Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Terra Sanctum, A Shadow on the Grey"An extended story in poem form
106 total reviews
Comment from shy1250
I have to go reread the prior chapters, but...WOW! Word usage indescribable, picture all too visible, imaginable, as we tremble at the thought of the usage of what we made. So much beauty, and yet we seek power, while those of us with little or none struggle to survive and to cast off society's vote of our unimportance. FAve line: "a kiss blown to the sky". Off to read prior. Your talent is humbling. This needs published, and widely dispersed. Suggestion--start with sending it to your congressman. later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I have to go reread the prior chapters, but...WOW! Word usage indescribable, picture all too visible, imaginable, as we tremble at the thought of the usage of what we made. So much beauty, and yet we seek power, while those of us with little or none struggle to survive and to cast off society's vote of our unimportance. FAve line: "a kiss blown to the sky". Off to read prior. Your talent is humbling. This needs published, and widely dispersed. Suggestion--start with sending it to your congressman. later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Shy! I'm honoured by your fantastic review and awesome rating. This series has been difficult to write at times, but a genuine pleasure. I'm so glad you enjoyed this closing chapter. I will certainly be sending it out to potential printers, in whichever format seems best. I see you're reviewing the other chapters too, which is hugely complimentary :-)
Mike
Comment from Normitalopez
while reading I was transfer to the place and time of the event of the story. I was reading and at the same time it was like watching a movie. Very intense moment at times. The words were actually making me smell and see the story. It inspires me to start my poems.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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while reading I was transfer to the place and time of the event of the story. I was reading and at the same time it was like watching a movie. Very intense moment at times. The words were actually making me smell and see the story. It inspires me to start my poems.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you so much :-). I am a very visual writer, and a scene I'm writing, in poetry or prose, is always playing out in my head, so I try to describe it with my words.
Mike
Comment from sgalletti
Hello Dear Mike! I read this piece several times and waited to review it until Sunday when I hoped I would be able to award the six this piece, and the entire series, deserves. I'm so glad I got one to give to you~I have enjoyed the other Wandering Man pieces I have read and find this to be an extraordinary creative venture on your part. Wonderful writing. I hope you are planning to publish this series in a book? Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Hello Dear Mike! I read this piece several times and waited to review it until Sunday when I hoped I would be able to award the six this piece, and the entire series, deserves. I'm so glad I got one to give to you~I have enjoyed the other Wandering Man pieces I have read and find this to be an extraordinary creative venture on your part. Wonderful writing. I hope you are planning to publish this series in a book? Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Sue. I'm deeply honoured and flattered :-). So many people now have suggested I seek publication with this series, so I would be an idiot not to try. I'll just need to investigate some appropriate avenues. Thank you, my most valued friend :-)
Mike
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Hi Mike!
You might want to check out the following possibility (if your total poems are 10-15 pages): The Coal Hill 2010 Chapbook competition (http://www.coalhillreview.com/?page_id=12). $20 entry fee. The winning chap book will be published electronically as part of the Spring issue of Coal Hill Review and as an edition of 200 paper copies available through Autumn House Press. In addition, the poet receives $1000. Timeframe for submission - August 1 thru November 1, 2010. Hugs, Sue
Comment from vandawalker
A sad, eye-opening poem about what's to come from a nuclear war. We are our own worst enemy. This poem's story paints a vivid picture of the decay and hazards. But it puts the blame where it belongs. Good writing.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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A sad, eye-opening poem about what's to come from a nuclear war. We are our own worst enemy. This poem's story paints a vivid picture of the decay and hazards. But it puts the blame where it belongs. Good writing.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Vanda. I'm so glad you appreciated my poem, and the sombre aspects of my bleak conclusion.
Mike
Comment from Chuck23
I gave you a six, because I think all the quatrains you have included in chapter 10 were perfectly done! I like that you included more than one per chapter --- it made me want to go back and read some of the previous chapters.
Your imagery here is exceptional, and the rhythem is perfect.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I gave you a six, because I think all the quatrains you have included in chapter 10 were perfectly done! I like that you included more than one per chapter --- it made me want to go back and read some of the previous chapters.
Your imagery here is exceptional, and the rhythem is perfect.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Chuck :-). I'm thrilled my work inspired you to a six, and to leave me with such great comments. I let the words dictate the length of each chapter in this series, and it genuinely came out very neatly in ten total. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I enjoy your work, Mike -
this is something so different
to anything else I've read on
site - a most impressive
write.
Margaret
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I enjoy your work, Mike -
this is something so different
to anything else I've read on
site - a most impressive
write.
Margaret
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Margaret. It's the greatest compliment you can pay me, to tell me I'm a tad different! I'm so glad you liked it.
Mike
Comment from rama devi
This section is quite remarkable-
Now picture this: a requiem,
the black upon the grey.
A world insane from lack of light
and decades' dark dismay.
The sun long hid, in fervour lost
to violent children's play.
The shadowless and bone-chill cold,
the black chagrin display.
In fear, we played ambition's game
and gave our trust away
to humbly set our knees to earth
and join with midnight's fray.
With craven lust for power's trust,
quintessence of our hate,
we killed our Terra Sanctum home.
Redemption comes too late.
Overall, an amazing work.
Bravo and kudos, Mike.
Warmly,r d
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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This section is quite remarkable-
Now picture this: a requiem,
the black upon the grey.
A world insane from lack of light
and decades' dark dismay.
The sun long hid, in fervour lost
to violent children's play.
The shadowless and bone-chill cold,
the black chagrin display.
In fear, we played ambition's game
and gave our trust away
to humbly set our knees to earth
and join with midnight's fray.
With craven lust for power's trust,
quintessence of our hate,
we killed our Terra Sanctum home.
Redemption comes too late.
Overall, an amazing work.
Bravo and kudos, Mike.
Warmly,r d
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, rd, and I can honestly say you helped immensely with this series. There's nothing like your reviews to drive me to maintain a high standard and give me the confidence to keep going, even when I think I'm bereft of ideas. I hope you;re good.
Mike
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Thanks dear friend. Am god---hope you too! Back soon. love, rd
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Mike, this is just fantastic. I have read all of it, although this is the only review I've written. The six stars are for the whole thing. What a talent you have, my friend. Your rhyme, rhythm and cadence are splendid. The whole work pulls the reader along, mental pictures from your clever descriptions flitting through the brain as they go.
Wonderful, wonderful work.
Hugs
Kat
PS Sorry I couldn't review all chapters, I've been really poorly with heart problems for over a month and I tire so easily. x
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Mike, this is just fantastic. I have read all of it, although this is the only review I've written. The six stars are for the whole thing. What a talent you have, my friend. Your rhyme, rhythm and cadence are splendid. The whole work pulls the reader along, mental pictures from your clever descriptions flitting through the brain as they go.
Wonderful, wonderful work.
Hugs
Kat
PS Sorry I couldn't review all chapters, I've been really poorly with heart problems for over a month and I tire so easily. x
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Kat, thank you so much for reading through the series, and for your fantastic comments. I do hope you perk up soon, and that being unwell has not quelled your spirit. You have my best wishes.
Mike
Comment from openmictime
I have never read anything on fan story as vivid as your piece here. I write very often and am often kept awake at night in pursuit of that quite time, and when I find it, my type writer finds me. But it's there in those lonely hours that gave development to my "craft" a wretched realism in the world I acknowledge in realism; I do not read fiction. Thank you. I would like to read you over and over again.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I have never read anything on fan story as vivid as your piece here. I write very often and am often kept awake at night in pursuit of that quite time, and when I find it, my type writer finds me. But it's there in those lonely hours that gave development to my "craft" a wretched realism in the world I acknowledge in realism; I do not read fiction. Thank you. I would like to read you over and over again.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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You pay me the most amazing of compliments. I am so glad you enjoyed this piece so much, and that you plugged in to that writer's flavour, the bitter tones of a lexicological spice that's simultaneously terribly bitter and utterly enthralling. That's what gives birth to all our best children, and this is one that's grown up steadily across ten chapters, of which I am proud :-)
All of which pretentious rambling means, "thank you for your awesome review and inspirational comments on my work and the craft we're ruled by."
Mike :-)
Comment from carolm5415
Wow. What else can I say. This is so powerful and it just grabbed me by my hair and dragged me along to the end. You hve penned a fantastic poem.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Wow. What else can I say. This is so powerful and it just grabbed me by my hair and dragged me along to the end. You hve penned a fantastic poem.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Carol. I now have the image of my poem as a caveman, dragging his women home of an evening! Thank you for a wonderful review :-)
Mike