Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

loved the alliteration throughout both verses but does one really have to chose. Mix and match, cross the lines and let the mayhem reign!

Very nicely written. Good fun
good luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Thanks, Gareth. it looks like I'm gonna need it..."good luck", I mean.

I appreciate the review.

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

An interesting and very artistic presentation
in poetic form of two different faces, two
different ways of looking at life that is
gracefully and melodically written as each
stanza floats down to the end of the screen.
Well done and good luck

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Thanks, fast digits. It appears as if I'm going to need all of the luck that I can get.

Much obliged.

Comment from Dawny53

Excellent

Your entry needs no suggestions from me, it is an excellent poem and full of fascinating images! The main reason I'm writing this review is because I want to thank you for your authors notes. Attempting to create literature.. these were the first few words I read this morning and they jumped into my head like you wouldn't believe. All of a sudden I yearn to attempt something, anything! Thanks for giving me inspiration this morning.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Thanks you, Dawny, and it is reviews such as the one you've graced me with that makes creating so rewarding. To have inspired someone is one of the best compliments I think someone could possibly receive.

Thanks for making my day. :)

Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

To answer your question, I must must be on the stanza two side of this busy, creative poem. Cleverly, you have kept to the letter of the law of two stanzas by stretching out the stanzas. Your imagery is vivid, flow is excellent, rhyme fresh (and consistent.) Presentation is spectacular. There are two words I don't understand, due either to your typos or my thick head: "cerubs" and "braw." (I think I can guess who you are.) Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Whoops! I guess I left out an "H" in "cherubs", Jeanie, so thanks for drawing that to my attention. It has been corrected. As for the word "braw", I've supplied you with the definition below, courtesy of dictionary.com. Thanks so much for the great feedback! :}

braw

adjective, Scot. and North England
1.fine or fine-looking; excellent.

2.finely dressed; dressed in a splendid or gaudy fashion.

reply by Jeanie Mercer on 22-Jan-2015

Thanks for teaching me a new word!

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

I do love our beautiful language, my friend. You're so very welcome. :)

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid use of internal rhyming
excellent use of abundant alliteration
vivid and gruesome descriptive detail that creates mood effectively
love the contrast in the scenes and moods you create and the humor of that closing question :-) Brooke

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Thank you very much, Brooke. Of course, I attempted to make the contrasts as starkly diverse as possible without going too overboard, LOL.

I'm very grateful for your comments. :}

Comment from Debra White

Excellent

2nd Review!
I can view the white on black fine on Classic Fanstory - still black on black on the new site though...
I enjoyed your poem!
Great rhyme and meter - loved your use of alliteration throughout.
I think I'll sit on the fence with my preference of stanza's.... all depends on my frame of mind!
Great take on the prompt, good luck in the booth :)
Kindest regards, Debra


Hi :) The animation and artwork on this entry is great.
I've given a low mark because I cannot read the text of your poem as it appears to be a black text on a black background....
I will be more than happy to regrade and comment on your poem when I can see it!
Kindest regards, Debra

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2015

Try it on FanStory classic if you would please, Debra. Or, you may have caught me in the middle of a quick edit. Check it now, it should be fine. Thanks for letting me know. :)