Snowdevil
Easy come, easy go ... (has mild language)29 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
Susan you have a great premise here, but I wish you would make it longer. I know short pieces get more reviews, but you have a really good story going here. Don't listen to the word count guys. Tell your story well, and readers will be grateful that you told them more. I think this could use 500 more words or so. Particulary after he finds the money. Zihautenjo is a great Mexican Beach town---it is where Andy and Red reunite in the Shawshank Redemption. I used to vacation there.
I'm watching my mail box.
Peace, Lee
bare-knuckled or white-knuckled?
pitch the bitch of a liftime---nice
a shovel and a whole lotta angry---nice
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Susan you have a great premise here, but I wish you would make it longer. I know short pieces get more reviews, but you have a really good story going here. Don't listen to the word count guys. Tell your story well, and readers will be grateful that you told them more. I think this could use 500 more words or so. Particulary after he finds the money. Zihautenjo is a great Mexican Beach town---it is where Andy and Red reunite in the Shawshank Redemption. I used to vacation there.
I'm watching my mail box.
Peace, Lee
bare-knuckled or white-knuckled?
pitch the bitch of a liftime---nice
a shovel and a whole lotta angry---nice
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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I keep promising, or saying I will, I should redo this one. Or add to it I guess. I love "Shawshank Redemption", that's one of the best movies. And you have been to that beach?? Wow...what I would not give to be there RIGHT NOW!! The last scene in the movie is a great advertisement too. I remember the magical moment when Red finds the little metal box and Andy's note. I need to change that to "white-knuckeled" yep, that's what I meant...Thank you my friend.! Suse
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I've been to the real Zihuateno (not the movie one)more than twenty times. I used to vacation there two weeks a year. I made so many lasting friendships with the locals that I actually stood up in church and became godfather (compadre) to two adorable mexican chaquitas from different families. They are nearing marriage age now. I hope I can get back and stand up for their ninos and ninas too. If I landed penniless in Zihua tomorrow, I would want for nothing. When I can no longer take care of my mother I'm going to follow Andy and Red. It is my escape plan, too. There is always room for another escapee. Buenos Noches Chaquita, Paz, Lee
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") S.
Comment from Jnetgame
This is a great story, Susan. The language and dialogue seem so realistic. I especially liked lines such as: What I found though, sobered me up faster'n eggs and black coffee. Thanks for sharing this piece.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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This is a great story, Susan. The language and dialogue seem so realistic. I especially liked lines such as: What I found though, sobered me up faster'n eggs and black coffee. Thanks for sharing this piece.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Hi Jenny! Thank you! It's great to hear from you again. I'm really tickled that you liked this silly tale. It was fun. Thank you again and I hope you and your family will have a great New Year too!! ") Susan
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A great write, Susan -
so well written and most
entertaining.
a whole lotta angry - anger
I won't be writing so many poems this
year, just now and again - as I want
to concentrate on my novels/short stories.
I hope you will continue to give your
valued support, my friend - good luck
with your writing,
Sincerely,
Margaret
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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A great write, Susan -
so well written and most
entertaining.
a whole lotta angry - anger
I won't be writing so many poems this
year, just now and again - as I want
to concentrate on my novels/short stories.
I hope you will continue to give your
valued support, my friend - good luck
with your writing,
Sincerely,
Margaret
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Hi Margaret! Thank you! And of course I will read and review all your work! Have you considered a book of your poems and stories? I will buy it too. The littel fox and all your sonnets...wow...and wow some more. I sure hope you have a wonderful new year too Margaret. I am going to send you more magazines too! ") Luv you...Susan
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You've a kind heart, my friend - I'll be sending you a surprise through the post, but not just yet... you must wait and see. Margaret. xx
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ooooh...neat! I can't wait. I hope it's something magical to read? I will stop. It's not nice to ruin a surprise? xoxo luv you...Susan
Comment from Trybuck
Wow! You've gotten pretty good with these. Good job of personifying Mr Greed. He is a nasty old feller. Well done with your flash fiction, Buck
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Wow! You've gotten pretty good with these. Good job of personifying Mr Greed. He is a nasty old feller. Well done with your flash fiction, Buck
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Hi Buck! ") Thanks!! I am just thrilled to see you enjoy this one! I had fun with it, albeit the cussing...thought it was necessary...I am so grateful for this "wow" review...many many thanks Buck! Susan
Comment from BethShelby
This is a good story. It speaks of the greed so many people have but it also tells of how karma comes into play so the greedy person loses in the end. Your story is well developed. I enjoyed the one way dialogue.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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This is a good story. It speaks of the greed so many people have but it also tells of how karma comes into play so the greedy person loses in the end. Your story is well developed. I enjoyed the one way dialogue.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Oh Beth, I am so sorry for this late thanks....I really appreciate your reviews, and never mean to be so behind...gee. It's so nice to hear from you! Susan
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a touch of humor. Your story had me shevering. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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This is very well written with a touch of humor. Your story had me shevering. It has a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2011
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Hi Charlie! Thank you! SO sorry you got cold...that's bad. ") BUT so glad you liked this one too...KEEP WARM! ") Susan
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You're welcome, Susan. Charlie
Comment from CodyJack
Susan,
This was incredible and it keep making me think some criminal was going to come and get them. It shows you what greed will do and even make you turn against your friend...to leave him behind. Good imagery and creative. Much enjoyed. Your friend, Cody
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Susan,
This was incredible and it keep making me think some criminal was going to come and get them. It shows you what greed will do and even make you turn against your friend...to leave him behind. Good imagery and creative. Much enjoyed. Your friend, Cody
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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") Oh good! So I made you think one thing, and did another, so to speak? I love it when you enjoy these little tales like this. It is really encouraging...Thank you so much Cody!! A wonderful new year to you!! Susan
Comment from misscookie
What a story It had my attention from the began to the end.
I love the was it flowed. This is a good write.
It all goes to show you God don't like ugly.
There is a message within this write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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What a story It had my attention from the began to the end.
I love the was it flowed. This is a good write.
It all goes to show you God don't like ugly.
There is a message within this write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Hi Cookie! You are right! Thanks! SO glad you liked it, did you read the notes? I saw a weird movie and that inspired this! ") Hope you are keeping warm, it's time for me to go freeze again, taking care of the animules! HUG! Susan
Comment from markk
A great short story here. Great language used to give the feeling of the time and place. Good turn to it and enjoyable overall. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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A great short story here. Great language used to give the feeling of the time and place. Good turn to it and enjoyable overall. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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hi there Mark! Thank you very much for reading even tho it has some language. Good for you! I really really appreciate this kind and welcome review! Happy new year to you!! Susan