Tall Tales and Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "My very own self"Personal growth stories for children
24 total reviews
Comment from Sueellen11
Excellent message on proper ethics and morals,,, this is a great poem for learning kids,,, great entry into the contest,,, good luck,, I enjoyed this one,,, great rhyming and flow,,, and a pretty picture of a well behaved child,,, with one lean room,,, blessings , sueellen
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Excellent message on proper ethics and morals,,, this is a great poem for learning kids,,, great entry into the contest,,, good luck,, I enjoyed this one,,, great rhyming and flow,,, and a pretty picture of a well behaved child,,, with one lean room,,, blessings , sueellen
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I'm glad you liked this one, thanks for the wonderful rating and review.
Comment from FrannyG
This is quite lovely containing a positive message for kids that is so important for them to learn in modern times when so many get lost in consumerism. 'cloths' should be 'clothes' in verse 3. And the very long line in the 4th verse could be shortened to improve the rhythm; just leave out those first three words, you don't need them. Inversions (as in the next line) in modern poetry stick out as being archaic and can bring the quality of a poem down. Worth working on that line. But a very nice job on a very worthy idea.
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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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This is quite lovely containing a positive message for kids that is so important for them to learn in modern times when so many get lost in consumerism. 'cloths' should be 'clothes' in verse 3. And the very long line in the 4th verse could be shortened to improve the rhythm; just leave out those first three words, you don't need them. Inversions (as in the next line) in modern poetry stick out as being archaic and can bring the quality of a poem down. Worth working on that line. But a very nice job on a very worthy idea.
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Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I appreciate your edits, comments and honest rating. I'll fix it,, Thanks FrannyG
Comment from The Closet
This is a super cute poem!
I'm sure the child's parents/guardians would like it too!
The end is very smooth, and I like how your rhymes don't sound forced. Overall, very pleasant and I have no suggestions!
JJ
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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This is a super cute poem!
I'm sure the child's parents/guardians would like it too!
The end is very smooth, and I like how your rhymes don't sound forced. Overall, very pleasant and I have no suggestions!
JJ
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thanks JJ , I am glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from tfawcus
Wow! What a motivational message for a young child! I think you may be being just a touch optimistic if you think that there are many children out there that will share your lofty sentiments though! Still, it's always worth a try. They need something to counterbalance all those dreadful messages that flood in from every direction these days!
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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Wow! What a motivational message for a young child! I think you may be being just a touch optimistic if you think that there are many children out there that will share your lofty sentiments though! Still, it's always worth a try. They need something to counterbalance all those dreadful messages that flood in from every direction these days!
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Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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That is kind of what I thought, I am a Pollyanna for sure. But wouldn't it be nice, if they could all learn and apply as easily as it sounds? Thank you so much for the wonderful review.