Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Shepherd King"A complete story in written as a poem.
28 total reviews
Comment from annie-angel
Great rhythm and cadence. Great story telling. I am not a real fan of strict rhyming schemes but this worked for you here. Have you ever tried prose? Don't know why I'm asking you that, just popped into my head that you might like it and be good at it. annie
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Great rhythm and cadence. Great story telling. I am not a real fan of strict rhyming schemes but this worked for you here. Have you ever tried prose? Don't know why I'm asking you that, just popped into my head that you might like it and be good at it. annie
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. Yes, I do write prose and also free verse.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
Beth, you've done an excellent job of putting the Biblical tale of David's early years into poetic form. Your quatrains have a good flow and strong abcb rhyming when reading aloud, which is a great asset in a story poem. You've put a fresh face on a familiar story - love the ending when you remind us that the psalms are David's. Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Beth, you've done an excellent job of putting the Biblical tale of David's early years into poetic form. Your quatrains have a good flow and strong abcb rhyming when reading aloud, which is a great asset in a story poem. You've put a fresh face on a familiar story - love the ending when you remind us that the psalms are David's. Brooke
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you Brooke, I do appreciate your review and your lovely comments.
Hugs,
Beth
Comment from Trybuck
You told this story in a poem very well. David, known as the man after God's own heart. Seventh son of Jesse, got his experience watching a few sheep.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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You told this story in a poem very well. David, known as the man after God's own heart. Seventh son of Jesse, got his experience watching a few sheep.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Buck thank you ever so much for the lovely six stars. I really appreciate the rating and the nice comments.
Beth
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You're very welcome, Buck
Comment from psalmist
A good retelling of a favorite story and character. This would make a good children's story, with its easy rhyme and flow. It is told in a simply way that makes it easy for children to understand. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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A good retelling of a favorite story and character. This would make a good children's story, with its easy rhyme and flow. It is told in a simply way that makes it easy for children to understand. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. Yes, I think children might like this. I usually make my poems simple.
Beth
Comment from missy98writer
Beth Shelby,
your poem that tells a spiritual story about David is very well written. I loved your beautiful message in your Biblical story poem. Your rhymes are excellent with great narrative and very good descriptive writing. Effective us of alliteration and metaphors. Your art work is lovely. I enjoyed the the last three stanzas the best: "David became a hero then; The people danced with joy. The enemy was defeated by a simple shepherd boy. King Saul was filled with jealously and vowed to take his life. From then on till the death of Saul, his days were filled with strife. But the Lord watched over David and saw him become king. Today we still recite the psalms that David used to sing." And what a wonderful psalms he wrote. Your story poem is an excellent entry in the contest to Share A Story In A Poem. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a blessed day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Beth Shelby,
your poem that tells a spiritual story about David is very well written. I loved your beautiful message in your Biblical story poem. Your rhymes are excellent with great narrative and very good descriptive writing. Effective us of alliteration and metaphors. Your art work is lovely. I enjoyed the the last three stanzas the best: "David became a hero then; The people danced with joy. The enemy was defeated by a simple shepherd boy. King Saul was filled with jealously and vowed to take his life. From then on till the death of Saul, his days were filled with strife. But the Lord watched over David and saw him become king. Today we still recite the psalms that David used to sing." And what a wonderful psalms he wrote. Your story poem is an excellent entry in the contest to Share A Story In A Poem. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a blessed day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much Melissa, I really appreciate you indepth comments and good wishes. I'm glad you like it.
Beth
Comment from FredCollingwood
Educational, passionate and poetic. This poem has it all. It's a wonderful story of how spirit can overcome might. Excellent poem!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Educational, passionate and poetic. This poem has it all. It's a wonderful story of how spirit can overcome might. Excellent poem!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you Fred, I really appreciate the review and the nice comments.
All the Best,
Beth
Comment from Addy García
when there is a faith and knowledge of scripture verses are achieved beautiful because they come from the best inspiration and that only gives the creed of freedom.
like the images in the verses this is a poem that teaches the wisdom of sacred texts. Congratulations.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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when there is a faith and knowledge of scripture verses are achieved beautiful because they come from the best inspiration and that only gives the creed of freedom.
like the images in the verses this is a poem that teaches the wisdom of sacred texts. Congratulations.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you Addy, I really appreciate the review and lovely comments.
Beth
Comment from Nana2four
I sure wish I had six stars to give you! This is wonderful poetry! One of the best I have read.
When my g-son comes over he often picks the story of David for me to read. I can't wait to share your poem with him (he's only five, but will understand).
I really like that you stayed true to what the Bible Story is ~ it is very much like a Psalm and I love the Psalms!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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I sure wish I had six stars to give you! This is wonderful poetry! One of the best I have read.
When my g-son comes over he often picks the story of David for me to read. I can't wait to share your poem with him (he's only five, but will understand).
I really like that you stayed true to what the Bible Story is ~ it is very much like a Psalm and I love the Psalms!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2010
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Thank you so much Nana, I'm honored that you want to read this to your grandson. I appreciate the review and lovely comments.
Beth