tanka (empty bell tower)
For whom the bell tolls?78 total reviews
Comment from Kerry Foley
That was a well done spiritual tanka. I love how the bell tower,
preserves the night. Wonderful big chimes in photo.
Very peaceful...
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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That was a well done spiritual tanka. I love how the bell tower,
preserves the night. Wonderful big chimes in photo.
Very peaceful...
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Kerry, for your review of my peaceful tanka.
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Your welcome
Comment from Mark Valentine
I love how much you took from the experience of passing an empty bell tower. A nice insight to imagine that the lack of bells allowed pigeons to roost in peace (nice play on "rest in peace"), or that simple wind chimes might be more conducive to creating a prayerful mood than clanging bells. A great articulation of a keen insight!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I love how much you took from the experience of passing an empty bell tower. A nice insight to imagine that the lack of bells allowed pigeons to roost in peace (nice play on "rest in peace"), or that simple wind chimes might be more conducive to creating a prayerful mood than clanging bells. A great articulation of a keen insight!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yeah, Mark, you caught my clever use of "roost in peace." Thank you for your review of my tanka which provided "A great articulation of a keen insight!"
Comment from estory
I like how this bell tower preserves the winter's silent night. that's a wonderful image. pidgeons are roosting in the trees. and we meditate in the peace and quiet. simple, clean, soft, and subtle. estory
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I like how this bell tower preserves the winter's silent night. that's a wonderful image. pidgeons are roosting in the trees. and we meditate in the peace and quiet. simple, clean, soft, and subtle. estory
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, estory, for your review of a meditative tanka.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Oh my, you've learned how to attach a melody. It all works in tangent, visual, music and the words that beckon us all to stop and rest. Great job.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Oh my, you've learned how to attach a melody. It all works in tangent, visual, music and the words that beckon us all to stop and rest. Great job.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Ingrid, I learned how to attach a melody. Dean told me. I could tell you, too. Yes, my poem beckons all of us to stop and rest. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
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I'd love to know how, but fear I am such an old fossil when it comes to the tech world.... Plus...where do you upload from? Is it complicated?
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This is the instructions that Dean gave me:
Each YouTube embed code has a URL address which looks something like this:
the code is:
?autoplay=1
So, the code would then look like this:.../tBu-ewMRhkA?autoplay=1"
Now, do you see the beginning part of the code that has the frame sizes in numerical values?
If you want just the music to play but the video not be seen, you change both the height and the width of those frame sizes to zero.("0")
Comment from TAB_that's me
Great tanka - this is your first? I am impressed. Great visual and sound imagery both.
Nice overall picture it creates.
Good luck in the contest.
teresa
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Great tanka - this is your first? I am impressed. Great visual and sound imagery both.
Nice overall picture it creates.
Good luck in the contest.
teresa
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Teresa, this is my first tanka. It took me a month to write after I stopped to listen and record wind chimes on the way to church. After I posted my tanka, I returned to the wind chimes to thank them for inspiration. Thank you for your review of my "great tanks" and for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from winnona
A well-written Tanka. The words flowed well line to line combining and forming the message of the poem for the reader. I love wind chimes and have a variety of sizes scattered over my property in the trees. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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A well-written Tanka. The words flowed well line to line combining and forming the message of the poem for the reader. I love wind chimes and have a variety of sizes scattered over my property in the trees. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Winnona, for your review of my "well-written Tanka." I am glad you found this to be "nicely done."
Comment from Pantygynt
I think you have this one just about right. the theme is interesting as the chimes need no tower and the tower that inspired you had no bells. the central feature of any tanka should be that central line that serves three purposes: to end the first part lines one, two and three; to begin the second part lines three, four and five, and to be the pivotal point of the whole piece. The birds here emphasize the non-existence of the tower. what could be emptier than that. the trees are the tower.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I think you have this one just about right. the theme is interesting as the chimes need no tower and the tower that inspired you had no bells. the central feature of any tanka should be that central line that serves three purposes: to end the first part lines one, two and three; to begin the second part lines three, four and five, and to be the pivotal point of the whole piece. The birds here emphasize the non-existence of the tower. what could be emptier than that. the trees are the tower.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Pantygynt, I just started my FanStory Tanka Class today and look forward to learning more about that pivotal third line "that serves three purposes." I will keep reading and writing. Thank you for your review.
Comment from megsiew
I feel like in order to properly review this poem, I need to be brazenly honest. I have an older child running around our tiny apartment with way too much energy, using a roll of wrapping paper as a sword and hitting the furniture and a toddler that's alternating between writing in all our books and slamming cabinet doors closed. And yet, after reading your poem and listening to the chimes, I am more at peace now than I have been all day, or possibly, for the last week, or maybe, even longer than that. So, thank you!!!! Your poem has given me a gift I didn't even know I needed at this moment.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I feel like in order to properly review this poem, I need to be brazenly honest. I have an older child running around our tiny apartment with way too much energy, using a roll of wrapping paper as a sword and hitting the furniture and a toddler that's alternating between writing in all our books and slamming cabinet doors closed. And yet, after reading your poem and listening to the chimes, I am more at peace now than I have been all day, or possibly, for the last week, or maybe, even longer than that. So, thank you!!!! Your poem has given me a gift I didn't even know I needed at this moment.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Megsiew, what is it about wind chimes that cause peace? A month ago I was rushing about here and there. When I heard wind chimes, I stopped in my tracks and searched for the source of the tinkling. I found them hanging in a bare tree by a vet clinic. I listened for a minute and felt an amazing calm flow over me. I even recorded it on my phone. I am thrilled that my tanka made you feel "more at peace now than I have been all day, or possibly, for the last week, or maybe, even longer than that." It moves me to tears that my poem can give you a gift that you didn't know you needed at that moment. Thank you for your review.
Comment from dmt1967
This poem paints a picture. I like the black and white picture with it but it is not needed. I enjoyed the way it sounded when read aloud as well. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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This poem paints a picture. I like the black and white picture with it but it is not needed. I enjoyed the way it sounded when read aloud as well. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your review of my poem which "paints a picture." Thank you also for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your tanka. It tells a beautiful story. I love listening to wind chimes. They have such a beautiful sound, so peaceful. I just sat and enjoyed them as I read your words over.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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I enjoyed reading your tanka. It tells a beautiful story. I love listening to wind chimes. They have such a beautiful sound, so peaceful. I just sat and enjoyed them as I read your words over.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yes, Marybell1, wind chimes are peaceful. I am glad you enjoyed reading my tanka. Thank you for your review and wishing me the best.
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.