Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Pemni Moon"Murder Mystery
41 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
Skeets is very anxious to find Stumpy's close friend, Edward Pierce. I can feel the rush in his call for backup. And then you stop.
You drive me nuts, Bev. LOL
I saw nothing but great writing here. :) ellen
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Skeets is very anxious to find Stumpy's close friend, Edward Pierce. I can feel the rush in his call for backup. And then you stop.
You drive me nuts, Bev. LOL
I saw nothing but great writing here. :) ellen
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Hi, Ellen. Thanks so much for this awesome review. I really got a kick out it!! Your encouragement and support mean a lot to me, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I don't know if I am reading too much into it or not, but I thought it strange Father Brian didn't want Skeet's help lighting the pilot light and how come he didn't notice it was cold in there? Oh well, I enjoyed reading this post very much.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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I don't know if I am reading too much into it or not, but I thought it strange Father Brian didn't want Skeet's help lighting the pilot light and how come he didn't notice it was cold in there? Oh well, I enjoyed reading this post very much.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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You're the only one who seemed to notice that, Barbara. Pretty perceptive of you! You're not missing anything LOL. Thanks for the great review. Happy New Year! Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
You tell the story so well, Bev, so intriguing
and enjoyable, you always leave me wanting more...
(")She pulled me close so the EMT's
after the hellish night he's had - he'd had
He gestured towards the study. "I've had a fire going in the fireplace all evening[,](;) it should be warmer in there." - semi-colon
Owen Larson, a.k.a. Stumpy was brought in for questioning.
We brought him for questioning - repeated yourself here.
Margaret
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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You tell the story so well, Bev, so intriguing
and enjoyable, you always leave me wanting more...
(")She pulled me close so the EMT's
after the hellish night he's had - he'd had
He gestured towards the study. "I've had a fire going in the fireplace all evening[,](;) it should be warmer in there." - semi-colon
Owen Larson, a.k.a. Stumpy was brought in for questioning.
We brought him for questioning - repeated yourself here.
Margaret
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much for catching my spags, Margaret. Always great when a new set of eyes looks at it! I really appreciate your continued support and your generosity, my friend. :0)
Comment from boxergirl
Another nice continuation of your story
line. The character descriptions and
dialogues were both realistic and engaging from
start to finish. Good job!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Another nice continuation of your story
line. The character descriptions and
dialogues were both realistic and engaging from
start to finish. Good job!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, BG.
Happy New Year,
Bev
Comment from ChristineRCJR
A wonderfully written chapter. Author caught my attention from the get-go. The author engaged this readers emotions right away and had me desperate to keep reading. Even though this is my very first time reading a piece from Donkeyoatey I look forward to catching up on the previous chapters.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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A wonderfully written chapter. Author caught my attention from the get-go. The author engaged this readers emotions right away and had me desperate to keep reading. Even though this is my very first time reading a piece from Donkeyoatey I look forward to catching up on the previous chapters.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thank you much for taking time to read and review. I appreciate your gracious encouragement. BTW, donkeyoatey is the name of the person who supplied the picture. Mine is writingfundimension. Thanks again!
Comment from Rondeno
It continues to be brilliant, Bev. They should make a movie of your book (after it's become a record-breaking best seller, of course!)
Love,
Big Mike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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It continues to be brilliant, Bev. They should make a movie of your book (after it's become a record-breaking best seller, of course!)
Love,
Big Mike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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I'm honored by your encouragement, Mikey. Thanks for being so gracious and generous. XXX Bev
Comment from JW
Overall, this is a good chapter and it does a good job of progressing your story.
You may want to review the line below:
Damn, it feels like the inside of a meat locker in here.
Also, if it were me - I would seriously consider breaking this chapter into two. It's a bit lengthy and obviously contains two different scenes.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Overall, this is a good chapter and it does a good job of progressing your story.
You may want to review the line below:
Damn, it feels like the inside of a meat locker in here.
Also, if it were me - I would seriously consider breaking this chapter into two. It's a bit lengthy and obviously contains two different scenes.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thanks for the suggestions, Jonathon. I appreciate your insights and encouragement. Happy New Year! Bev
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You too! :-)
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:0)
Comment from robina1978
This chapter is really excellent, thrilling and exciting. Jana's Gran got taken into the hospital, she goes there as fast as she can. But Gran is already in theater for an operation. Her cousin authorised it. But she did not slip: she was pushed.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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This chapter is really excellent, thrilling and exciting. Jana's Gran got taken into the hospital, she goes there as fast as she can. But Gran is already in theater for an operation. Her cousin authorised it. But she did not slip: she was pushed.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Ine. I really appreciate your insights as you've been with me from the beginning of my novel. There's a few surprises yet, but the end is in sight! Happy New Year! Bev
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where they get closer to making an arrest in the case. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where they get closer to making an arrest in the case. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Thanks so much for your grand review, Sweet. :0) Bev
Comment from James Dooney
Ooooh maybe a conspiracy theory going on here !! Thats the first thing that came into my mind when I started on this. I like this ! I feel that there is a logical progression going on here ! Well done !
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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Ooooh maybe a conspiracy theory going on here !! Thats the first thing that came into my mind when I started on this. I like this ! I feel that there is a logical progression going on here ! Well done !
Comment Written 30-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2013
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James, thank you so much for taking time out to read my chapter. I appreciate your unique insights and your generosity.
Warm regards, Bev