Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Soldier response to Dear John."A book of Poetry & Writing
92 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Even if I remove the picture attached from my mind. . .there's still the For five long years I have survived with love from your letters establishing WW duration (I or II) - and seating this piece in pre-1958.
-our first night's meeting, you got so drunk
-making out in the parking lot
-that day on the ranch, I proposed, we made love that night,
-first you called your mother asking permission to stay over
-remembering the blow up bed
all of these are phrases and/or behavior's completely out of synch with the era this seems to be writing about. If it had been written as if remembered decades later, perhaps it would be acceptable to modernize the verbiage to reflect new language trends, but this is presented as a letter written in the trenches. It leaves the reader disoriented.
Additionally, as response to a Dear John Letter - it is highly suspect that any G.I. would have written so calmly or with such loving memory. The choice seems to boil down to pleading (as lines 1-10 represent) - or condemnation (as lines 11-13 hint at). Combining the two is not a believable scenario.
The concept is lovely. . .but I just felt callously manipulated as I read it.
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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Even if I remove the picture attached from my mind. . .there's still the For five long years I have survived with love from your letters establishing WW duration (I or II) - and seating this piece in pre-1958.
-our first night's meeting, you got so drunk
-making out in the parking lot
-that day on the ranch, I proposed, we made love that night,
-first you called your mother asking permission to stay over
-remembering the blow up bed
all of these are phrases and/or behavior's completely out of synch with the era this seems to be writing about. If it had been written as if remembered decades later, perhaps it would be acceptable to modernize the verbiage to reflect new language trends, but this is presented as a letter written in the trenches. It leaves the reader disoriented.
Additionally, as response to a Dear John Letter - it is highly suspect that any G.I. would have written so calmly or with such loving memory. The choice seems to boil down to pleading (as lines 1-10 represent) - or condemnation (as lines 11-13 hint at). Combining the two is not a believable scenario.
The concept is lovely. . .but I just felt callously manipulated as I read it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thanks Leine I spent years in the army and see what it did when letters came to my guys I guess you have no concept or are out of synch to this but that ok that's why its a poem, each to his or her own thanks for the review,
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a very heart-wrenching poem, my friend. It is captivating in its dark imagery, emotive and well presented. It also sounds very real - this would be the letter from a soldier to "Dear John".
This was graphic and powerful:
But now only to find your soul travels with another as I'm away, this letter brings death for me this day
Please give the kids a hug and kisses, let them know I died a broken man forever away,
a soldier in hostile lands.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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This is a very heart-wrenching poem, my friend. It is captivating in its dark imagery, emotive and well presented. It also sounds very real - this would be the letter from a soldier to "Dear John".
This was graphic and powerful:
But now only to find your soul travels with another as I'm away, this letter brings death for me this day
Please give the kids a hug and kisses, let them know I died a broken man forever away,
a soldier in hostile lands.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you for this
Comment from Genya
Beautifully written, full of emotion and love only to have everything taken away in a letter. I watched the film Dear John and remember how upset I got watching it. Your poem so full of imagery and passion, also made me feel down when I read the words..your soul travels with another while I'm away this letter brings death for me this day. Lovely flow to the poem and very touching. Genya
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Beautifully written, full of emotion and love only to have everything taken away in a letter. I watched the film Dear John and remember how upset I got watching it. Your poem so full of imagery and passion, also made me feel down when I read the words..your soul travels with another while I'm away this letter brings death for me this day. Lovely flow to the poem and very touching. Genya
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you Genya
Comment from Cindy Warren
How sad. It seems so wrong to send a soldier a Dear John letter while he's away fighting a war. How could he stay focused? I'd be afraid he'd get himself killed after news like that.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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How sad. It seems so wrong to send a soldier a Dear John letter while he's away fighting a war. How could he stay focused? I'd be afraid he'd get himself killed after news like that.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you Cindy
Comment from Robin Gilmor
And interesting take on a sad but often event when men are at war over a period of time. Distance is a problem as it becomes old, and old forgets.
So sad but true, especially when the one at war is hanging on the memories of romance and love. He's trying to make his sacrifice stand for something.
Smiles, robin :)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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And interesting take on a sad but often event when men are at war over a period of time. Distance is a problem as it becomes old, and old forgets.
So sad but true, especially when the one at war is hanging on the memories of romance and love. He's trying to make his sacrifice stand for something.
Smiles, robin :)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you Robin
Comment from Delahay
I could not imagine how hard it would be for a soldier far away from home to get a letter from the person they love telling them they have found someone else. I imagine they would feel helpless, knowing this was happening while they were not home.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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I could not imagine how hard it would be for a soldier far away from home to get a letter from the person they love telling them they have found someone else. I imagine they would feel helpless, knowing this was happening while they were not home.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you Ward
Comment from lynglyng
This poem is excellently written. I could feel the love, the betrayal and the despair. Beautifully written and your words gave perfect imagery. I felt I was watching a movie in the theater of my mind. Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem. Blessings, LyngLyng
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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This poem is excellently written. I could feel the love, the betrayal and the despair. Beautifully written and your words gave perfect imagery. I felt I was watching a movie in the theater of my mind. Thanks for sharing your wonderful poem. Blessings, LyngLyng
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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again thank you for this Lyn
Comment from madhatter1977
Sombre mood at the end with the reality of war and the pessimism from the letter from home. Love and war create victims of us all at times although your photograph hints at WW1 or 2 and the trenches. It must have been horrific not only to face the guns but heartache as well. Great poem and good wishes, Hatter
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Sombre mood at the end with the reality of war and the pessimism from the letter from home. Love and war create victims of us all at times although your photograph hints at WW1 or 2 and the trenches. It must have been horrific not only to face the guns but heartache as well. Great poem and good wishes, Hatter
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thank you Hatter
Comment from wiljacro
HI! deepwater. I know that hundreds of guys, fighting abroad, got "Dear John" letters at a time when the fighting was at it's peak, but this very poignant poem describes the reaction such letters received by men scared, and undergoing extreme conditions! A very sad but reading so true. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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HI! deepwater. I know that hundreds of guys, fighting abroad, got "Dear John" letters at a time when the fighting was at it's peak, but this very poignant poem describes the reaction such letters received by men scared, and undergoing extreme conditions! A very sad but reading so true. wiljacro.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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again thank you for this
Gary
Comment from ashimpandit
My dear authors,
"Soldier response to Dear John." is a very good letter and dairy poetry concept.Dear friends you chose
a very meaningful subject. I just read it and feels very painful feelings.You used a very right to object and make it very successfully. Good by..
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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My dear authors,
"Soldier response to Dear John." is a very good letter and dairy poetry concept.Dear friends you chose
a very meaningful subject. I just read it and feels very painful feelings.You used a very right to object and make it very successfully. Good by..
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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thanks