Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Chapter 4 Part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Hi dear. As you know, i do not read romance and so have no idea if this is a good chapter for that genre or not, but I can sense the sweet sincerity and honesty between these two and that's a nice quality...Joe's a real likable character.
I think you rely too heavily on dialog, though your dialog is very true to life and very well done---it is good that it carries the weight of the chapter, but I think you reveal too much through dialog and it would be optimal to also build up the subtle nuances and feelings in the air without verbalization of them by the characters.
i did not notice any sapgs or nits, but read only once this time so might have missed any typos.
Nice work---could be improved (filled out a bit) but is error free so five stars.
Warmly, r d
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Hi dear. As you know, i do not read romance and so have no idea if this is a good chapter for that genre or not, but I can sense the sweet sincerity and honesty between these two and that's a nice quality...Joe's a real likable character.
I think you rely too heavily on dialog, though your dialog is very true to life and very well done---it is good that it carries the weight of the chapter, but I think you reveal too much through dialog and it would be optimal to also build up the subtle nuances and feelings in the air without verbalization of them by the characters.
i did not notice any sapgs or nits, but read only once this time so might have missed any typos.
Nice work---could be improved (filled out a bit) but is error free so five stars.
Warmly, r d
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Romance novels are usually heavy on dialogue.
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Thanks for pointing that out, dear. ;-) That's why I did not deduct a star---because I do not know the genre.
Comment from eliz100
This was a great read from beginning to end. I love a love story and the beginning of this one is very touching. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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This was a great read from beginning to end. I love a love story and the beginning of this one is very touching. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Hi Barbara!
This is SO romantic and beautiful!!! I just loved this caring and nice person named Joe. This is a very enjoyable story that will keep me looking for next chapter...
Thanks for such a great job!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara!
This is SO romantic and beautiful!!! I just loved this caring and nice person named Joe. This is a very enjoyable story that will keep me looking for next chapter...
Thanks for such a great job!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, oh, how I do love our hero, Joe. He seems like such a fine nobel, too good to be true kind of guy. I only hope he does come back after their 500 mile separation. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Barbara, oh, how I do love our hero, Joe. He seems like such a fine nobel, too good to be true kind of guy. I only hope he does come back after their 500 mile separation. Keep writing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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We will have to wait and see. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from L.lora
Barbara, this was an excellent
addition. Joe is such a great
guy, almost too good to be true
and Sara appears to deserve someone
like Joe. Your storyline is proceeding
in a logical realistic way with
excellent narratives and well fitting
dialogues. You've alread endeared Joe
into our hearts and Sara. Looking forward
to your next post. no nits or spags, God Bless--Lora
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Barbara, this was an excellent
addition. Joe is such a great
guy, almost too good to be true
and Sara appears to deserve someone
like Joe. Your storyline is proceeding
in a logical realistic way with
excellent narratives and well fitting
dialogues. You've alread endeared Joe
into our hearts and Sara. Looking forward
to your next post. no nits or spags, God Bless--Lora
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Readywriter52
Sara and Joe are in love with each other, but Sara doesn't want to be hurt again. Joe knows he has to return to his job. He knows his job is dangerous so he doesn't want to become involved with a woman.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Sara and Joe are in love with each other, but Sara doesn't want to be hurt again. Joe knows he has to return to his job. He knows his job is dangerous so he doesn't want to become involved with a woman.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from essence56
This is a very intimate chapter and i just love this writer. I look forward to reading everything written. I am really looking forward to the ending of this novel. Very good character description
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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This is a very intimate chapter and i just love this writer. I look forward to reading everything written. I am really looking forward to the ending of this novel. Very good character description
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ducorse
Engaging, great dialogue, and good pacing. I haven't read the other chapters, but this one is very well done. I like the style and the tone. Thanks for a great read.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Engaging, great dialogue, and good pacing. I haven't read the other chapters, but this one is very well done. I like the style and the tone. Thanks for a great read.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Another great chapter. I'm hoping Joe really is the nice guy he seems to be. I didn't notice any spags, but I was involved in the story. ;)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Another great chapter. I'm hoping Joe really is the nice guy he seems to be. I didn't notice any spags, but I was involved in the story. ;)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from judelesemann
I have really enjoyed this story. You have written a story that keeps the reader involved and wanting more. Well done. Jude
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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I have really enjoyed this story. You have written a story that keeps the reader involved and wanting more. Well done. Jude
Comment Written 26-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2010
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Thank you for the kind review and continued support.