A Painted Face
a final show55 total reviews
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is yet another interesting rendition of the words the show must go on. Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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This is yet another interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is yet another interesting rendition of the words the show must go on. Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Many thanks for this fine review. Much appreciated.
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My pleasure
Comment from Curly Girly
I reckon this is a good contest entry for 'The Show Must Go On.' As you say, not always is that the case. Sometimes, it won't go on. It's what we choose to do.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I reckon this is a good contest entry for 'The Show Must Go On.' As you say, not always is that the case. Sometimes, it won't go on. It's what we choose to do.
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Many thanks for your thoughts on this. They are very much appreciated.
Comment from Pantygynt
An excellent short piece of poetry with easy flow and tail-end rhyming couplets. The poem's extremely powerful final line resonates so strongly that I can only say I hope most sincerely that the sentiments expressed are purely dredged from creative imagination and do not express a current state of mind.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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An excellent short piece of poetry with easy flow and tail-end rhyming couplets. The poem's extremely powerful final line resonates so strongly that I can only say I hope most sincerely that the sentiments expressed are purely dredged from creative imagination and do not express a current state of mind.
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Hi there,
Many thanks for your thoughtful response to this. It is not a reflection on my state of mind. I love life! Sadly, though it is drawn from the real world I inhabit. Much appreciated
Comment from LIJ Red
Rhymes and rhythm enough, and the prompt sentence appears where it should. I don't spags of forced rhymes or anything illogical to prevent this from competing. Good luck.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Rhymes and rhythm enough, and the prompt sentence appears where it should. I don't spags of forced rhymes or anything illogical to prevent this from competing. Good luck.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Many thanks for the review. Very much appreciated.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
This poem is a completely different take on the prompt! It is interesting to see through the eyes of someone who has really given up and wants to go on to the "other side", or doesn't want to keep fighting the battle here. Well done,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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This poem is a completely different take on the prompt! It is interesting to see through the eyes of someone who has really given up and wants to go on to the "other side", or doesn't want to keep fighting the battle here. Well done,
Rhonda
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thanks you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
- I believe we all wear a painted face or a mask at certain times in our lives.
- I certainly have, and still do sometimes, because it's just easier to do so.
- Especially when we know even if we face the obstacle head-on, yet still change may not be forthcoming.
- Excellent entry.
Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hi...
- I believe we all wear a painted face or a mask at certain times in our lives.
- I certainly have, and still do sometimes, because it's just easier to do so.
- Especially when we know even if we face the obstacle head-on, yet still change may not be forthcoming.
- Excellent entry.
Good luck.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hi Jax, I think we all do this to, but for some it gets harder to put that on at times. Much appreciated
Comment from K. Lorraine
I'm surprised that you didn't already have a five or six rating...
This was an inspiring poem and ever philosophical...
I enjoyed it and I thought the rhyming was good.
I also think that you met all of the prompt requirements and no SPAGS...
I really like the comment in the author's notes.
A very good contender in the contest...
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I'm surprised that you didn't already have a five or six rating...
This was an inspiring poem and ever philosophical...
I enjoyed it and I thought the rhyming was good.
I also think that you met all of the prompt requirements and no SPAGS...
I really like the comment in the author's notes.
A very good contender in the contest...
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Many thanks for your response to this piece. It is very much appreciated.
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you are welcome
Comment from skye
Can't bear to see another dawn
Who says that "The show must go on"?
This is a poem of giving up, of losing the precious gift of life because one does not wish to fight the battle any longer. Help is there. It can be found.
Excellent. Tragic. Real.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Can't bear to see another dawn
Who says that "The show must go on"?
This is a poem of giving up, of losing the precious gift of life because one does not wish to fight the battle any longer. Help is there. It can be found.
Excellent. Tragic. Real.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. Many don't find the help they need, and many more don't want it either, sadly. Much appreciated.
Comment from visionary1234
A unique take on the prompt, and I always appreciate unique approaches (though not a cheery one!). Couple of things:
rhyming 'glint' and 'splint' reads as a little contrived for my taste ... also, you're in perfect iambic tetrameter until:
Knowing all the while, it's too late
DUH DA DUH DA DUM, DA DA DUM
where it suddenly changes, for no particular reason - it stops the reading.
Then the last verse varies a lot:
So this facade, all of this prep
DA DUH DA DUM/ DUM DA DA DUM
To aid me take the final step (GOOD iambic tetrameter)
Can't bear to see another dawn (good iambic tetrameter)
Who says that "The show must go on"?
DA DUM DA DA DUM DUM DA DUM
Just needs a little work on those lines!
And I repeat: your unique TAKE on the prompt is great!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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A unique take on the prompt, and I always appreciate unique approaches (though not a cheery one!). Couple of things:
rhyming 'glint' and 'splint' reads as a little contrived for my taste ... also, you're in perfect iambic tetrameter until:
Knowing all the while, it's too late
DUH DA DUH DA DUM, DA DA DUM
where it suddenly changes, for no particular reason - it stops the reading.
Then the last verse varies a lot:
So this facade, all of this prep
DA DUH DA DUM/ DUM DA DA DUM
To aid me take the final step (GOOD iambic tetrameter)
Can't bear to see another dawn (good iambic tetrameter)
Who says that "The show must go on"?
DA DUM DA DA DUM DUM DA DUM
Just needs a little work on those lines!
And I repeat: your unique TAKE on the prompt is great!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Many thanks for your insightful, honest and helpful review. I will be revisiting this later on. Much appreciated.
Comment from TomyKan
A sad, somewhat depressive, poem, but your message is clear. Good rhythm, rhyme and flow. A photo would probably enhance the presentation of your poem. I respect the right of each of us to decide if "The show must go on", and I don't know your circumstances, but I hope you don't choose the final curtain.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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A sad, somewhat depressive, poem, but your message is clear. Good rhythm, rhyme and flow. A photo would probably enhance the presentation of your poem. I respect the right of each of us to decide if "The show must go on", and I don't know your circumstances, but I hope you don't choose the final curtain.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hi there,
I chose not to illustrate this, and let the words stand on their own. I thank you for the great review you have given. Much appreciated.