Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Desert Confrontation"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
25 total reviews
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and let's hope they get away from Junior and Our Gang, except these freaks aren't adorable kids!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and let's hope they get away from Junior and Our Gang, except these freaks aren't adorable kids!
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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That's funny. I took just a moment to catch the reference. Slow on the uptake today. lol
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
An outstanding chapter to this story.
Ole Archie has some fight in him and Sani is still a mystery.
I'm curious to see all he pulled off the light show.
Great suspense in this chapter and tense conflict.
Junior is an idiot and his shortcomings will be the Hokee undoing I suspect.
Great read!
Michael
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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An outstanding chapter to this story.
Ole Archie has some fight in him and Sani is still a mystery.
I'm curious to see all he pulled off the light show.
Great suspense in this chapter and tense conflict.
Junior is an idiot and his shortcomings will be the Hokee undoing I suspect.
Great read!
Michael
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Michael, though I think Archie will be their undoing, that and, well, can't tell that part...
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Mustang Patty
The story moves along nicely, but the underlying story is just as fascinating. I can't help but look at the correlation between the events depicted in your science fiction and compare it to the mess going on in the world.
Thank you for sharing this compelling piece,
~patty~
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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The story moves along nicely, but the underlying story is just as fascinating. I can't help but look at the correlation between the events depicted in your science fiction and compare it to the mess going on in the world.
Thank you for sharing this compelling piece,
~patty~
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Patty! You're right on the multiple meanings in the story. Several layers here.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from writerfan2013
Hi Rhonda
Plenty of action here. Spotted a few things:
"slapping her aggressively. " Think you don't need the adverb, since it's hard to slap someone any other way and you have context to provide the impact.
Whose eyes are wise and raging here? Check punctuation to make this clear.
"He looked over to find her standing, Sani right beside her. . . wise eyes flashing rage."
Um... I don't think his nose fell on Ayla. "His long, hooked nose pointed around until it fell on Ayala." Maybe rephrase that.
POV: who's seeing Archie's emotinal eyes? "Emotional eyes told another story. "
Spelling: " shot on [sight]."
I like the downbeat ending and its hook into the next section of the story. Good job. -Sef
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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Hi Rhonda
Plenty of action here. Spotted a few things:
"slapping her aggressively. " Think you don't need the adverb, since it's hard to slap someone any other way and you have context to provide the impact.
Whose eyes are wise and raging here? Check punctuation to make this clear.
"He looked over to find her standing, Sani right beside her. . . wise eyes flashing rage."
Um... I don't think his nose fell on Ayla. "His long, hooked nose pointed around until it fell on Ayala." Maybe rephrase that.
POV: who's seeing Archie's emotinal eyes? "Emotional eyes told another story. "
Spelling: " shot on [sight]."
I like the downbeat ending and its hook into the next section of the story. Good job. -Sef
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the time and effort to review.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Another excellently done chapter in the book I have grown to be addicted to. Love the notes on experimentation also because they speak the truth. Very well don
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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Another excellently done chapter in the book I have grown to be addicted to. Love the notes on experimentation also because they speak the truth. Very well don
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Barb!!
Take care,
Rhonda