Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Chapter 8; part 1"Can love survive small town gossip?
65 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
chapter nineteen is a wonderful read. You're doing an excellent job writing Joe and Sara relating to each other since her daughter, Cassie disappeared. I hope nothing bad happens to her, God forbid the creep who took her lays a finger on her. You did a very good job showing Sara's turmoil along with Joe's. I just adore Joe. I wish God would send me a Joe. The art work of Nancy's you used is gorgeous. Joe going into Sara's bedroom to help her relax was so sweet. Sara blames herself for Cassie disappearing. This was telling what you wrote: "While Cassie was abducted, we made love." I hope she's not having regrets. I could feel her guilt. You are expert at putting emotions in your dialogue and in your internal dialogue. I was moved when Joe promised Sara he'd bring her daughter back. I look forward to reading your next chapter. On the home front, my friend, I hope you computer gets fixed and you get your glasses soon. When it rains it pours, if you know what I mean. They say bad luck comes in groups of threes and I believe it. I'm praying for you to feel better with you health and I send a thought to the computer gods to fix your computer issues. Have a lovely day.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
chapter nineteen is a wonderful read. You're doing an excellent job writing Joe and Sara relating to each other since her daughter, Cassie disappeared. I hope nothing bad happens to her, God forbid the creep who took her lays a finger on her. You did a very good job showing Sara's turmoil along with Joe's. I just adore Joe. I wish God would send me a Joe. The art work of Nancy's you used is gorgeous. Joe going into Sara's bedroom to help her relax was so sweet. Sara blames herself for Cassie disappearing. This was telling what you wrote: "While Cassie was abducted, we made love." I hope she's not having regrets. I could feel her guilt. You are expert at putting emotions in your dialogue and in your internal dialogue. I was moved when Joe promised Sara he'd bring her daughter back. I look forward to reading your next chapter. On the home front, my friend, I hope you computer gets fixed and you get your glasses soon. When it rains it pours, if you know what I mean. They say bad luck comes in groups of threes and I believe it. I'm praying for you to feel better with you health and I send a thought to the computer gods to fix your computer issues. Have a lovely day.
Melissa.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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I was behind writing my reviews for your book chapter, Cassandra's and Empire76. All three of you gals did chapters yesterday. I follow tons of authors books. I'm surprised I don't get them mixed up, but I have an excellent memory. I'm glad Donna won the chapter of the month. I voted for her.
Melissa.
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So am I. You are a good writer yourself.
Comment from Connie P
This is an emotionally charged chapter and very well done. I'm on pins and needles waiting for Cassie to be found. The feelings Joe has for Sara are very well conveyed. I am trying to picture you in front of a new laptop writing with your sunglasses on ... praying for patience is risky business LOL, God has His own way of teaching!
Connie
PS I'm at the beach, squinting through the wonderful glare of the sun, so I didn't review for spag, there is probably not any, I just wanted to enjoy the chapter!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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This is an emotionally charged chapter and very well done. I'm on pins and needles waiting for Cassie to be found. The feelings Joe has for Sara are very well conveyed. I am trying to picture you in front of a new laptop writing with your sunglasses on ... praying for patience is risky business LOL, God has His own way of teaching!
Connie
PS I'm at the beach, squinting through the wonderful glare of the sun, so I didn't review for spag, there is probably not any, I just wanted to enjoy the chapter!
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I am glad you enjoyed the chapter. I should be at the beach enjoying the sunshine. I already have the sunglasses on.
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Yes you should. It was a wonderful long weekend, but back to life now.
Connie
Comment from pickthorn
I enjoyed reading this chapter. I can feel the tenseness of the situation, the way you have written it. I hope that Joe can find Cassie soon, so they can relax and stop feeling guilty. Looking forward to the next chapter.
pickthorn
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I enjoyed reading this chapter. I can feel the tenseness of the situation, the way you have written it. I hope that Joe can find Cassie soon, so they can relax and stop feeling guilty. Looking forward to the next chapter.
pickthorn
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
I'm sure Joe is only telling Sara Cassie's kidnap has nothing to do with them meeting, he may be in a state of denial too. the guilt must be killing them.
When he rolled over to check the time, it was twenty-five minutes later than his last check.
You have two mentions of checks here. I don't know whether he was looking at a clock but maybe something like this -
He rolled over and looked at the clock. Twenty- five minutes had passed since his last check.
While waiting for coffee to perk, Joe checked on
Sara.
There's a big space after "on" - formatting problem.
This is the first night ever we've been apart."
This could be a difference in the way we speak but I find "...first night we've ever been apart" sounds more natural, a reshuffling of "ever".
Will the job I loved cost me the woman I love.
Will the job I LOVE cost me the woman I love?
The first "love" should not be in past tense unless you're saying that Joe no longer loves his job.
I've always been partial to blue."
I love to paint - it's relaxing to paint clear wall space but I hate the walls by the staircase! Great idea for a project.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I'm sure Joe is only telling Sara Cassie's kidnap has nothing to do with them meeting, he may be in a state of denial too. the guilt must be killing them.
When he rolled over to check the time, it was twenty-five minutes later than his last check.
You have two mentions of checks here. I don't know whether he was looking at a clock but maybe something like this -
He rolled over and looked at the clock. Twenty- five minutes had passed since his last check.
While waiting for coffee to perk, Joe checked on
Sara.
There's a big space after "on" - formatting problem.
This is the first night ever we've been apart."
This could be a difference in the way we speak but I find "...first night we've ever been apart" sounds more natural, a reshuffling of "ever".
Will the job I loved cost me the woman I love.
Will the job I LOVE cost me the woman I love?
The first "love" should not be in past tense unless you're saying that Joe no longer loves his job.
I've always been partial to blue."
I love to paint - it's relaxing to paint clear wall space but I hate the walls by the staircase! Great idea for a project.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I will make those corrections.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A great read, Barbara - and
so the tension builds -
Sara watched Joe place[d] the - lose "d"
The label says its
..........says it's
Margaret
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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A great read, Barbara - and
so the tension builds -
Sara watched Joe place[d] the - lose "d"
The label says its
..........says it's
Margaret
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for catching those errors. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Dear Barbara:
This new chapter is GREAT!! I specially liked how you work the descriptive scheme and the dialogues, in the other hand, I only can say that you have to take it easy... My God!... Working with a new machine, broken glasses, sounds like this is too much for just one person...
My prayers and blessing for you, dear friend,
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Dear Barbara:
This new chapter is GREAT!! I specially liked how you work the descriptive scheme and the dialogues, in the other hand, I only can say that you have to take it easy... My God!... Working with a new machine, broken glasses, sounds like this is too much for just one person...
My prayers and blessing for you, dear friend,
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dmjones
I hope they hurry and find Cassie soon and it looks like they have a good chance now that they have the lisence plate number. If it wasn't stolen. A really good chapter. I didn't see any spag. I really liked the ending on this with a little touch of humor in a tense situation.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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I hope they hurry and find Cassie soon and it looks like they have a good chance now that they have the lisence plate number. If it wasn't stolen. A really good chapter. I didn't see any spag. I really liked the ending on this with a little touch of humor in a tense situation.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from misscookie
This is very interesting story, it if filled with so many kind emotions. there is no way room for a dull moment , with all the mystery you put a humor in it which I like very much....But what going on with you, is a story by it self. hang in there gal.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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This is very interesting story, it if filled with so many kind emotions. there is no way room for a dull moment , with all the mystery you put a humor in it which I like very much....But what going on with you, is a story by it self. hang in there gal.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support. I appreciate both.
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
If I had 6 stars left, it would be your's. A wonderful chapter
So sad that Cassie's mom feels guilty about her kidnapping. thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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If I had 6 stars left, it would be your's. A wonderful chapter
So sad that Cassie's mom feels guilty about her kidnapping. thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. The virtual 6 stars is enough for me.
Comment from L.lora
A most enjoyable addition
to your storyline. Plenty
of suspence and one on one
human contact that makes
this spark.minor suggestion="This is the first night [ever=move this word to after the we've] we've been apart."
typo="Sara watched [as] Joe placed the scented candles"
The plot developement moves
the reader right along and
leaves one wanting more. Looking
forward to your next post...You
did real good for a lady with
shades and a laptop... *smile* Lora
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
|
A most enjoyable addition
to your storyline. Plenty
of suspence and one on one
human contact that makes
this spark.minor suggestion="This is the first night [ever=move this word to after the we've] we've been apart."
typo="Sara watched [as] Joe placed the scented candles"
The plot developement moves
the reader right along and
leaves one wanting more. Looking
forward to your next post...You
did real good for a lady with
shades and a laptop... *smile* Lora
Comment Written 10-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and catching those errors.
