Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Dreams Unfold"Musings of an old man -2020
39 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jim. I see that you are experimenting with different poetic forms and doing a great job of the ones that I've read and reviewed. For your first Triolet, you've got it nailed down. Marilyn
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Hi Jim. I see that you are experimenting with different poetic forms and doing a great job of the ones that I've read and reviewed. For your first Triolet, you've got it nailed down. Marilyn
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Marilyn, I am very appreciative of your validation. I do consider you one of the best of the professionals on FS! This year-long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorites into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so to leave a part of who I am and how I thought about life, in words, in their memories.
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Hi Jim. It's good to have a direction with our writing. We all seem to wish the same thing as seniors--LOL--that those we leave behind will treasure our efforts. Keep going with it. Marilyn
Comment from Bichon
The imagery you have used in your poem is really fantastic. You have really made use of the striking words easily and created the perfect scene in the readers mind.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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The imagery you have used in your poem is really fantastic. You have really made use of the striking words easily and created the perfect scene in the readers mind.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Bichon,, I am very appreciative of your review and comments.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Triolet about the wishing upon a star. The repeating lines work well to make the whole Triolet focus on the distant stars that will bring glittering hope to our souls.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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A very well-written Triolet about the wishing upon a star. The repeating lines work well to make the whole Triolet focus on the distant stars that will bring glittering hope to our souls.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Sandra, thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We all have our dreams, hopes and wishes that give us the strength to carry on and be positive. I enjoyed your positive words here, a fine form too, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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We all have our dreams, hopes and wishes that give us the strength to carry on and be positive. I enjoyed your positive words here, a fine form too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Dolly, thank you!
Comment from Gloria ....
I very much enjoy the atmosphere of your triolet, J. There is of course always something magical about being outside on a warm night and breathing in the air while casting nets at distant stars.
Your repeating line is well-crafted to ensure it weaves into the entire poem seamlessly.
Great poem and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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I very much enjoy the atmosphere of your triolet, J. There is of course always something magical about being outside on a warm night and breathing in the air while casting nets at distant stars.
Your repeating line is well-crafted to ensure it weaves into the entire poem seamlessly.
Great poem and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Gloria, thank you so much for the validation.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Dreams Unfold", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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"Dreams Unfold", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Duchess, as always, I value your reflection on my work.
JLR, as always, you're very welcome,
God bless,
the Duchess
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
Beautiful triolet, very well written. I tried a long time but it was not my thing. I'm better with haiku and free verse. You also paint a beautiful picture with your words.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Hello my friend
Beautiful triolet, very well written. I tried a long time but it was not my thing. I'm better with haiku and free verse. You also paint a beautiful picture with your words.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Gypsy, Thank you for your strong validation.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and
presentation, JLR.
-The Triolet is one
of my favorite forms, so
I am glad to see you writing one.
-You have done a good job,
beginning with the repeating lines.
-The imagery is effective, along
with the rhyme.
-The only suggestion I would have
for you is to make the lines iambic.
-Usually, that is the requirement
in the definition.
-Thanks for sharing it, and
hope you try more.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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-Very nice image and
presentation, JLR.
-The Triolet is one
of my favorite forms, so
I am glad to see you writing one.
-You have done a good job,
beginning with the repeating lines.
-The imagery is effective, along
with the rhyme.
-The only suggestion I would have
for you is to make the lines iambic.
-Usually, that is the requirement
in the definition.
-Thanks for sharing it, and
hope you try more.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Pam, thank you,I do intend to polish my efforts with this style and I am grateful you pointed my nuances.
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You are very welcome, JLR. Feel free to browse my portfolio. I have written quite a few of them.
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Thank you, I will do so.
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You are welcome. That is how I learned the form. When I joined FS in 2015, quite a few people wrote them, and I reviewed a lot. That is how I learned the form.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Excellent form in this Triolet! I love the the creative description of dreams casting nets and hope glittering and stardust healing scars! Very well done and captivating!
xoxo
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Excellent form in this Triolet! I love the the creative description of dreams casting nets and hope glittering and stardust healing scars! Very well done and captivating!
xoxo
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Diana, As always, I value your thoughtful comments.
Comment from Frank Jauregui
Looks like you did well in keeping to the form and rhyme scheme of the Triolet. Great job even for the first go at it. I thought the topic and the image you chose was great as well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Looks like you did well in keeping to the form and rhyme scheme of the Triolet. Great job even for the first go at it. I thought the topic and the image you chose was great as well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Frank, your thoughtful comments are very validating and it helps so much!