Comment from tati

Excellent

This great romantic love story is very entertaining, Bob. Wonderful choice of words with believable dialogue and great imagery. These lines touched my heart:

Ordinarily that attention would have embarrassed me, but I stood and released the brake on Lynie's wheel chair, with a smile on my face and a melody in my heart

Great job. Good luck in the contest. (tati, Febr. 11, 2010)

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Thaanks so much, Tati...I sure appreciate this...You are so nice. Bob

reply by tati on 11-Feb-2010

You're welcome, Bob. Have a nice day.

tati

Comment from Kellytr

Excellent

Mastery, Thank you for a beautiful, spine-tingling romantic story. You created the perfect picture that little girls and young women fantasize will be their own experience when the time comes for the knight to carry them away. A lovely story! Kelly

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Thanks so much, Kelly. Wow! What a nice review...Bob

Comment from iamjoeyC

Excellent

Hi Bob,

great stuff, but you know that, I am new to this forum as well to the art.

been writing technical stuff, filled with numbers and statistics for 20 years, engineering reports and studies galore. manufacturing improvements and the like, I can build you a factory, and make it run lean.

and now that I am sort of retire I decided to try some more creative endeavors, I read everyday and well into night but find the experts more confusing then right.

I have found some go mentors on here but am always looking for more. perhaps if you have some time you might read a chapter of mine, #6 "What did i do to deserve this" is my latest and i think most improved thanks to Charlie Lucas.

the genre of fantasy was not my intent to start with it just sort of happened, but my thoughts are that it doesn't matter what the genre if you are any good you can tell the story regardless of the setting.

I do not profess to be anything but newbie, but i am curious if there is reason for me to pursue my adventure.
I am not looking for fluff or at-a-boys I need the truth about story ability, the mechanics I can learn but the test of talent can only be god given, i crave to know if I may possess any.

Joey C

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Hi, Joey. Well, they say write what you read, you know. Do you read fantasy? I will be honest with you, I need to see this chapter and much more from you, however, right now I am limited as I am on vacation in Florida...and only posting what I have had ready beforehand. I am generally a very active reviewer as you can see in my profile and I will give you more when I get home before month's end. Right now, I will take a look. I must confess to you, however. I don't likemfantasy much. I am more a detective novel reader and writer. That said, I am going to become a fan som I will be notified each time you post something new, Good luck and stay in touch, Joey...Bob

reply by iamjoeyC on 20-Feb-2010

Greetings Bob,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I would not expect such devotion from someone on holiday. I do not wish to interfere with that endeavor, they are often scarce and far between (at least in my personal experience) so please feel no pressure from me. I am so grateful for your ideas when ever they are available.

I received some excellent support this morning from fellow user â??Lynndaâ??. She turned me on to the Chicago Manuel of Style. I am dumbfounded at the volume of useful information their online version contains.

I understand about the genre issue. I did not start out with it in mind it just happened. I read the typical guy stuff Clancy, Ludlum, Dale brown, Dan Brown, Tom Robbins, James Patterson, and Clive Cussler are my top six. I say top because I have read every book they have written. While the hundred or so other authors, I may not have read all their works.

I love fantasy in the movies but have not read a single book of its genre. So I should have gone in a different direction for my first manuscript. I just found it so much fun; once it started to take shape, the ideas leaped on to the screen. So I guess itâ??s as suitable as any genre to learn from. I mean you do not put on your favorite clothes to paint the barn; you choose stuff you can throw away when you are finished.

Have a truly fantastic time on your vacation I will look forward to you contributions on your return.

Joey C

reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010

Yeah, Joey, You should always write what you read or know the best...With reading Alex Cross all the time, you should be writing detective stuff, I think. By the way, I told you to use "I said" "she said" until further notice from me because I wanted you to get in that habit..Trust me...any good writing book including the bible "Strunk and White's world famous, and honored advice manual will tell you the same. I would be glad to advise you on detective or mystery works if i can...Thanks for trusting me...Bob

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi Mastery,

You old romantic you! This may be fiction but I bet your wife now insists on being treated at that special place. Well written and beautifully told and, if it is fiction, its certainly believable.

Patrick

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Hi, Patrick...Ummm..You should read the author's notes on this one, my friend..all is explained..LOL..Thanks so much for the plaudits and fine review, ..Bob

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

this is so beautiful and the wheel chair on the last part was icing on the cake. just a little something to remind us of imperfect perfection. made me smile. imagery is excellent.
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Thanks so much, Barb. You are a sweetheart yourself, I can tell. I am glad you liked my surprise near the end...Bob

reply by babylonia on 14-Feb-2010

bob,
thank you
:P
love,
barbara

Comment from Readywriter52

Excellent

This is a very romantic story of love. Bill has chosen Valentine's Day to propose. When the diners applauded, they understood how romantic the moment was.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010

Thanks so much, Readywriter. What did you think of the surprise at the end? Bob

Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

Ahhhh, such a romantic story. I was breathless with anticipation as I went with Bill and Lynie through the streets to the special evening, the proposal, the acceptance, and of course the surprise ending. Only a true romantic could have written such a story, and I think it took a true writer to make it all come to life the way you did. It had no flaws anywhere, and was beautifully written. I'd award more stars if I had them. Nice work.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010

Thank you again, Merri. I appreciate your review and plaudits very much...Bob

Comment from Belinda

Excellent

Hi, Bob, what a sweet story. Even before that surprise ending (which makes it really amazing) it has what it takes to be a fabulous valentine story.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010

Thanks so much, Belinda. I do so,appreciate your time. Bob

Comment from Thesis

Excellent

Bob, this is a very romantic story. It's a very nice evening and a special time when a man asks a woman to be his forever.

I liked how he "stood and releasd the brake on Lynie's wheel chair, with a smile on my face and a melody in my heart."

Very eloquently said. - John

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010

Thaanks so much, John. Bless you, my man. Bob

Comment from CKLA

Excellent

Once again your descriptions are so vivid. I could see this all playing out as I read it. What a wonderfully romantic moment.
Collette

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2010

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010

Thanks so much, Collette....Bob