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The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 109 "A Thief in the Night"
A Novel

27 total reviews 
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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We begin this chapter with a truly excellent description of traditional Afghani headdress, backed up by Bisto's light-hearted description. I can foresee problems ahead if the police there are capable of carrying out a blood test or worse a DNA test. I think they may be as you remind us of its significance in the final paragraph.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Yes, Charles could be in a spot of bother - we shall see. However, being the hero, he may hold a trump card.
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
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I'm afraid the wellness check he did on his friend might end up sending him to the slammer, his footprints in the dirt, his blood on the window. Your story is well-written, very interesting, realistic. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
    Thanks for your review, Dawn. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
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Hello Tony,
A pancake perched on a coil of rope or a dwarf hiding under a mushroom,
seems like Chaprasi may be a master of disguise (or a good diversion).
Charles is one of the clumsiest individuals in literature,
too bad Peter Sellers isn't around to play him (aka The Pink Panther)
or maybe Don Adams as Maxwell Smart.
"Your not quite such a fool as you appear," then again, you just provided a motive for robbery.
My guess is Kayla is off to help Helen, without the bumbling Brits.
Since the image of the markhor keeps reappearing, I suggest a new title:
The Mark of the Markhor
or The Markhor Incident
or Shadow of the Markhor
or Blood of the Markhor (I like this one best, as it relates to early descriptions). :)
This is one of your better chapters, deserves a six, but none available.
Well done
Robert

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Some good suggestions for alternative titles. I?ll make a note of them.
    You may be on the money with your comment about Kayla. It?s certainly beginning to look as if she?d be better off alone!
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I liked this chapter. Good scene setting, and good character delineation sets up this mysterious action between Charles and Chaprasi and Ash. I liked how Chaprasi at first appears so unassuming, so friendly, and then turns out to be the robber of the ransom money. All the starlight overhead helps set that mysterious mood. Good tension in the dialogue. Good foreshadowing in that dream of the pig. Well now they are in a pickle and they must recover that money. Helen's predicament hangs in the balance. estory

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Thanks, estory. I appreciate your supportive comments and the sixer. Not sure at this stage who the thief is. Chaprasi is certainly a possibility.
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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A thief in the night Great China by the way as I read this I thoroughly enjoyed it there's this will be one complete run in sentence by the way I'm talking into a cell phone while doing reviews in 20 degree temperature in New Jersey it read well flowed well no ground issues as well projective and objective contents were both excellent and exceptional while descriptive measures a lined up perfectly good luck with this and have a blessed day dr. Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
    Thanks for your review, Ricky. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. All good wishes, Tony
reply by Ricky1024 on 24-Jan-2020
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh dear, I can see Charles being charged with this. His blood, the footprints in the rose bed, how is he going to explain all that without it looking to suspicious to be a flook? And, he new what was in the bag, he'll have to explain that as well, because as far as Ash knew, Charles didn't! This is a great bit of story telling, Tony, and now I have to wait to see how he gets out of this! Well done! :)) Sandra xx

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 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2020
    Thanks, Sandra. He does seem to be in a spot of bother, but he's the hero! That doesn't come cheap! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Excellent
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Firstly, I like how you include the last lines from the previous chapter before starting a new one!
Markhor is our national animal and indigenous to Pakistan so you were on spot there. I liked reading your work again and things are getting interesting now.
Fun tid bits for you...Chaprasi, in Urdu, is what you may call a Peon or a low-grade assistant. Also, Kayla in Urdu is a banana! :-)

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 Comment Written 22-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2020
    Thanks for your review, Aaqib. I appreciate your comments about this chapter. I knew about Chaprasi meaning a low-grade assistant but wasn't aware of Kayla's name in Urdu. I understand that the Kalash people have a reputation for some pretty strange names, though more of them are now choosing Urdu names.
    All good wishes, Tony
    All good wishes, Tony
reply by Aaqib Naeem on 24-Jan-2020
    Well yes, the Kalashi people have their native Chitrali language as well and only a few can speak Urdu well enough and normally those people choose to be tour guides, shopkeepers and hotel owners, etc in the Kalash Valley! Keep writing, Sir! :-)