Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Early Frost"A collection of poems on these themes
28 total reviews
Comment from Hollyhock
Wonderfully effective rondeau. Not a style I have tried myself but you make it work really, really well.
Wonderful imagery in stanza one, all these are universal and ageless then in the second stanza we are brought bang up- to -date with the "drinki and drugs and cars collide". Love the use of "collide" as in the effects of combining the three AND the car-crash image.
The run-on lines mediate the effect of so precise a rhyme scheme and this adds ot the flow of the poem as a whole.
The last few lines are particularly poignant made the more so by the repeated line.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Wonderfully effective rondeau. Not a style I have tried myself but you make it work really, really well.
Wonderful imagery in stanza one, all these are universal and ageless then in the second stanza we are brought bang up- to -date with the "drinki and drugs and cars collide". Love the use of "collide" as in the effects of combining the three AND the car-crash image.
The run-on lines mediate the effect of so precise a rhyme scheme and this adds ot the flow of the poem as a whole.
The last few lines are particularly poignant made the more so by the repeated line.
Excellent!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thanks, Andrea. I appreciate your review which focuses on the poetry rather than the content.
Steve
Comment from Dean Kuch
Such eloquent poetic expression, bemoaning the life of one taken in the prime of youth. Tragic, sure. Does it have to happen? No However, happen it does, and far, far too often.
Shattered dreams of both the living and the dead, left in hopeless wonderment of the things that 'could have been', but will never come to fruition.
I know nothing of 'iambic tetrameter', nor the specific requirements for a rondeau. But, I have known sadness. I have felt intense loss and pain, much similar to the pain you've expressed here. And, I know that this poem connected with me, on a deep and personal level. That means more to me than any phraseology or rule of thumb where poetry is concerned.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Such eloquent poetic expression, bemoaning the life of one taken in the prime of youth. Tragic, sure. Does it have to happen? No However, happen it does, and far, far too often.
Shattered dreams of both the living and the dead, left in hopeless wonderment of the things that 'could have been', but will never come to fruition.
I know nothing of 'iambic tetrameter', nor the specific requirements for a rondeau. But, I have known sadness. I have felt intense loss and pain, much similar to the pain you've expressed here. And, I know that this poem connected with me, on a deep and personal level. That means more to me than any phraseology or rule of thumb where poetry is concerned.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thanks, Dean.
I guess we all want our poems to make a connection with the reader. It is sad that this topic makes a connection with so many for personal reasons....
Steve
Comment from david bell
I don't give out many sixes, but this poem deserves one. Somehow early frost reminds me of troubles in life. I hope that God doesn't give me the cold shoulder. Great job.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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I don't give out many sixes, but this poem deserves one. Somehow early frost reminds me of troubles in life. I hope that God doesn't give me the cold shoulder. Great job.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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David, thanks for one of your rare sixes.
Steve
Comment from alexgeorge
Truly it is the worst calamity that can befall a family that has spent all those years teaching, loving, steering in the right direction, comforting, the young one begins to blossom into adulthood --and then are snatched away by a tragic moment.
My heart goes out to those families.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Truly it is the worst calamity that can befall a family that has spent all those years teaching, loving, steering in the right direction, comforting, the young one begins to blossom into adulthood --and then are snatched away by a tragic moment.
My heart goes out to those families.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Alex, you are right. Poppi is the daughter of friends, tragically killed earlier this year - their family will neverrecover.
Steve
Comment from LadyCosgrove
My goodness that's powerful stuff! So sad, the tragic loss of young life, laying waste to so much potential.
Of course, your skill with words is no surprise (I did not become a fan for nothing) but what is surprising is the emergence of tragedy from one who has gained recognition via humour.
Brilliantly expressed!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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My goodness that's powerful stuff! So sad, the tragic loss of young life, laying waste to so much potential.
Of course, your skill with words is no surprise (I did not become a fan for nothing) but what is surprising is the emergence of tragedy from one who has gained recognition via humour.
Brilliantly expressed!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you.
yes, occasionally I dig into my serious side.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
This is very moving, Steve, as well as well-written.
I suspect this is about another of these all too
frequent tragedies.
'from youthful eyes may hide the threat' -- Yes, that
is the shame and senselessness.
For what it's worth, Steve, I hope it was no one close to you.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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This is very moving, Steve, as well as well-written.
I suspect this is about another of these all too
frequent tragedies.
'from youthful eyes may hide the threat' -- Yes, that
is the shame and senselessness.
For what it's worth, Steve, I hope it was no one close to you.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thanks, lee.
Poppi is the daughter of friends, tragically killed earlier this year.
Steve
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
i was surprised to read something so well penned on here - and then realised it was one of yours, so lesser so! As always, a highly accomplished, clever write which i enjoyed reading, best ephcon
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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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i was surprised to read something so well penned on here - and then realised it was one of yours, so lesser so! As always, a highly accomplished, clever write which i enjoyed reading, best ephcon
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Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thanks, Eph!
Steve
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sad, tragic poem but it happens too often. Kids think they are immortal at that age. Very well written, tho too sad for my taste.
When drink and drugs and cars collide.
Bravado, folly, reckless pride
Yes, that's in a nutshell... typical youth cocktail, just asking for trouble.
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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Sad, tragic poem but it happens too often. Kids think they are immortal at that age. Very well written, tho too sad for my taste.
When drink and drugs and cars collide.
Bravado, folly, reckless pride
Yes, that's in a nutshell... typical youth cocktail, just asking for trouble.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thanks, Phyllis
Steve