Letters From Heaven's Gateway #6
Quinn and Missy28 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is so sad. Some many people have deal with losing those precious memories. Memories is one thing I hope I never lose. We don't know what may happen but this has to be so hard for the patient as well as those who love them. Beautifully written.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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This is so sad. Some many people have deal with losing those precious memories. Memories is one thing I hope I never lose. We don't know what may happen but this has to be so hard for the patient as well as those who love them. Beautifully written.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much for the excellent review and insightful comments, dear Beth. Yes, my husband and I cared for his mother who suffered terribly with Alzheimer's. I crafted this story from many of my own experiences as her caregiver.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
This is a beautiful, sensitive and touching story of love.
You used the effects of Alzheimer's disease in a superb way -My husband suffered from Alzheimer's disease. I cared for him at home for three years- you pictured the sudden mood swings, the gradual loss of memory and the patient's impotence to understand or cope with that. I admire the role of the patient and understanding nurse. He did a great job with the letter.
Thank you for this post. It brought back many memories.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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This is a beautiful, sensitive and touching story of love.
You used the effects of Alzheimer's disease in a superb way -My husband suffered from Alzheimer's disease. I cared for him at home for three years- you pictured the sudden mood swings, the gradual loss of memory and the patient's impotence to understand or cope with that. I admire the role of the patient and understanding nurse. He did a great job with the letter.
Thank you for this post. It brought back many memories.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for your heartfelt review and kind words. I, too, cared for my mother-in-law who died in our home under our care. I crafted this story from the many days spent with her. Please accept my sincere condolences in your loss and praise for your efforts. For me, it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
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You are so very welcome!
Comment from Drew Delaney
I am so sorry I have no sixes left. I wish I had kept one reserved. This is such a touching story and heartfelt. I worry about my memory as I forget so easily too. It is a terrible thing. You had me hooked from the beginning to the end.
Be safe,
Drew xx
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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I am so sorry I have no sixes left. I wish I had kept one reserved. This is such a touching story and heartfelt. I worry about my memory as I forget so easily too. It is a terrible thing. You had me hooked from the beginning to the end.
Be safe,
Drew xx
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Thank you so much for your kind review and sweet commemts. This seemed very real as I crafted it from my own experiences with my mother-in-law. She suffered terribly with Alzheimer's. We moved her from a nursing home to our home in her final years and took care of her. Hospice was a Godsend.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo
Comment from robyn corum
Sally,
I am sure you know how must I appreciate you and your prose. There are so few people here doing it these days - and then so few of them who do it well. (shhhhh...) *smile*
I always enjoy your posts. They are always true to life and filled with emotion and characters who feel real.
If I remember correctly, this is a book of small romance stories, many/most/all(?) of which include some sort of letter (am I close?).
I guess I've missed some of them and I hate that. I thought I was a fan of yours - I'll have to recheck that. But then, I haven't been able to review much lately, so it may be just that life has interfered. --sigh--
This post was a sad one, but probably being lived out by many all across the world as we speak/write. Can you imagine!? (Guess so, huh?)
If only every single suffering individual had someone so loving and devoted as Quinn. That would be awesome.
I did see several nits here -- which I found to be really unusual. I made some notes for you and I hope you'll see something helpful:
1.) Who knows what depths of love we have inside ourselves until it's called upon(?)
2.) And maybe, the best lap in the race of life, is the last one.
--> no commas
3.) surroundings, (nestled) a new bed in a strange place. She wished who(m)ever was doing this to her, would be caught and arrested.
--> otherwise, the bed could be across the room?
4.) However, the TV was on, and just happened to be (tuned to) her favorite game show.
--> no comma
5.) The nurse must've heard (Missy's movements) and was stirred.
--> (was stirrred -- 'was moved to action')
6.) I don't like this new bed, and, it's too far away from the television!"
--> no commas
7.) Everything Missy Elliott ha(d) requested arrived (with)in minutes in the hands
--> to avoid two 'in's right together
8.) He tried to catch her eye, but she stared at the television as if she were in a trance.
--> You are head-hopping. You've been telling this story from Missy's pov and you just jumped into the nurse's head to tell us what he is thinking -- because Missy couldn't possibly know this, right? If this story is being told from the third person POV - Missy's -- you must stay in her head all the way through the scene. If you want to switch, you can, but you must skip a couple of lines or add an asterisk or some notification and then do a scene from the different pov. Make sense?
--> Now you CAN say 'Missy could tell the nurse was trying to catch her eye, for some reason, but she ignored him, focusing her gaze all the harder on the TV screen. She had no way of knowing he hoped the reruns might spark a memory of something... anything from her past.
--> make sense?
9.) but it was the wrong flavor, or color.
--> no comma
10.) The nurse was (nowhere) to be seen(,) though,
11.) my nightstand and wonder(:) who are all those people?
12.) Every Tuesday comes and goes, and you are delayed.
--> Tuesdays come and go without you.
13.) The nurse(, Missy's husband,) wiggled the letter from her fingers and signed it for her
14.) and the Hospice nurse would be here to help with her.
--> 'with her' is not needed
15.) Quinn Elliott lowered his wife's bed and kissed her forehead,
--> then you don't have to lower her bed - which is a little awkward and seems contrived since this hasn't been occurring before. (sorry)
16.) "We married on (a) Tuesday and you've never forgotten that.
17.) her devoted husband and caregiver ushering her lovingly to heaven.
--> idk. *smile* I might reword this. It could be taken to mean he sent her there. maybe just lingering by her side the whole way.
18.) It occurred to me while I was reading that you never gave any indication of her age. So I was confused just a wee bit in the beg -middle - I didn't know if she was a young girl who had been taken captive or what. Some reference to age toward the beg would be helpful - even if it's a mention of gray hair and wrinkles or the number of pills she has to take; it doesn't have to be a numerical thing. Just a thought.
This was a precious, shortened 'Notebook' story and we all love those. We need to be reminded to slow down and enjoy what we've got while we can because we have no idea what's down the road.
Please don't be discouraged about the rating. I'm not trying to rude, but I never play favorites and I always try to be honest and fair. I will be delighted to change it. Holler if/when you do a couple edits. But certainly, you do NOT have to agree with them all. If you look it over and disagree with every one of them, that's fine. Only you know what you're trying to do with your work, and I won't interfere with that. I'm only trying to show what I see.
Thanks so much. Have a merry day!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
 |
Sally,
I am sure you know how must I appreciate you and your prose. There are so few people here doing it these days - and then so few of them who do it well. (shhhhh...) *smile*
I always enjoy your posts. They are always true to life and filled with emotion and characters who feel real.
If I remember correctly, this is a book of small romance stories, many/most/all(?) of which include some sort of letter (am I close?).
I guess I've missed some of them and I hate that. I thought I was a fan of yours - I'll have to recheck that. But then, I haven't been able to review much lately, so it may be just that life has interfered. --sigh--
This post was a sad one, but probably being lived out by many all across the world as we speak/write. Can you imagine!? (Guess so, huh?)
If only every single suffering individual had someone so loving and devoted as Quinn. That would be awesome.
I did see several nits here -- which I found to be really unusual. I made some notes for you and I hope you'll see something helpful:
1.) Who knows what depths of love we have inside ourselves until it's called upon(?)
2.) And maybe, the best lap in the race of life, is the last one.
--> no commas
3.) surroundings, (nestled) a new bed in a strange place. She wished who(m)ever was doing this to her, would be caught and arrested.
--> otherwise, the bed could be across the room?
4.) However, the TV was on, and just happened to be (tuned to) her favorite game show.
--> no comma
5.) The nurse must've heard (Missy's movements) and was stirred.
--> (was stirrred -- 'was moved to action')
6.) I don't like this new bed, and, it's too far away from the television!"
--> no commas
7.) Everything Missy Elliott ha(d) requested arrived (with)in minutes in the hands
--> to avoid two 'in's right together
8.) He tried to catch her eye, but she stared at the television as if she were in a trance.
--> You are head-hopping. You've been telling this story from Missy's pov and you just jumped into the nurse's head to tell us what he is thinking -- because Missy couldn't possibly know this, right? If this story is being told from the third person POV - Missy's -- you must stay in her head all the way through the scene. If you want to switch, you can, but you must skip a couple of lines or add an asterisk or some notification and then do a scene from the different pov. Make sense?
--> Now you CAN say 'Missy could tell the nurse was trying to catch her eye, for some reason, but she ignored him, focusing her gaze all the harder on the TV screen. She had no way of knowing he hoped the reruns might spark a memory of something... anything from her past.
--> make sense?
9.) but it was the wrong flavor, or color.
--> no comma
10.) The nurse was (nowhere) to be seen(,) though,
11.) my nightstand and wonder(:) who are all those people?
12.) Every Tuesday comes and goes, and you are delayed.
--> Tuesdays come and go without you.
13.) The nurse(, Missy's husband,) wiggled the letter from her fingers and signed it for her
14.) and the Hospice nurse would be here to help with her.
--> 'with her' is not needed
15.) Quinn Elliott lowered his wife's bed and kissed her forehead,
--> then you don't have to lower her bed - which is a little awkward and seems contrived since this hasn't been occurring before. (sorry)
16.) "We married on (a) Tuesday and you've never forgotten that.
17.) her devoted husband and caregiver ushering her lovingly to heaven.
--> idk. *smile* I might reword this. It could be taken to mean he sent her there. maybe just lingering by her side the whole way.
18.) It occurred to me while I was reading that you never gave any indication of her age. So I was confused just a wee bit in the beg -middle - I didn't know if she was a young girl who had been taken captive or what. Some reference to age toward the beg would be helpful - even if it's a mention of gray hair and wrinkles or the number of pills she has to take; it doesn't have to be a numerical thing. Just a thought.
This was a precious, shortened 'Notebook' story and we all love those. We need to be reminded to slow down and enjoy what we've got while we can because we have no idea what's down the road.
Please don't be discouraged about the rating. I'm not trying to rude, but I never play favorites and I always try to be honest and fair. I will be delighted to change it. Holler if/when you do a couple edits. But certainly, you do NOT have to agree with them all. If you look it over and disagree with every one of them, that's fine. Only you know what you're trying to do with your work, and I won't interfere with that. I'm only trying to show what I see.
Thanks so much. Have a merry day!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
-
Thank you.
Comment from Puzzle
Oh wow. This pulled at my heart strings. This poor woman!!! This disease is so devastating. Especially when it comes to marriage and love. I really enjoyed this piece. It was written well and read easily.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Oh wow. This pulled at my heart strings. This poor woman!!! This disease is so devastating. Especially when it comes to marriage and love. I really enjoyed this piece. It was written well and read easily.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Thank you, dear Puzzle. I appreciate the kind review and comments. So glad you enjoyed it and found it to be easily read. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo
Comment from Teri7
Oh Sally! This is so well written and so heart breaking too. You used very good descriptive words and dialogue with two great songs from you tube. Thank you so much for sharing my friend. I love you! Teri
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
|
Oh Sally! This is so well written and so heart breaking too. You used very good descriptive words and dialogue with two great songs from you tube. Thank you so much for sharing my friend. I love you! Teri
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2020
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Dear Teri, thank you so much. I was my mother-in-law's caregiver for four years and crafted this story from my experience dealing daily with her Alzheimer's. The last year was just so grueling, I didn't know if I was going to make it quite honestly. I had to call Jack home daily because she had become so difficult. Hospice was a Godsend to me and helped me so much. They are angels!!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxoxo
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Changes are inevitable, we should know living meaningfully and successfully only through struggles, love, relation between couples stand in lovable manifestation and not in egoistic keeping stand for relation; you have promoted to teach us a lesson on love; well said, well done.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Changes are inevitable, we should know living meaningfully and successfully only through struggles, love, relation between couples stand in lovable manifestation and not in egoistic keeping stand for relation; you have promoted to teach us a lesson on love; well said, well done.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much for stopping by and for the wonderful review. It is always so appreciated and needed. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :)
Comment from Shirley McLain
That is a sad heartbreaking story, which plays out in the 1000's every day. You did an excellent job and I didn't see one mistake. Take care and stay healthy. Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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That is a sad heartbreaking story, which plays out in the 1000's every day. You did an excellent job and I didn't see one mistake. Take care and stay healthy. Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
-
Thank you, Shirley dear. I appreciate your always kind and encouraging reviews. It means so much to me. Yes, my husband and I cared for his mother until she passed. She was in a nursing home and doing terribly. We cared for her in our home along with Hospice and paid care givers for four years. Imwas brought to my knees daily. What a difficult disease.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xoxo