Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

'Forgotten'? are they really forgotten? .If so how come you so graphically,metaphorically wrote these beautifully flowing lines? I could very easily connect with this since bitter memories keep coming to haunt me now and then.'...wounds that sit on shelves......no vessel keeps.Wonderful metaphors -broken jars ,fabric of falsehoods(alliteration too).I loved the phrase'used up yesterdays'.but one small doubt-second last line-'left remains'both words mean the same.Congratulations.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Thank you my friend for your insightful review and for your most generous rating. The idea of left/remains may be considered a bit of a double negative, but for the purposes of the writing I felt it was at least adequate for the expression, and am glad you could forgive the use of "poetic license" in this piece.
I am honored,
Curt

Comment from Laurie Keim

Exceptional

Hi Curt.
You establish a very strong iambic beat and hence any variation will be regarded by the reader as marked (signficant by variation). Poets try to put the most important things into these marked positions.

The following two lines create a wonderful image:
'seeping from the wounds that sit on shelves in broken jars
never to be mended in the tattered threads perceived'.

The variety of word order, for example, where 'perceived' occurs in the above is to commended. By shifting the words around in a line we often get effects that surprise us.

The following two lines work beautifully, too:

'contained inside the cobalt tide that no one vessel keeps
what seems are dreams to some become the nightmares while I sleep.'

Thanks for the enjoyable read.

Cheers,
Laurie Keim

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 23-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your most insightful review. I am humbled by your thoughts and honored by your rating of this piece
Most sincerely,
Curt

Comment from charlyann

Exceptional

Absolutely wonderful...I'm new here ..and am just loving when I stumble across a poem that makes me sit straight up in my computer chair...it's a beaut...you didn't miss a beat...just lovely

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you SO much... I'm new here too, after a two year absence, that is. I love this place, and the people are absolutely the best. Welcome, and thank you once again for your most humbling remarks and generous rating.
Sincerely,
Curt

Comment from cephira

Exceptional

I always enjoy, no that is not the correct word, I should say I always "feel" when I read your poems. Pure and honest. Loved the alliteration and imagery of the whole five senses you somehow (wonderfully) incorporated into this piece of art. Blue ribbon and seal were much deserved. Congrats.
Cephira

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your insightful and heartfelt review.
Sincerely,
Curt

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming couplets
effective use of simile in your opening line
excellent use of meter to establish a steady cadence
good alliteration in fabric of the falsehoods - great imagery there too
good alliteration in contained inside the cobalt
good internal rhyme in some/become
good alliteration in proudly they parade
vivid and powerful descriptive detail throughout
good alliteration and imagery in seas of sorrow
This flows beautifully it really ought to be read aloud
You convey soulful and heartfelt raw emotions so well in excellent poetic form :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you so much Brooke. Your comments are always welcome here. :>)
Curt

Comment from Kevin C

Excellent

Curt,

This is an intense and haunting poem that I found easy to read through a great flow and loved the use of rhymes. You give the reader much to think about with those memories that come back and haunt us. This is a great write.
Kevin

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts on this piece. They are very much appreciated.
Curt

Comment from Bobbi22

Excellent

Memories that pop back into your head for no apparent reason - sometimes real and sometimes distorted and more like nightmares. Excellent use of metaphors in this very well written poem.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you very much for your insightful thoughts and generous stars. They are appreciated.
Curt

Comment from Doc Holiday

Excellent

I like the internal rhymes found here within your random thought poem. Forgotten thoughts sometimes are just asleep memories that can be awakened by some ill-mentioned words.
Then watch out!

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thanks Doc,
They do sometimes do that, but I try to keep them sleeping if I can.
Your thoughts arer much appreciated,
Curt

Comment from Gypsy Starchild

Excellent

Profoundly beautiful. I wholeheartedly enjoyed reading it. It has beautiful flow and form. nice use of internal rhyme. Thank you for sharing. The art compliments it well.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your heartfelt comments and for your generous rating of this piece.
Sincerely,
Curt

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

So very true how we are haunted by our memories and deed throughout our life times. Good use of alliteration: fabric falsehood, proudly parade, seas, sorrow, salty, scattered scars. Internal rhyme with mouth and south. A very good, thought provoking read. Thanks for sharing...

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your kind comments and generous rating.
Sincerely,
Curt