The Killer
Free Verse - Story Poem44 total reviews
Comment from Sararb
Oh wow! I thought she was preparing to murder her husband or lover. You had me going with this one girl. A great flash fiction write. I loved it! Sararb :)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Oh wow! I thought she was preparing to murder her husband or lover. You had me going with this one girl. A great flash fiction write. I loved it! Sararb :)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thanks Sarah for a riveting review.
Comment from Enrique28
A change of pace with a great twist at the end...
They do assault you in the night, but they seem to go some more than for others. An excellent poetic account of action taken that deceives the reader right to the revelation.
He was here!
Can't miss the sound
of his arrival...
Yes, they have a pattern of sound. Just like an abusive partner would have...
Love your presentation. Very clever!!!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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A change of pace with a great twist at the end...
They do assault you in the night, but they seem to go some more than for others. An excellent poetic account of action taken that deceives the reader right to the revelation.
He was here!
Can't miss the sound
of his arrival...
Yes, they have a pattern of sound. Just like an abusive partner would have...
Love your presentation. Very clever!!!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thanks you. Glad I gotcha. Heheh just some fun for a change of pace.
Comment from ronnie k
OH YOU! I had to make a decision o this poem, but it became easier when I realized, this is Gungalo she writes to the reader and the stars are no so important, this is a ten. You had me holding mybreath, is my favorite poet a murderes, are is she a cospititeor? I LOVED THIS! Don't. Do it again lol, I have a bad heart. I LOVE GUNGALO THE PORT
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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OH YOU! I had to make a decision o this poem, but it became easier when I realized, this is Gungalo she writes to the reader and the stars are no so important, this is a ten. You had me holding mybreath, is my favorite poet a murderes, are is she a cospititeor? I LOVED THIS! Don't. Do it again lol, I have a bad heart. I LOVE GUNGALO THE PORT
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Heheh sorry Ronnie. I'll take it easy on ya for a while. LOL. What a review.
Comment from Titanx9
Ha, ha, ha, you fool me, lady! I'm thinking all kinds of thoughts, from wondering what he did to get her so riled up to hoping no one was around to witness her dastardly deed. I can identify with this one. A fly got into my house today. I was baking chocolate-chip cookies, and they smelled delicious. That fly found a way to get into my house, and I wanted to kill him, so I know the feeling. I believe my neighbor who was visiting killed it or let it outside. Either way I didn't care as long as we weren't in the same room. Thanks for a most tantalizing piece of writing!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Ha, ha, ha, you fool me, lady! I'm thinking all kinds of thoughts, from wondering what he did to get her so riled up to hoping no one was around to witness her dastardly deed. I can identify with this one. A fly got into my house today. I was baking chocolate-chip cookies, and they smelled delicious. That fly found a way to get into my house, and I wanted to kill him, so I know the feeling. I believe my neighbor who was visiting killed it or let it outside. Either way I didn't care as long as we weren't in the same room. Thanks for a most tantalizing piece of writing!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thank you Titan for the review and the great story. Heheh.
Comment from Fandoodle
Wow, what a punch line! Unusual and fun to read. Thanks so much for sharing your piece. You had me fooled and surprised. Great job.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Wow, what a punch line! Unusual and fun to read. Thanks so much for sharing your piece. You had me fooled and surprised. Great job.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much Fandoodle for an awesome review. Fooled a lot of folks I did.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, pam, you did an excellent job writing this poem of the torment that was taken care of. can you send the killer to my house? our path is loaded with them.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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this is very well written, pam, you did an excellent job writing this poem of the torment that was taken care of. can you send the killer to my house? our path is loaded with them.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Sure girl. LOL thanks a lot Pam for a great review.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Now that's my kind of poem. (or at least one of them) You built the motive, the suspense, the opportunity, and moved in for the kill. Great write. Bang- 'skeeter's gone!.
;-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Now that's my kind of poem. (or at least one of them) You built the motive, the suspense, the opportunity, and moved in for the kill. Great write. Bang- 'skeeter's gone!.
;-) Carolyn
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much Carolyn for a great review.
Comment from Treischel
Oh you sky devil. You had me thinking it's a rapist about to be murdered and it turns out to be a mosquito. Very clever, had me going all the way. This free verse format was the perfect platform for a narrative surprise.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Oh you sky devil. You had me thinking it's a rapist about to be murdered and it turns out to be a mosquito. Very clever, had me going all the way. This free verse format was the perfect platform for a narrative surprise.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much Tom. You weren't the only one I fooled.
Comment from tedanytime
You could have fooled me. You did!
Reading this line by line one would think there was some bad dude she was going to snuff. Great plan carried out with perfection.
Now that you have some experience at mosquito-cide, our neighborhood has a few thousand that should be eliminated.
You may need two swatters...
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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You could have fooled me. You did!
Reading this line by line one would think there was some bad dude she was going to snuff. Great plan carried out with perfection.
Now that you have some experience at mosquito-cide, our neighborhood has a few thousand that should be eliminated.
You may need two swatters...
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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LOL thank Ted I'll be pretty busy. Great review by the way.
Comment from MoonMuse
*LOL* Great twist at the end! I love all the anticipation only to find out she's fed up with a mosquito. Really fun read - made me laugh.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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*LOL* Great twist at the end! I love all the anticipation only to find out she's fed up with a mosquito. Really fun read - made me laugh.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Thanks Moon for a great review of this one. Hope you enjoyed it.