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Life, Love, and Other Disasters

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Manifesto of the Machines"
A collection of poems on these themes

25 total reviews 
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
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This is excellent! I love this line especially:

A thousand wars you've waged. With each melee,
you fail to learn, despite the deja vu.

Wow. A powerful poem that talks to mankind and I think you did an excellent job with it. The rhyme is natural and this flows wonderfully. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2016


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Michael, thanks so much for the kind words.

    Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
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What a deep macabre piece of work and it is the truth.
It will end somehow either by their own hands or the unknown yet to come.
The rondeau redouble is perfectly done

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2016


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Barb, thanks for the kind words.

    Steve
Comment from winnona
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A very well written piece. Your well-chosen words flow easily line to line combining and forming their own unique rhythm. They continue combining and forming the message of the poem for the reader.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2016


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from rama devi
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Wish I had a six. This is exceptional ad so relevant and timely! The rhyming is utterly outstanding...I marvel at your finesse! Flawless meter and flow too. I enjoyed this a ton, especially read aloud the second time. Bravo.

Favorite lines--memorable:

A thousand wars you've waged. With each melee,
you fail to learn, despite the deja vu.


There are so many nuances, I won't list them all but just applaud my favorite phonetics, like...

Superb medley of F in
frailties, far, usefulness, fair

Lots of consonance of K and this fine slant internal rhyme edicts and appendix is brilliant::

our Hundred Edicts (See Appendix Two)


Love the M sounds here:
the mess you made when fickle minds held sway.

And W here:

A thousand wars you've waged. With each melee,

Kudos!

Warmly, rd



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 Comment Written 05-Oct-2016


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Thanks, Rama.

    This poem won me a 50-pound prize in an outside competition, so I'm already quite proud of it. Glad you have given it the tick of approval as well.

    Steve
reply by rama devi on 06-Oct-2016
    Congrats and kudos! That's great news! :-))))
Comment from DR DIP
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Steve I have always wanted to ask you is that you in your profile picture?
Now about the poem great write great accompanying image.
Yep mankind has a lot to answer for I know that much
I like the way you added that 5th line in the last verse asthe concluding statement about the position of mankind
dip

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 Comment Written 05-Oct-2016


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Thanks, Dip. Yes, I am sure one of those fine looking rural gentlemen is me - I'm just not quite sure which!

    Steve
reply by DR DIP on 06-Oct-2016
    you look like a scarecrow lol just kidding

    xdip