Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

Wow! What kid wouldn't love this poem? Terrific language. Wonderful alliteration; love the made-up words.

"A troll on a tricycle trailing a kite," (Super imagery.0

"And tatterdemalion, tumbleweed troops," (Wonderful sounding when read aloud.)

You have my vote. Excellently penned.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

GLG, thanks so much for the wonderful review and the vote - I have hit the front (just). So glad you enjoyed this nonsense story.

Steve

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Exceptional

I don't know about children, Steve, but this one sure made me smile. A little lost boy who knows right where he is! Wonder what all the fuss is about. :D Nancy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Nancy, thanks for the great review and the six stars - so glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

WOW! what a great read! really enjoyed this kiddies poem of fun You certainly nailed it Steve good luck in the contest!

dip

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, Dip - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

reply by DR DIP on 30-Aug-2014

my pleasure and I did!

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

kiwi, this is full of fun a-a-b-b and so forth rhyme. I enjoyed the whimsical alliteration that catches the reader's ears for smooth flow. Very fun. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, GA - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Superb kiddie's story, I don't know about kids, I enjoyed it, Great even rhythmic meter Steve, one of your strengths is like Stephen Carter, who had a very good feel for rhythm you trad that same path! You have very good feel for language invention and creativity, in fact almost making up your own language, perhaps a new kiwi language, English being your second language! just joking!!!

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, Roy.

What happened to Stephen Carter? Haven't seen anything from him in ages.

Yes, I don't mind making up a wonderful word or two when necessary, following in the footsteps of the great Lewis Carroll. Some people are surprised, though, to discover that some of the weirder words like 'tatterdemalion' are real, straight out of Webster and have been in the language for hundreds of years - and who could resist using them, having once discovered that they exist?!

Steve

reply by royowen on 29-Aug-2014

Stephen just, he simply said goodbye and off he went! when he reviewed my work, he'd rewrite the whole lot, I miss him, he was good! Mark Fowler liked Lewis Carroll, he said I was the only one who understood him, I guess it's Australasian humour, Roy.

Comment from Christine B.

Excellent

I really hope your great work will be shared with many children. If I had any youngster looking to me for fun that comes with a meaningful feel, I'd be more than happy to lead them to these bundles of joyful and clever material you produce. Another bravo from me to you!

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, Christine.

Somehow, somewhere, a publisher will be found. This one deserves a great illustrator as well.

Steve

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Exceptional

FANTASTIC! This is lovely and most entertaining, for kids and adults alike, Steve. I would read this to a child any day of the week for the sheer joy of it. I don't know if this was intended, first word, second last line An(d). Giddy

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Giddy, thanks for the kind words, the six stars and the keen eye for a typo!

Steve

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

Children's Story Poem "Where's Rupert?" This is a great children's story poem you have created here. I enjoyed reading this work. Should it be; Kaleidoscope jesters cartwheeling (through) hoops. Well done.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks for the kind words and the sharp eye. I must have read that line a few dozen times and not spotted the missing letter.

Steve

reply by chasennov on 29-Aug-2014

You are most welcome, Steve.

Comment from acerisestory

Excellent

This is a wonderful children's poem, Steve! It held my attention from beginning to end.

I love your great choice of fun words, your alliteration (truly amazing!), and a lovely flow. It was fun to read aloud, and I'd bet every child would be mesmerized to hear it. One thing: second to last line: "And"

This is six worthy, if only I had one. It's a perfect and strong contest entry. Good luck! Alana

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, Alana, for the enthusiastic review and the virtual six. (And the sharp eye for a typo!)

Yes, this one definitely needs to be read aloud.

Steve

reply by acerisestory on 29-Aug-2014

You are welcome, Steve! Alana

Comment from Tonulak

Excellent

Hi Steve,
This is one of the best humor poems I've read. Even with mixing verhnacular; rapsacallions and rat bag, The lines were so zingy and snappy, I grinned from beginning to end. This is 6-star writing--Ted

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014

Thanks, Ted - what a wonderful comment.

Not quite sure what you mean about mixing vernacular - both these terms are in my vernacular...

Steve