Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "Part two, Chapter 17"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
62 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
Boy, that Slim sounds like a real loser. He and Bobby and Bobby's cousin are definitely three of a kind. It is a shame that men like that exist in our society.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Boy, that Slim sounds like a real loser. He and Bobby and Bobby's cousin are definitely three of a kind. It is a shame that men like that exist in our society.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello again Barbara
This chapter is very well written and it definitely adds a bit of excitement to your story. I sit here with a worm on my tongue (baited breath) waiting for the next chapter
Bear
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Hello again Barbara
This chapter is very well written and it definitely adds a bit of excitement to your story. I sit here with a worm on my tongue (baited breath) waiting for the next chapter
Bear
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from HPicasso
Has some excitement starting to build within this chapter.
Great characterisation and the dialog flowed well.
Slims violent and controlling nature Anna's fear of him are very vivid. Your dialogue and discription make the story comfortable to read and engaging. Poor Ana is scared and I don't blame but she has Paul, Everett and Troy that will keep her safe. I have always enjoyed and admired the skill of really good story teller.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Has some excitement starting to build within this chapter.
Great characterisation and the dialog flowed well.
Slims violent and controlling nature Anna's fear of him are very vivid. Your dialogue and discription make the story comfortable to read and engaging. Poor Ana is scared and I don't blame but she has Paul, Everett and Troy that will keep her safe. I have always enjoyed and admired the skill of really good story teller.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from peggles
,this is very well written, Barbara,
as Anna has revealed information about Slim
I hope this will not backfire on her
Those men sound like really horrid pigs and I do believe
(birds of a feather stay together)
You use dialogue so well
Helping the homeless man shows her compassion
I am enjoyed this story and waiting for more
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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,this is very well written, Barbara,
as Anna has revealed information about Slim
I hope this will not backfire on her
Those men sound like really horrid pigs and I do believe
(birds of a feather stay together)
You use dialogue so well
Helping the homeless man shows her compassion
I am enjoyed this story and waiting for more
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robina1978
Amazing how you manage to write each chapter this well. Anna tells all she knows and now the guy is going to check. Hopefully that reassures her a bit, but doubt it after what she told.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Amazing how you manage to write each chapter this well. Anna tells all she knows and now the guy is going to check. Hopefully that reassures her a bit, but doubt it after what she told.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book and there are just a few small changes recommended ...
* You have - a souped up 1968 dodge charger .. I suggest -
a souped-up 1968 Dodge Charger (because this is the name of a car.)
* You have - ice tea ... I suggest - ice-tea ...
* You have - I felt like ... I suggest - I felt as if ...
* You have - every other words was a curse word ... this should be - every other word was ....
Now, I look forward to your next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Hullo Barbara ....
I enjoyed reading this chapter of your book and there are just a few small changes recommended ...
* You have - a souped up 1968 dodge charger .. I suggest -
a souped-up 1968 Dodge Charger (because this is the name of a car.)
* You have - ice tea ... I suggest - ice-tea ...
* You have - I felt like ... I suggest - I felt as if ...
* You have - every other words was a curse word ... this should be - every other word was ....
Now, I look forward to your next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gideon300
I must say hiding from that loser sounds like a stellar plan to me. I will never understand the pleasure those creeps get out of hurting people.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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I must say hiding from that loser sounds like a stellar plan to me. I will never understand the pleasure those creeps get out of hurting people.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
This is very well written. I can feel the dialogue compelling me forward as I read it. That is a gift you have that I have noticed before. Your writing is always crisp and concise.
There is one thing I see, an oversight, I'm sure.
1968 dodge charger - ' dodge' means to avoid. 'Dodge' is a automobile brand and so, 'charger' is what you have your cell phone plugged into while 'Charger' is a particular model of a car. Despite the semblance of being smart ass, I used to sell cars. It irked me when someone used lower case for a brand or model name.
Everything else is outstanding!
E
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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This is very well written. I can feel the dialogue compelling me forward as I read it. That is a gift you have that I have noticed before. Your writing is always crisp and concise.
There is one thing I see, an oversight, I'm sure.
1968 dodge charger - ' dodge' means to avoid. 'Dodge' is a automobile brand and so, 'charger' is what you have your cell phone plugged into while 'Charger' is a particular model of a car. Despite the semblance of being smart ass, I used to sell cars. It irked me when someone used lower case for a brand or model name.
Everything else is outstanding!
E
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I need to fix that, I knew better, just spaced out.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where anna reveals information about slim and everett promises to keep her safe from him
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where anna reveals information about slim and everett promises to keep her safe from him
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Your latest chapter of your is wonderfully written with terrific imagery, great descriptive writing and you do a good job showing and not telling. We learn Slim is bad news and about a robbery he may have involved her scum bag ex in. Slim is one bad dude from your description. The cheeseburger and fries I could smell as I read. It's midnight and I can't eat, but I'm now Jonesing from a cheeseburger and fries now with ketchup and mustard. I hope you're health is good. I've been under the weather with a bladder infection and celulitus. I look forward to reading further chapters. Keep on writing entertaining stories and please have a fabulous day, my friend. Melissa.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Barbara,
Your latest chapter of your is wonderfully written with terrific imagery, great descriptive writing and you do a good job showing and not telling. We learn Slim is bad news and about a robbery he may have involved her scum bag ex in. Slim is one bad dude from your description. The cheeseburger and fries I could smell as I read. It's midnight and I can't eat, but I'm now Jonesing from a cheeseburger and fries now with ketchup and mustard. I hope you're health is good. I've been under the weather with a bladder infection and celulitus. I look forward to reading further chapters. Keep on writing entertaining stories and please have a fabulous day, my friend. Melissa.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.