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The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "Well, I'll be bugged!"
A Novel

25 total reviews 
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Everything Jeanne said sounds a little fishy to me. I hope Charles doesn't marry Helen. I loved his salute to the old gentlemen. I'm sorry to say I've forgotten who Bisto and Jenny are.

 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. More about Bisto and Jenny in the coming chapters. He was an RAF friend. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Lori S.
Excellent
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I like it very much! It's not written simply - but it's smart without making me work for the meanings. I get a physical sense of the main character even though I've not read the whole story - nice job of fleshing him out in his reactions. I look forward to more.

 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Lori. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. Best wishes, Tony
    By the way, welcome to FS. I see that you have only recently joined. I hope you find it useful in the furtherance of your writing.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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As the machinations become more complex at least Charles is being kept abreast of the developments and is no longer working totally in the dark. That is good because it means that neither am I.

Having Helen as bisexual could well throw more than a spanner into the works in Pakistan, but to marry for ones country seems beyond the normal call of duty. I like the way Charles quaffs his house red. I do that sometimes.

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 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Jim. Sometimes the only way into some of these cheaper wines is headfirst, as into an icy sea. Cypriot wines come to mind.
reply by Pantygynt on 02-Jun-2019
    Have you ever tried the Maltese wine. In 1960/61 it used to retail at a shilling a bottle. It was good for cleaning brasswork too.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Tony, here goes my last six, but it's well spent. Another great chapter with a great mix of dialogue and imagery. I was there outside that cafe in Paris. I know the city so well. Great atmosphere. But to marry Helen for the reason of the mission. Couldn't new identity cards be made that would show them as a married couple? Ilearned a few new words. Libation one of them.Thanks for that. Can't wait to see what's next. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
    Thanks very much for your review, Ulla, and for the six stars. As always, much appreciated. I'm always encouraged when you approve of my descriptions of Paris. They are built on a fragile foundation! I rather agree about the marriage proposal. I can't help feeling that Charles would be unwise to go down that path. All the best, Tony
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
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A nice easy read again, with prose that flows well.

Here are a few points you might like to consider:

"Tell me, Jeanne -" I emphasised the first name, "why did you breeze in here and jab a loaded gun into my back? -- I'm not sure of the punctuation here. What is the purpose of the hyphen/en dash?

Cerulean is a new word to me. Thank you for broadening my horizons :)

Then, after examining the intricacy of its contours and veins, I crushed it and cast it aside. -- I like this sentence. Having imagined the leaf representing two different things, the action of crushing and throwing it aside conveys more than the action :)

I could almost see the look of relief as he stammered his thanks and put down the phone. -- I know what you mean here, but I don't think it quite works with the first-person narrator. You haven't seen the person on the other end of the phone, you've imagined what their expression is.

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 Comment Written 20-May-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Alex. I appreciate your positive comments. I've now simplified that last sentence to: "I imagined the look of relief as he stammered his thanks and put down the phone."
    All the best, Tony