for sharing.
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This is the third or fourth time I've had to double back to review this piece lol, my wife or sister kept interrupting me the last few days and finally I have the computer and they're asleep. I really enjoyed this piece, I like how you alluded to the sea as a mountain to climb, I thought that was a nice juxtaposition of nature. I also like the flow of the piece, it is reminiscent of another solid writer on site, RGStar. Really great work on this poem, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from Smoothiecool
your well chosen words allow the reader to see and feel your fight with the sea a she rages around you and thoughts of all is doomed with loved ones flashing through your thoughts
by the grace of God you arrived home
good enjambment to allow free flow
good visual imagery
story portrayed well
cheers..Smothiecool
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your well chosen words allow the reader to see and feel your fight with the sea a she rages around you and thoughts of all is doomed with loved ones flashing through your thoughts
by the grace of God you arrived home
good enjambment to allow free flow
good visual imagery
story portrayed well
cheers..Smothiecool
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from akulkumol
An emotional and exceptional real life poem about the unpredictability of the oceans and its nature.
Beautiful rich descriptions and suspense. Good flow.
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An emotional and exceptional real life poem about the unpredictability of the oceans and its nature.
Beautiful rich descriptions and suspense. Good flow.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from innerworlds
The photo sets the stage for the feeling of being isolated in an immense ocean. I particularly liked the continuous use of short bursts of phrases (without capitalization to break the flow)which created a feeling of heart-pounding desperation. As the phrases lengthened a bit towards the end,a feeling a calm acceptance replaced the desperation. A sad story told with a seaman's reality and a sense of honor among sailors. Very, very effective! Thank you!
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The photo sets the stage for the feeling of being isolated in an immense ocean. I particularly liked the continuous use of short bursts of phrases (without capitalization to break the flow)which created a feeling of heart-pounding desperation. As the phrases lengthened a bit towards the end,a feeling a calm acceptance replaced the desperation. A sad story told with a seaman's reality and a sense of honor among sailors. Very, very effective! Thank you!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from martha france cannon
really like this poem, so much quite emotion in such a sea of madness. the words are wonderful and I especially like the feelings.
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really like this poem, so much quite emotion in such a sea of madness. the words are wonderful and I especially like the feelings.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014
Comment from WWWJR
Great graphics.
There is a lot of emotion in this short tale. It balances fear with gratitude; not easily nor often done in writing. Maybe break into more and shorter sentences, but that could loose the overall impact (a sense of urgency).
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Great graphics.
There is a lot of emotion in this short tale. It balances fear with gratitude; not easily nor often done in writing. Maybe break into more and shorter sentences, but that could loose the overall impact (a sense of urgency).
Comment Written 16-Jun-2014