Wishing Stars
Minute Poetry30 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Melissa, this reads like a great minute poem to me. Perfect form and the subject is good. I like the last stanza - personal, and may your dreams come true. Good Luck in the contest - you could win with this. Love Dorothy x Just re-read it - it is a clever piece of writing!!!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hello Melissa, this reads like a great minute poem to me. Perfect form and the subject is good. I like the last stanza - personal, and may your dreams come true. Good Luck in the contest - you could win with this. Love Dorothy x Just re-read it - it is a clever piece of writing!!!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hi Dorothy. Thanks for your lovely encouragement. I am delighted you liked my bit of whimsy!!
Melissa
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Melissa!
Such lovely sentiments are to be found in your Minute poem!
Each stanza is relevant and scans well; however, the first stanza reads like a run-on sentence. Easy fix: just eliminate the period, and place a comma:
If wishes could be kept in jars,
become bright stars,
a glowing hope
to help me cope. (,)
Hope this helps.
diane
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hello Melissa!
Such lovely sentiments are to be found in your Minute poem!
Each stanza is relevant and scans well; however, the first stanza reads like a run-on sentence. Easy fix: just eliminate the period, and place a comma:
If wishes could be kept in jars,
become bright stars,
a glowing hope
to help me cope. (,)
Hope this helps.
diane
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Thank you very much, Diane. I have edited it to reflect your suggestion. Much appreciated. :)
Melissa
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My pleasure, Melissa!
diane
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a REALLY good minute poem. It is skillfully composed and it conveys an appealing theme, that of "capturing" aspirations like lightning bugs. The whimsical at its lovely best!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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This is a REALLY good minute poem. It is skillfully composed and it conveys an appealing theme, that of "capturing" aspirations like lightning bugs. The whimsical at its lovely best!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Ohhh, Janice thank you. What an encouraging review. I am glad you liked my whimsy!! :)
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
What a beautiful thought, sending your wishes out into the universe so they'll be known and possibly come true. Giving them precedence over any fear you might have. Your artwork is perfect for your poem.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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What a beautiful thought, sending your wishes out into the universe so they'll be known and possibly come true. Giving them precedence over any fear you might have. Your artwork is perfect for your poem.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hi Misty... I am delighted you liked my bit of whimsy. Thanks much!!
Melissa
Comment from Sally Law
What's fabulous minute poem dear Melissa. The art you chose is stellar and fits your fine entry just perfectly. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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What's fabulous minute poem dear Melissa. The art you chose is stellar and fits your fine entry just perfectly. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hello Sweet Sal. I am really glad you liked my foray into whimsy... I love to write the Minute form and always try to keep it upbeat. Thanks much!!
Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
Absolutely adorable minute poem! The imagery of this young child storing wishes in a jar under his bed is so sweet. And maybe, they will take flight and come true one day, We can always hope. Well done. Great artwork, too.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Absolutely adorable minute poem! The imagery of this young child storing wishes in a jar under his bed is so sweet. And maybe, they will take flight and come true one day, We can always hope. Well done. Great artwork, too.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hi June. You are so sweet to send me your lovely comments. I am delighted you liked my bit of whimsy!! Thanks.
Melissa
Comment from Therese Caron
What a lovely poem. There is always that fear of something horrible lurking underneath the bed, and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could release those horrible things with something of beauty? I love the part about fear and dread would have to go beneath their glow. Beautiful word usage and it has a lovely flow.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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What a lovely poem. There is always that fear of something horrible lurking underneath the bed, and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could release those horrible things with something of beauty? I love the part about fear and dread would have to go beneath their glow. Beautiful word usage and it has a lovely flow.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hell Therese. I am so glad you liked my poem and its bit of whimsy. Thank you very much!!
Melissa
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great job with this minute poem about the power of releasing dreams and pursuing them with a confident hope. Great use of the metaphor of releasing them from a jar as if they're living things that can fly out into the sky.
Bill
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Great job with this minute poem about the power of releasing dreams and pursuing them with a confident hope. Great use of the metaphor of releasing them from a jar as if they're living things that can fly out into the sky.
Bill
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Thanks so much, Bill. I felt whimsical when I wrote it... :)
Melissa
Comment from Brenda Elizabeth Rose
Beautiful poem. I loved the image. You poem rhymed well. The poem reminded me of fireflies that we use to capture and put in jars. So you would have made a light in the night and then open the jar and they would fly everywhere. Thank you for sharing this fun piece with us. Blessings. ~Brenda
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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Beautiful poem. I loved the image. You poem rhymed well. The poem reminded me of fireflies that we use to capture and put in jars. So you would have made a light in the night and then open the jar and they would fly everywhere. Thank you for sharing this fun piece with us. Blessings. ~Brenda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Hi Brenda. Thanks so much!!
Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lovely minute's wish. One suggestion:
'my dreams divine
would soon be mine.'
If the are 'my dreams', then they are already 'mine'. Perhaps one word change might improve the logic?
'(my) [those] dreams divine
would soon be mine.
Just a thought.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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This is a lovely minute's wish. One suggestion:
'my dreams divine
would soon be mine.'
If the are 'my dreams', then they are already 'mine'. Perhaps one word change might improve the logic?
'(my) [those] dreams divine
would soon be mine.
Just a thought.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2019
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Jim, Love it!!! Thanks... I am rushing off to edit!! Hugs!!
Melissa