Comment from
Frank Malley
In Shakespearean sonnets, I think each four-line stanza is self-contained and makes its statement without finishing in the next stanza. This is a technical comment that doesn't affect the quality of this poet's lines. Also a technical matter, I much prefer the four stanzas each separated by a space and a final couplet, also following a space.
This poem wouldn't work as well as it does in that conventional format; clearly, what's written here is probably best as is, less like Shakespeare and yet in itself better expressed.
This poem's focus on great art is admirable, and deft. I think lines eleven and twelve struggle a bit with their music. Perhaps 'Mistakes are bound to happen, and tear the heart' (following a semi-colon on line 10)
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Comment Written 10-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2022
Frank, struggle as I do with sonnet making, I am profoundly grateful for your kind and positive support.
reply by Frank Malley on 10-Aug-2022
The truth is that there were lots fewer rules about correct writing in Shakespeare's day, and right up to the nineteenth Century. Clearly, rules don't make the language great; imagination does. There's so much written about WS that if you talk to a Shakespeare scholar he/she will probably tie you in knots. You gotta read the sonnets, read some of the plays, and get the flow of the era. All the best, Frank
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
Thank you, always ... Jim