Hedgerow Tales
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Our Posh New Den"Book 3 in the Hedgerow Series
31 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I will give you the best of send offs.This is very well written like all your Hedge Row Capers.
I have spent the entire day reading a Western book "Mr Green" is writing. He has 18 chapters and it is very good. You and your hubby will like it a lot. He has trouble with punctuation too.He has not had much recognition. I guess westerns just aren't that popular. Hugs Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
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I will give you the best of send offs.This is very well written like all your Hedge Row Capers.
I have spent the entire day reading a Western book "Mr Green" is writing. He has 18 chapters and it is very good. You and your hubby will like it a lot. He has trouble with punctuation too.He has not had much recognition. I guess westerns just aren't that popular. Hugs Nancy
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
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Hi, Nancy! Thank you for the lovely review and for the lovely 6 stars! You are such a love! That Western Book, is Mr Green on Fanstory? I will try to find him if he is. I wouldn't worry too much about how many like westerns, there is still a big market out there, or publishers would not be bothered. It's like this Hedgerow stories of mine, I have my regular readers, (which of course includes you, my friend) those who have children and/or grandchildren, but others will look and children's poetry is not their scene. I can understand that. But the ones who do follow my stories come back time after time, and you would find that with the westerns. If I were you, I'd give it another go, let people know you are really into them and you will be surprised how many will stay with you, there are some really nice people on here, and they will help you as well. I have so much help already on this one, two have actually cut and pasted this story and put suggestion beside it to show me where it could be improved, then it's up to me if I use them or not. I must say the suggestions so far have been really constructive, and that is what I asked for. Give it another go! Thank you again for the lovely review and 6 stars you gave me! Sandra. xsx
Comment from Gungalo
Wow Sandra, this is good girl. A posh new den is it. Well they were lucky to have such a friend as Whiffy to give them a new den!! They cleaned it and it worked out wonderful.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Wow Sandra, this is good girl. A posh new den is it. Well they were lucky to have such a friend as Whiffy to give them a new den!! They cleaned it and it worked out wonderful.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thank you Gungalo! I am really pleased you enjoyed it!! Thank you. xsx
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My pleasure Sandra, It's wonderful for kids!!
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Sandra, you are off to a tremendous start with the new book. I love this story. It describes the compassion that these characters have towards Whiffy. He needs friends and there is no better a group of friends than the 'hedgerow gang'.
The flow travels easily with an unforced rhyme scheme. This scheme does add quite a bit of life to this wonderful first chapter. I am so glad I found this because I'm still a kid at heart.
The artwork is a great choice that truly compliments your story. Very well written, my friend,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Sandra, you are off to a tremendous start with the new book. I love this story. It describes the compassion that these characters have towards Whiffy. He needs friends and there is no better a group of friends than the 'hedgerow gang'.
The flow travels easily with an unforced rhyme scheme. This scheme does add quite a bit of life to this wonderful first chapter. I am so glad I found this because I'm still a kid at heart.
The artwork is a great choice that truly compliments your story. Very well written, my friend,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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aww, thank you, Jim! You are very kind! I am so pleased you liked it, and thank you so very much for the 6 stars! Now go and rest, I want to know that you are up and about, and well! xsx Sandra.
Comment from squid152
This write should be a children's book with lots of big pictures. I lived Whiffy the weasel and Millie. Quite entertaining, even for an adult.-Squid
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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This write should be a children's book with lots of big pictures. I lived Whiffy the weasel and Millie. Quite entertaining, even for an adult.-Squid
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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You are such a wonderful reviewer! You know how to put a smile on a girls (oldish girl) face!! Thank you Gary, I appreciate your review. Thanks again! xsx
Comment from Selestia
I love the rhythm of this poem and the flow of the dialogue. The story has a nice pace to it that doesn't get bogged down. Characters are nicely defined. Charming tale written if rhyme. How clever.
Only one problem I see:
"Why did you hide?" they asked, "What did you mean?"
Shouldn't the second question be "What do you mean?"
Children will love it.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I love the rhythm of this poem and the flow of the dialogue. The story has a nice pace to it that doesn't get bogged down. Characters are nicely defined. Charming tale written if rhyme. How clever.
Only one problem I see:
"Why did you hide?" they asked, "What did you mean?"
Shouldn't the second question be "What do you mean?"
Children will love it.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much for this amazing review and giving it all those stars! I am so pleased you enjoyed it! And also, I do agree, I made a mistake there, I will go and change it, thank you so much for finding it and telling me! xsx
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Whiffy the Weasel walked down Hedgerow Lane,
then stopped...turned round...and Went back again.
He was feeling quite nervous, what should he do?
Are they really my friends, he thought...is It really true?
He took a deep breath, then turned round once more,
then walked down the lane, straight up to the door.
He timidly knocked, the door opened wide,
Daddy Mouse smiled and said, "Come on inside.
There are all upstairs waiting; they said you'd be here."
Then added kindly, understanding his fear,
"Timmy and Tommy are so pleased you agreed,
to help find a den...youre Just what they need!"
Feeling much happier than he felt before,
Whiffy went up to the boy's bedroom door.
With another deep breath, he knocked and went in,
he was oh so pleased when they all turned and grinned!
"Hello, Whiffy! Come and sit over here,
we are trying to think of a brilliant idea."
Timmy moved over and Whiffy sat down.
"We need an idea for our den," Tommy frowned.
"We want one that's near, or not too far away,
big enough for us all to meet up in and play."
"We've thought and we've thought," Vicky said with sigh,
"But nothing sounds right...perhaps You should try?"
Whiffy looked down as he tried hard to think,
then he suddenly clapped, making everyone blink!
"I'll show you a place, it's high and it's wide,
it's where I used to go when I needed to hide..."
Whiffy stopped speaking, his face turned quite green.
"Why did you hide?" they asked, "What did you mean?"
Poor Whiffy looked up; he knew he'd have to say,
"I was frightened of you, when you came out to play.
I was on my own, because, no one liked me,
so I used to hide...where You couldn't see."
Cyril the Squirrel said, "It's sad...but It's true,
we didn't take the time, to get to know you."
Vicky said, "We're sorry!" Then taking his hand,
"We listened to others,did not understand.
But now we are friends, you need never hide
when you see us, you must come outside."
"Now we're best friends!" declared Reggie the Rat,
with his big cheeky grin, "Well now, fancy that!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whiffy the Weasel led them through the wood,
to a place where the biggest of all the trees stood.
The tree was so wide, and so very high,
it looked as it was touching the sky!
While they were staring, Whiffy walked round the tree,
then just disappeared! Now where can he be?
"Whiffy! Where are you?" They all called his name,
"What are you doing? Are you playing a game?"
Then suddenly they heard him, laughing away,
"I'm here! Can't you see me? Come in and play."
Then he was there, he stepped out of the tree!
"Wow!" shouted Reggie, "can we come in and see?"
They all followed Whiffy, through a crack in the bark,
that opened inside, yet wasn't that dark.
"This is my hidey hole; it would make a good den.
It can be yours too...if I can come now and then."
The friends were amazed, "Are you sure you don't mind?"
Millie just hugged him, "You really are kind!"
Their new den was perfect, they'd make it look good,
clean it and sweep it as much as they could.
Millie said, "I'll bring a rug for the floor,
I have one at home I don't use any more."
Off they all went to get dusters and brooms,
to set about making the nicest of rooms.
It didn't take long, it was soon nice and clean,
leaving them with the best den they had seen.
After laying the rug down on the clean floor,
Millie said, "Now we want a sign for the door."
"What a good idea," said Tommy...and Then,
"How about calling it - Our Posh New Den!"
hello my friend I hope you don't mind I have pasted the poem above with a few minor corrections it is just my humble opinion you don't have to use them I am just trying to help I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Whiffy the Weasel walked down Hedgerow Lane,
then stopped...turned round...and Went back again.
He was feeling quite nervous, what should he do?
Are they really my friends, he thought...is It really true?
He took a deep breath, then turned round once more,
then walked down the lane, straight up to the door.
He timidly knocked, the door opened wide,
Daddy Mouse smiled and said, "Come on inside.
There are all upstairs waiting; they said you'd be here."
Then added kindly, understanding his fear,
"Timmy and Tommy are so pleased you agreed,
to help find a den...youre Just what they need!"
Feeling much happier than he felt before,
Whiffy went up to the boy's bedroom door.
With another deep breath, he knocked and went in,
he was oh so pleased when they all turned and grinned!
"Hello, Whiffy! Come and sit over here,
we are trying to think of a brilliant idea."
Timmy moved over and Whiffy sat down.
"We need an idea for our den," Tommy frowned.
"We want one that's near, or not too far away,
big enough for us all to meet up in and play."
"We've thought and we've thought," Vicky said with sigh,
"But nothing sounds right...perhaps You should try?"
Whiffy looked down as he tried hard to think,
then he suddenly clapped, making everyone blink!
"I'll show you a place, it's high and it's wide,
it's where I used to go when I needed to hide..."
Whiffy stopped speaking, his face turned quite green.
"Why did you hide?" they asked, "What did you mean?"
Poor Whiffy looked up; he knew he'd have to say,
"I was frightened of you, when you came out to play.
I was on my own, because, no one liked me,
so I used to hide...where You couldn't see."
Cyril the Squirrel said, "It's sad...but It's true,
we didn't take the time, to get to know you."
Vicky said, "We're sorry!" Then taking his hand,
"We listened to others,did not understand.
But now we are friends, you need never hide
when you see us, you must come outside."
"Now we're best friends!" declared Reggie the Rat,
with his big cheeky grin, "Well now, fancy that!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whiffy the Weasel led them through the wood,
to a place where the biggest of all the trees stood.
The tree was so wide, and so very high,
it looked as it was touching the sky!
While they were staring, Whiffy walked round the tree,
then just disappeared! Now where can he be?
"Whiffy! Where are you?" They all called his name,
"What are you doing? Are you playing a game?"
Then suddenly they heard him, laughing away,
"I'm here! Can't you see me? Come in and play."
Then he was there, he stepped out of the tree!
"Wow!" shouted Reggie, "can we come in and see?"
They all followed Whiffy, through a crack in the bark,
that opened inside, yet wasn't that dark.
"This is my hidey hole; it would make a good den.
It can be yours too...if I can come now and then."
The friends were amazed, "Are you sure you don't mind?"
Millie just hugged him, "You really are kind!"
Their new den was perfect, they'd make it look good,
clean it and sweep it as much as they could.
Millie said, "I'll bring a rug for the floor,
I have one at home I don't use any more."
Off they all went to get dusters and brooms,
to set about making the nicest of rooms.
It didn't take long, it was soon nice and clean,
leaving them with the best den they had seen.
After laying the rug down on the clean floor,
Millie said, "Now we want a sign for the door."
"What a good idea," said Tommy...and Then,
"How about calling it - Our Posh New Den!"
hello my friend I hope you don't mind I have pasted the poem above with a few minor corrections it is just my humble opinion you don't have to use them I am just trying to help I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Gosh, Jill! Thank you for taking the time to give me all this help! I had to laugh when I saw it! I have taken notes of everything you have done, and I'm going to go over it again and check it all out. These are the reviews I need, if it hadn't been for everyone's help with the first one, Hedgerow Capers, it would never have been published, (next month!) Thank you so very much for doing all this for me, I really appreciate your help! xsx
Comment from artemis53
Right offhand I can't see anything, Sandra. You'll have to wait for someone else. Right now I'm just enjoying "story-time."
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Right offhand I can't see anything, Sandra. You'll have to wait for someone else. Right now I'm just enjoying "story-time."
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Aw Thank you Diane! I am so pleased you are still enjoying these stories! I am getting some reviews that have picked up some 'stray' errors! Thank you for the lovely review! xsx
Comment from Hollyhock
Lovely story line as usual and plenty of poignant moments in this one.
It does not flow quite as well as usual but the rhyme scheme is strong enough to carry the stanza even where the rhythm is a bit sticky. Try,
"Big enough for all of us to meet up and play".
"When you see us, you must come outside".
"This is my hidey hole, it makes a good den".
"Said Millie,"I'll bring a rug for the floor".
Just some suggestions, I hope you don't mind,
Your stories are lovely, so funny and kind.
Slumber-time tales, the type that we keep
To read to the children until they're asleep.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Lovely story line as usual and plenty of poignant moments in this one.
It does not flow quite as well as usual but the rhyme scheme is strong enough to carry the stanza even where the rhythm is a bit sticky. Try,
"Big enough for all of us to meet up and play".
"When you see us, you must come outside".
"This is my hidey hole, it makes a good den".
"Said Millie,"I'll bring a rug for the floor".
Just some suggestions, I hope you don't mind,
Your stories are lovely, so funny and kind.
Slumber-time tales, the type that we keep
To read to the children until they're asleep.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much, Andrea!! I loved your little rythme at the bottom! I will be going in and checking out your suggestions, thank you so much for doing that for me, you are so kind! xsx
Comment from Curtis Hatch
This is a nicely told story with plenty of imagery. Whiffy the Weasel teaches so real lesson for us all. Just because he was the outcast, he had a role. While helping the despondent crew, he made a multitude of friends. I found no spelling errors.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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This is a nicely told story with plenty of imagery. Whiffy the Weasel teaches so real lesson for us all. Just because he was the outcast, he had a role. While helping the despondent crew, he made a multitude of friends. I found no spelling errors.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much, Curtis, for this lovely review! I had to give him a chance, in the last book he was such a lonely little fellow! Thank you for reading and giving it a positive review, I am so pleased you enjoyed it! xsx
Comment from Onixxiya
I wish I had some instructive criticism, but I don't. I love a story told in a poem like this with a lively rhythm. Fun and entertaining I love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I wish I had some instructive criticism, but I don't. I love a story told in a poem like this with a lively rhythm. Fun and entertaining I love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much, Onixxiya, for your lovely review! I am really pleased you liked it, thank you! xsx