Sewn Into the Sky
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Skeleton's Puppet"Collection of Free Style Poetry
35 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Gregory, I've read through this poem about eight times and have decided, since you've said it has a discernible meaning, that the speaker is paralyzed. I make this leap with lines like 'scalp bites at every follicle' and "my legs beg to sprint but pray to get rest'. There are other lines that detract from this guess, so I'm interested in knowing where these images find their basis. The phrasing is intriguing.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Gregory, I've read through this poem about eight times and have decided, since you've said it has a discernible meaning, that the speaker is paralyzed. I make this leap with lines like 'scalp bites at every follicle' and "my legs beg to sprint but pray to get rest'. There are other lines that detract from this guess, so I'm interested in knowing where these images find their basis. The phrasing is intriguing.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Hi Bill, firstly thank you tremendously. This is what I had in the notes last night if you're interested. Again, truly, thank you...
I had a severe accident a while back which some of you know. Within A Few Letters touches on that at the end. Anyway, the doctors had me on all sorts of medication, that I definitely needed at the time, until I just up and decided to get off them due to the way they seemed to "numb" everything, my senses. The pain of my injury is nothing compared to the feeling of getting that medication out of your body though. I had no idea such a thing could happen. It is a pain, no not a pain, that's too easy. It is an immensely powerful, immensely agonizing feeling of defeat and despair, but in physical form. There are literally no words to describe it, nor will there ever be. This poem is a mere pin prick into the agony of what this really is. I hope it's okay to share...
Comment from emjaihammond
This was such an eerie read. I really was not sure exactly what you are describing here, but it is cryptic. That is always exciting even though a bit hard to let go of. I wonder, is it about freezing to death? At any rate, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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This was such an eerie read. I really was not sure exactly what you are describing here, but it is cryptic. That is always exciting even though a bit hard to let go of. I wonder, is it about freezing to death? At any rate, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much! I love thinking about meanings which is why I left it open. Honestly though? This is what I wrote in the notes last night. TRULY thank you.
I had a severe accident a while back which some of you know. Within A Few Letters touches on that at the end. Anyway, the doctors had me on all sorts of medication, that I definitely needed at the time, until I just up and decided to get off them due to the way they seemed to "numb" everything, my senses. The pain of my injury is nothing compared to the feeling of getting that medication out of your body though. I had no idea such a thing could happen. It is a pain, no not a pain, that's too easy. It is an immensely powerful, immensely agonizing feeling of defeat and despair, but in physical form. There are literally no words to describe it, nor will there ever be. This poem is a mere pin prick into the agony of what this really is. I hope it's okay to share...
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Of course it is more than okay to share, probably important to do so. I hope things are well with you now. I did not know about an accident as I'm still fairly new to FanStory. I have often felt that medication is to blame for a lot of our problems, though of course it is needed too. Thank you for sharing this with me. I want to read your poem again, knowing the truth behind the words. Well done and I am happy you were able to get out from under this.
Comment from Lyssadawn3
cant say I fully understand the poem or the point you were trying to convey but you are an incredible writer. You make great use of imagery metaphor personification. keep it up!
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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cant say I fully understand the poem or the point you were trying to convey but you are an incredible writer. You make great use of imagery metaphor personification. keep it up!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Why would you give it four stars then? I said in the notes (if you had read) that it was personal and it felt awkward sharing them in public as I had the previous day. BUT that i would share them with you if you needed me to, wanted me to, in order to understand the poem better. These "four stars" actually hurt a piece. Please explain how it is "good".
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Here is what was up until this morning.
I had a severe accident a while back which some of you know. Within A Few Letters touches on that at the end. Anyway, the doctors had me on all sorts of medication, that I definitely needed at the time, until I just up and decided to get off them due to the way they seemed to "numb" everything, my senses. The pain of my injury is nothing compared to the feeling of getting that medication out of your body though. I had no idea such a thing could happen. It is a pain, no not a pain, that's too easy. It is an immensely powerful, immensely agonizing feeling of defeat and despair, but in physical form. There are literally no words to describe it, nor will there ever be. This poem is a mere pin prick into the agony of what this really is. I hope it's okay to share...
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Please reread now if you have a moment. It should clear. Try to review the metaphors,assonance, descriptions and general flow. Not the subject matter. If it makes better sense you can mark it up one. But if you feel the same after the explanation I understand. It just takes away one of the six stars and I'm not exactly sure what you found wrong with it
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thats very admirable that you could share something so personal. I'm sorry but I rate on how much i enjoy the writing i didn't mean to offend you
Comment from Florrie
An interesting poem which projects, perhaps, waiting for death. The words are eloquent and I especially liked the line "Lullaby of a maniac'. florrie
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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An interesting poem which projects, perhaps, waiting for death. The words are eloquent and I especially liked the line "Lullaby of a maniac'. florrie
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Thanks so very much! I appreciate your comments very much Florrie. Really. Here is what I wrote in the notes last night...
I had a severe accident a while back which some of you know. Within A Few Letters touches on that at the end. Anyway, the doctors had me on all sorts of medication, that I definitely needed at the time, until I just up and decided to get off them due to the way they seemed to "numb" everything, my senses. The pain of my injury is nothing compared to the feeling of getting that medication out of your body though. I had no idea such a thing could happen. It is a pain, no not a pain, that's too easy. It is an immensely powerful, immensely agonizing feeling of defeat and despair, but in physical form. There are literally no words to describe it, nor will there ever be. This poem is a mere pin prick into the agony of what this really is. I hope it's okay to share...
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
WOW! Very imaginative and original phrases here really bring the message home. I'm sorry you have this pain... what causes it? At least I don't have much pain, and it's only occasional. So sorry you have to go thru this....whatever it is.
The quality of this is six, but I'm all out of them. :(
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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WOW! Very imaginative and original phrases here really bring the message home. I'm sorry you have this pain... what causes it? At least I don't have much pain, and it's only occasional. So sorry you have to go thru this....whatever it is.
The quality of this is six, but I'm all out of them. :(
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Thank you Phyliss! So kind. You have pain too? I'm sorry. I really appreciate your review I really do. Here is what I wrote in the notes last night...
I had a severe accident a while back which some of you know. Within A Few Letters touches on that at the end. Anyway, the doctors had me on all sorts of medication, that I definitely needed at the time, until I just up and decided to get off them due to the way they seemed to "numb" everything, my senses. The pain of my injury is nothing compared to the feeling of getting that medication out of your body though. I had no idea such a thing could happen. It is a pain, no not a pain, that's too easy. It is an immensely powerful, immensely agonizing feeling of defeat and despair, but in physical form. There are literally no words to describe it, nor will there ever be. This poem is a mere pin prick into the agony of what this really is. I hope it's okay to share...
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Will the pain eventually go away as you heal? Why not take the meds while you have pain?
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Will the pain eventually go away as you heal? Why not take the meds while you have pain?
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The pain has already eased a good amount actually (the pain my arm). The withdrawal symptoms are easing too. I just hated feeling withdrawal Every morning, knowing I NEEDED them wherever I went bc the withdrawal was bad as well as dangerous. I also didn't want to numb my emotions. I wanted to appreciate my new marriage. I'm so grateful that you have shown care. That warms my heart, it really does Phyllis. I think it should be good within a month I am hoping. I might write the story of when I went off (was in a hospital, I wanted to be safe). I ended up walking away and collapsing, ending up waking up in an ER. And refusing any pain killers. My wife cried she was so proud. Did you understand the poem or relate at all, did you like it? I am so happy that you read it. Its really humbling coming from You. Btw Sharyn spoke very highly of you. Thank you Phyllis from my heart. Thank you.
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I'm glad there's a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Hope is what we all need to keep plugging along. :)
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
An incredibly powerful write, GregoryCody! I wish I had a sixer left to give you for it.
Images, such vivid images you have created for your reader to give them a small glimpse of what it is to try and get off of pain medication. Agonizing for sure, as anyone can attest to having gone thru it. A friend of mine got soooo screwed up because of all the pain medication she had to take. It affected her adversely and she actually came within a hairline of commiting suicide, but thankfully realized she was in trouble and called for an ambulance to take her away. Drugs fix one thing but generally cause something else. I'm glad you are better now. :)
You have a true gift with words, GregoryCody. I mean that sincerely. "Death is but a tease under the ice" & "blue snow digs in the belly with metal cleats" .... these lines are nothing short of brilliant!
Thanks for your Author Notes. They may well help someone else who is going thru the same torture right now.
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
bich
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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An incredibly powerful write, GregoryCody! I wish I had a sixer left to give you for it.
Images, such vivid images you have created for your reader to give them a small glimpse of what it is to try and get off of pain medication. Agonizing for sure, as anyone can attest to having gone thru it. A friend of mine got soooo screwed up because of all the pain medication she had to take. It affected her adversely and she actually came within a hairline of commiting suicide, but thankfully realized she was in trouble and called for an ambulance to take her away. Drugs fix one thing but generally cause something else. I'm glad you are better now. :)
You have a true gift with words, GregoryCody. I mean that sincerely. "Death is but a tease under the ice" & "blue snow digs in the belly with metal cleats" .... these lines are nothing short of brilliant!
Thanks for your Author Notes. They may well help someone else who is going thru the same torture right now.
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
bich
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Your reviews are always so amazingly kind, and thorough. It lets me know that you "get" me. That is the best compliment I can get. I always feel good speaking with you. Thank you so much for your compliments. Suicide is a very scary thing and has unfortunately taken two of my lose friends. Depression is an evil evil monster that needs more attention focused on it. Is your friend better?
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Hi GregoryCody,
Yes, psychologically speaking, my friend is doing somewhat better. She is now seeing a psychologist on a regular basis and is going to a Pain Management Clinic on a regular basis. She also has help coming into her home. She has had blood cancer for a few years, and now has spinal cancer on top of that .... hence the extreme back pain that she has been experiencing and trying to live with for quite some time. Her prognosis ... ??? I don't know. She doesn't say. But at least for now she is in a much better frame of mind, and is off all of those mind altering drugs.
Wishing you a good evening and continued good health!
Connie
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Oh no. I hate to hear that, I hate hate to hear that. Please offer her my condolences. I can only imagine. Well, please let her know that even in the darkest hour she is not alone. Many people have been in the holds of depression, and I mean the really bad depression. I wrote about in a poem titled "Nothing". I should relist it with a certificate. I just hate being a downer. But the people that have felt it, can relate, I want them to feel some sort of comfort knowing others have felt it. I wish her the best, the absolute best. Please tell her.
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I will. Thank you so much for your best wishes for her!
Connie
Comment from visionary1234
This is truly excellent Greg - as are your author notes. What shines thru here is the uniqueness of your language - you never resort to tired clich©s and you don't write mired in self pity. Well done!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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This is truly excellent Greg - as are your author notes. What shines thru here is the uniqueness of your language - you never resort to tired clich©s and you don't write mired in self pity. Well done!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Thank you! Coming from you that means a lot, you know that. Thank you so much. "Masterpiece"...
Comment from Spitfire
This is an overwhelming description of pain in every part of your body.
Death is but a tease under the ice
So true. Who wants to live like a zombie. I on meds now for my hives and a pinched nerve and neck hurt. The meds are worse than the pain. Before I even read this I decided to cut out the oxycodine and zyrtec. All the meds promised to make me drowsy and dizzy--likes that's a good thing??? So I'm spacy these days. Not a good feeling. Get well. An accident can sure take a toll on your life. Love the wedding picture. Looks like you have your own angel too.
Hugs,
Shari
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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This is an overwhelming description of pain in every part of your body.
Death is but a tease under the ice
So true. Who wants to live like a zombie. I on meds now for my hives and a pinched nerve and neck hurt. The meds are worse than the pain. Before I even read this I decided to cut out the oxycodine and zyrtec. All the meds promised to make me drowsy and dizzy--likes that's a good thing??? So I'm spacy these days. Not a good feeling. Get well. An accident can sure take a toll on your life. Love the wedding picture. Looks like you have your own angel too.
Hugs,
Shari
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Aww thank you Shari. I DO have an angel. I was on a Massive amount of Oxycodone and contin. My arm was nearly cut off. The pain was horrendous. Getting off them was easy because you take something called Suboxone. But getting off That is hard! I wish you health and that your pinched nerve gets better. That is the Worst! SO painful. I'm really sorry. I bet you know what the feeling I described is then? Its scary. Well if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Helps me too ;)
Gregmedicalsales@gmail.com
You're a really really sweet soul. Thank you sincerely, thank you.
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medicalsales??? Is that what you do for a living?? Seems a curious tag on your e-mail. Just wondering. My problems for the most part are stress-related. I need to spend more time meditating! Right now, I can almost taste the poison of drugs in my system. Yuck!
Comment from poesyapprentice
Wow, incredible is your write, and utterly horrible is the experience. Amazing description my new friend and so sorry you had to endure this! There is something similar I experience when I try to quite smoking, like I want to crawl out of my skin and can't, to put it mildly, one of the worst feelings, and that which prevents me from wanting to quit enough to do it knowing I must endure it, but yours sounds so much worse. How strong you must be to stick thru it and stay off the meds. Bravo to you for hanging tough. I hope what is left to endure is mild and leaves you quickly. My thoughts and sympathies are with you. Excellent, excellent descriptive imagery here! Skeleton fingers plucking strings...lullaby of a maniac, Brilliant! Wonderful opening and closing lines...and the lettuce. All was great! It earned my last sixth star for the week. Blessings!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Wow, incredible is your write, and utterly horrible is the experience. Amazing description my new friend and so sorry you had to endure this! There is something similar I experience when I try to quite smoking, like I want to crawl out of my skin and can't, to put it mildly, one of the worst feelings, and that which prevents me from wanting to quit enough to do it knowing I must endure it, but yours sounds so much worse. How strong you must be to stick thru it and stay off the meds. Bravo to you for hanging tough. I hope what is left to endure is mild and leaves you quickly. My thoughts and sympathies are with you. Excellent, excellent descriptive imagery here! Skeleton fingers plucking strings...lullaby of a maniac, Brilliant! Wonderful opening and closing lines...and the lettuce. All was great! It earned my last sixth star for the week. Blessings!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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WOW. Truly truly thank you. I'm really humbled. Yes it s horrible. I think the worst s over though. Took months. Wasn't mentally dependent but physically. Thank you for writing such wonderful things. I'm so glad you liked it. I was hesitant about posting it. Relieved. Thank you.
I quit smoking by going to electronic cigarettes. I know you're thinking of the weak ones probably but if you spend a little money and get a good one, it hits harder than a regular cigarette and tastes ten times better. Takes a week to get used to then you won't even want a cigarette. Try out a good one, refillable. Www.vapure.com. Ego C twist battery and Saturn V3 atomizer. If you have questions or are ever interested, email me; gregmedicalsales@gmail.com
I promise you, it doesn't seem like it but it works. So much better. No smell either. I never thought I'd like one but the good ones are very different. Promise.
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You shouldn't worry about what you post or be insecure about your writing as it is wonderful and anything goes here on site for topics, sweetie. As far as the electric cigs I have tried the expensive ones and still didn't quit. I AM mentally dependent on them, as well as physically addicted. The problem with using anything with nicotine to quit is that part of the physical addiction is to the additives in cigs that aren't in nicotine products. You have to go thru the withdrawals to quit and I dread that horribly. I have used nicotine gum, a prescription pill, an herbal supplement, and the electronics (both expensive and non) without success. When it's my time I'll do it I guess. I have to change the way I think first before I can change my actions. For me that is key I think. Thank you for your concern and keep posting your great stuff! Blessings!
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I'm sorry it didn't help. You're right that makes perfect sense, the additives. Well, I believe you can do it. I am still addicted to nicotine by the way. So don't feel bad or like I'm high and mighty. I also dip sometimes. Ugh. Lets quit.
Comment from SteveY
Man you are so, so, so, very good with your writings. Boy if this doesn't even come close to describing what your experience was, God will have to tell us!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Man you are so, so, so, very good with your writings. Boy if this doesn't even come close to describing what your experience was, God will have to tell us!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
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Thank you Steve! That's such a nice compliment. Yeah I think the worst is over but I have the lingering effects. I had no idea medicine could make you feel sick afterwards, I'm just glad I asked to go off them when I did. God bless my friend. Thank you.