I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Seven Shades of Inspiration"A collection of crowns of sonnets
62 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
First and foremost, I'm not allowed to give you the sixer this so rightfully deserves, and secondly, are you out of your mind?? A crown with the requirements of this particular contest! I am soooooo impressed with your brilliance, Mike. Tell Naomi, "Jude says I'm brilliant" Ha
Every word choice, every sonnet, the theme and execution ... it's all BRILL!! Standing ovation right here in my den in Maine, USA!!! WOW (sorry about the sixer)
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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First and foremost, I'm not allowed to give you the sixer this so rightfully deserves, and secondly, are you out of your mind?? A crown with the requirements of this particular contest! I am soooooo impressed with your brilliance, Mike. Tell Naomi, "Jude says I'm brilliant" Ha
Every word choice, every sonnet, the theme and execution ... it's all BRILL!! Standing ovation right here in my den in Maine, USA!!! WOW (sorry about the sixer)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Ah, JJ, sixers are awesome, but reviews like this are priceless. You remind me why I put all the effort in when one or two have sought to deflate me (jackpeg's review really upset me this morning). I was so pleased with how this one came out; saying exactly what I wanted to, and giving me the opportunity to air some brilliant words to help express my feelings.
I shall have to remind Naomi of how brilliant her husband is when I get home this evening! If my profile pic changes to a shot of me with a black eye, you'll know what happened, lol :-)
Mike
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Oh yeah, about your profile pic. Is that in hopes that we can see your brilliant brain? It didn't work! lol Your quirkiness mixed with smarts, ROCKS my friend.
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Jack was off the wall ... jealous I say! Your retort was perfection!
Comment from laren
A great poem, written with intelligence which tell us about characteristics of poetry, inspiration and metaphors. I wish my English would be better to express my admiration.
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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A great poem, written with intelligence which tell us about characteristics of poetry, inspiration and metaphors. I wish my English would be better to express my admiration.
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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I think your English is just fine, Laren, and you've understood the meaning perfectly, which is more than can be said for some sour readers whose English is supposedly excellent. Thank you so much for your lovely comments :-)
Mike
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Thank you, I understand almost everything, but language structures are so different. It is eassier to read than to write.
Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed reading your work.
Best wishes,
Laren
Comment from bhogg
Mike - you are one creative dude! I looked at sonnets one time, and said, "naw, too restrictive." Well it didn't slow you down. Loved the opening, the use of powerful words, imagery and the end. Well done, Bill
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Mike - you are one creative dude! I looked at sonnets one time, and said, "naw, too restrictive." Well it didn't slow you down. Loved the opening, the use of powerful words, imagery and the end. Well done, Bill
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks, Bill. I used to think any poetic form restricted me, but I have to admit I've warmed to the challenge of seeing what can be done within a framework. I still love writing free verse too, though! So glad you enjoyed it, my friend :-)
Mike
Comment from sizemore0409
Awesome, Mike! "A crown of sonnets' --- a daunting task to take on! But not only did you take it on, you also accomplished it with mind-blowing skill and perspicacity! Incredible, dude! :-) Andy
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Awesome, Mike! "A crown of sonnets' --- a daunting task to take on! But not only did you take it on, you also accomplished it with mind-blowing skill and perspicacity! Incredible, dude! :-) Andy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thanks, Andy - I'm so glad you enjoyed it, mate. One reviewer has accused me of wearing out my Thesaurus in an attempt to impress teenagers with words I don't understand, but I think he was just jealous! Thanks for the awesome comment, my friend.
Mike
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Writing this must have taken a lot of effort, my friend. I commend your mastery over words as demonstrated in this work. Beautiful rhymes. So much ado about words. kudos!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Writing this must have taken a lot of effort, my friend. I commend your mastery over words as demonstrated in this work. Beautiful rhymes. So much ado about words. kudos!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Thank you :-). I love playing with words, and this contest was the perfect excuse. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment from SkyBluePink
Holy cow!
I did enjoy this, because it will force me to either find or buy a new dictionary, or........I will print this out, and look up all the words I do not know! :)
I enjoyed this. I really did!
I didn't know there were so many words in one read that I didn't know, plus, it all, somehow made perfect sense to me!
Figure that out. Maybe because I'm female and can use both sides of my brain with ease? I don't know.
I do know that this is a fantastic read, and I do thank you for sharing it with us!
DO KEEP WRITING!
:)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Holy cow!
I did enjoy this, because it will force me to either find or buy a new dictionary, or........I will print this out, and look up all the words I do not know! :)
I enjoyed this. I really did!
I didn't know there were so many words in one read that I didn't know, plus, it all, somehow made perfect sense to me!
Figure that out. Maybe because I'm female and can use both sides of my brain with ease? I don't know.
I do know that this is a fantastic read, and I do thank you for sharing it with us!
DO KEEP WRITING!
:)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Thank you so much :-). I love discovering new words and I'm always happy to look up unfamiliar words, so it's great to hear from someone with a similar outlook.
I guess sense and logic are not always the same tjing, so perhaps poetry can impart its meaning through art even when there are gaps in the words.
... or maybe I'm just giving myself airs, lol :-)
Thanks for the great review.
Mike
Comment from missy98writer
feedleflump,
your poem is thought pondering and very well written. Excellent rhyming quatraints, great narrative and very good use of metpahors. I thought your art work is funky. I enjoyed the third stanza the best: "Sometimes the word 'betrayal' springs to mind to barricade a foot inside the door of inspiration's benefits, designed to see the muse bamboozled and abhorred." Your poem is an excellent entry in the writing prompt contest. I wish your good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing your poetic art and have a great day.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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feedleflump,
your poem is thought pondering and very well written. Excellent rhyming quatraints, great narrative and very good use of metpahors. I thought your art work is funky. I enjoyed the third stanza the best: "Sometimes the word 'betrayal' springs to mind to barricade a foot inside the door of inspiration's benefits, designed to see the muse bamboozled and abhorred." Your poem is an excellent entry in the writing prompt contest. I wish your good luck in the contest. Thanks for sharing your poetic art and have a great day.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Missy :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed reading through my somewhat protracted piece. It was extremely interesting to write.
Mike
Comment from Twomoon
Wow, Mike, this deserves 2 sixes, the intensity of the write, and the deepness that held the dictionary by the hand as you walked it through its purpose, just blew me away.Each verse is beautifully executed. I love wordsmiths! This is one of my favorites:
until the end of terminality;
inevitable destination's dark
existence for a personality
Romantic beauty is your herbal tea... I LOVE THIS LINE!! Well, enjoy your day and continue to play amongst the beauty of our divine language and all it has to offer us in the ways to develop our expression into an outward personality! much love twomoon
once earmarked for the pinnacle of spark
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Wow, Mike, this deserves 2 sixes, the intensity of the write, and the deepness that held the dictionary by the hand as you walked it through its purpose, just blew me away.Each verse is beautifully executed. I love wordsmiths! This is one of my favorites:
until the end of terminality;
inevitable destination's dark
existence for a personality
Romantic beauty is your herbal tea... I LOVE THIS LINE!! Well, enjoy your day and continue to play amongst the beauty of our divine language and all it has to offer us in the ways to develop our expression into an outward personality! much love twomoon
once earmarked for the pinnacle of spark
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Twomoon :-). I was worried this might leave people cold, but I knew anyone who loves words as much as I do would at least be entertained. I'm thrilled by your wonderful response!
Mike
Comment from Akarva
Seven shades of inspiration is a poem that is inspiring indeed and I agree with the author that writers are both a blessing and a curse certain times though I feel we are a talented lot and can be what we want depending on our writings.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Seven shades of inspiration is a poem that is inspiring indeed and I agree with the author that writers are both a blessing and a curse certain times though I feel we are a talented lot and can be what we want depending on our writings.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Thank you. Absolutely, we are in control of our own development, but the drivers that push and hold us are our own, and hugely varied. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from rama devi
WOW! Extremely impressive work dear Mike. A crown of sonnets is no joke to write and you have done so with superb intellect, style and word choices. Flawless meter and excellent rhyming, too.
Love the title!
Observations of favorite aspects-
A dictionary isn't poetry (excellent opening)
but avaricious minds live by the words
spewed forth in lengthy lexicology; (excellent alliteration and verb choice)
the perspicacity of the absurd. (LOL! Love the word choices here too)
They clamour with industrious aplomb (Superb phrasing- made me chuckle)
for phrases that will raise attentive glee, (superb internal near rhyme with phrases and raise--attentive glee--what a fabulous phrase!)
vocabulary's intellectual bomb (LOVE THIS LINE LOL)
exploding with applause's verity. (STROKE OF GENIUS LINE!)
Sometimes the word 'betrayal' springs to mind (Superb 'TURN')
to barricade a foot inside the door (Superb alliteration between line 1 & 2)
of inspiration's benefits, designed
to see the muse bamboozled and abhorred. (What an amazing phrase! excellent word choices and continuation of B alliteration, too. Love the slant rhyme pair door and abhorred)
It's then that monosyllables will reign; (Brilliant line)
the effervescent muse never abstains. (witty line. Nice near rhyme)
*
The effervescent muse never abstains;
instead it innovates to seize the day, (nice alliteration)
unhindered by the moribund cold rain (not entirely certain of scansion in this line. Wroth a double check on the stresses in moribund. I am not sure how it is pronounced. Also, consider adding an 's' on rain so it is a more pure rhyme with abstains -and if you do, then remember to remove the 's' from dampens in next line))
that dampens appetites and spreads dismay. (superb alliteration of D and consonance of S)
When desolation rules the atmosphere,
derogatory words will denigrate
our restless souls' demonstrable dark fears
with detrimental rants for anger's sake,
(Superb alliteration of D in above stanza as well as consonance of S. Also, i like the near rhyme of denigrate and sake---sounds good read aloud)
but jocularity defies the draw
of desperate depression in our hearts, (superb phrasing and continuance of alliteration on D and consonance of S)
reminding us the future's still in store,
with all the ramollescence that imparts. (what a great word! and alliteration on R, too)
It's then, within our fortresses of light, (LOVE THIS IMAGE)
a humorous approach can grant insight. (YES)
*
A humorous approach can grant insight
by poking at the sanity of life
until unravelled laughter shines a light
and threads the darn repairing undue strife
Excellent stanza with fine alliteration and consonance of L linking lines two and three. Superb metaphor and a good original application of the cliched rhyme of life and strife, making it totally poetically palatable...not an easy accomplishment...bravo!)
with yarn spun out from possibilities (nice image/phrasing)
and needles sharp as sly shenanigans. (Witty line!)
The silly witticism grants us ease, (love this line and the consonance of S as well)
a pun is ammunition for our guns. (LOL!!!! Sure is! and internal rhyme well done.)
We duel naysayers dogging at our heels (Superb line, though i thought duel is two syllables, i may be wrong and it may be both one or two...so no need to change.)
denouncing our unmitigated joy,
but just occasionally they strike our wheels; (good image)
a vulnerability they can destroy. (potent phrase)
When levity's bombarded from the sky,
sometimes the Katharos can pass us by.
Outstanding couplet--unique and impressive.
*
Sometimes the Katharos can pass us by,
depositing our conscience in a pit, (excellent consonance of P)
extolling all the privilege denied (nice near rhyme and continuance of P sounds)
us lowly ones denied all benefit
until the end of terminality;
inevitable destination's dark
existence for a personality
once earmarked for the pinnacle of spark.
(In above stanza-Excellent internal rhyming and alliteration of D as well as subtle consonance and assonance).
Intolerable as these thoughts may seem,
a force exists to demonstrate the hope
of family and dreams of great esteem;
the strength we venerate to help us cope.
(A perfectly composed stanza with fine internal rhyming--good turn in tone)
When navigating in your nadir's lee, (WOW_-what an original, imaginative phrase)
romantic beauty is your herbal tea. (GENIUS!)
*
Romantic beauty is your herbal tea;
a bolstering tisane to fight the cold,
the gift of shared responsibility,
the path to replication for the bold!
(Superb stanza)
We postulate in one another's stew,
pontificate on saturation's bliss
and paint the walls in our emulsion's hue;
reality is spectrum's armistice.
Genius stanza-you really amaze me! The meaning, the crafting are outstanding. love the rhyme pairs--so inventive. Love the alliteration and consonance of P in every line as well as continuance of S sounds - but beyond the crafting, the insight and meaning is profoundly perceptive and well voiced))
In colours multitudinous sublime
we sear towards our destiny as one;
aligned, designed, delineated time
will line up our pathology begun
Another genius stanza! (breathless now...n)
as spirits both chaotic and in love,
so randomly we tease what's up above.
What a brilliant, witty couplet. Chaotic and in love---LOL!
*
So randomly we tease what's up above,
enrapt by our psychoses wrapped in text; (ROTFL!!!!)
our minds create cocoons, protective gloves (LOL!)
and freedom flirts at anarchy's behest (Superb! WOW!)
so soon majestic carpets are our mounts,
wove from the mythical our minds create (Love the alliteration of M but am not sure about WOVE - sounds like woven would be more fitting (though not fitting in meter, i know) WIll allow poetic license here of course, but it is the only line i stumble slightly on. Everything else is so superb this line pales because of that)
and fuelled by poetry of grand word count; (LOL--like this one!)
the generating urge we're called to sate.
Lost in our consciousness, utopia,
its palpable arrangement boldly penned, (superb phrasing)
unfolds in rainbow's synaesthesia (great word but it is it in the dictionary -- I will check - but you might include this one in your authors note's glossary)
and we're divinity, our will amend, (shouldn't amend have an 's' on it? Amends?)
for every stroke of quill emancipates
anthropomorphic presences of state.
Powerful closing couplet. WOW>
*
Anthropomorphic presences of state
preside within palatial fantasy,
unhinging all the physics we relate
to living in our false reality.
WOW--in meaning and form this is awesome! Excellent alliteration of P in first three lines and consonance fo L in last three lines.
And so the 'they' are lost to history,
become the fated 'we' of destiny.
Through strata of perception's mystery
our muse's destination's enemy
A brainteaser stanza with excellent composition and interesting, unusual rhyming.
is myriad distractions referenced here;
by definition, inspiration's death
becomes pretentious trappings we all fear,
philosophy of wordplay halting breath.
Superb stanza on every level.. the P's and D' and T's combine into almost musical melodies.
Absurdist perspicacity can see;
a dictionary isn't poetry.
ROTFL
Love th irony in this genius write.
You've got my vote.
Wish i had a six for you, dear friend.
Thanks for this witty journey.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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WOW! Extremely impressive work dear Mike. A crown of sonnets is no joke to write and you have done so with superb intellect, style and word choices. Flawless meter and excellent rhyming, too.
Love the title!
Observations of favorite aspects-
A dictionary isn't poetry (excellent opening)
but avaricious minds live by the words
spewed forth in lengthy lexicology; (excellent alliteration and verb choice)
the perspicacity of the absurd. (LOL! Love the word choices here too)
They clamour with industrious aplomb (Superb phrasing- made me chuckle)
for phrases that will raise attentive glee, (superb internal near rhyme with phrases and raise--attentive glee--what a fabulous phrase!)
vocabulary's intellectual bomb (LOVE THIS LINE LOL)
exploding with applause's verity. (STROKE OF GENIUS LINE!)
Sometimes the word 'betrayal' springs to mind (Superb 'TURN')
to barricade a foot inside the door (Superb alliteration between line 1 & 2)
of inspiration's benefits, designed
to see the muse bamboozled and abhorred. (What an amazing phrase! excellent word choices and continuation of B alliteration, too. Love the slant rhyme pair door and abhorred)
It's then that monosyllables will reign; (Brilliant line)
the effervescent muse never abstains. (witty line. Nice near rhyme)
*
The effervescent muse never abstains;
instead it innovates to seize the day, (nice alliteration)
unhindered by the moribund cold rain (not entirely certain of scansion in this line. Wroth a double check on the stresses in moribund. I am not sure how it is pronounced. Also, consider adding an 's' on rain so it is a more pure rhyme with abstains -and if you do, then remember to remove the 's' from dampens in next line))
that dampens appetites and spreads dismay. (superb alliteration of D and consonance of S)
When desolation rules the atmosphere,
derogatory words will denigrate
our restless souls' demonstrable dark fears
with detrimental rants for anger's sake,
(Superb alliteration of D in above stanza as well as consonance of S. Also, i like the near rhyme of denigrate and sake---sounds good read aloud)
but jocularity defies the draw
of desperate depression in our hearts, (superb phrasing and continuance of alliteration on D and consonance of S)
reminding us the future's still in store,
with all the ramollescence that imparts. (what a great word! and alliteration on R, too)
It's then, within our fortresses of light, (LOVE THIS IMAGE)
a humorous approach can grant insight. (YES)
*
A humorous approach can grant insight
by poking at the sanity of life
until unravelled laughter shines a light
and threads the darn repairing undue strife
Excellent stanza with fine alliteration and consonance of L linking lines two and three. Superb metaphor and a good original application of the cliched rhyme of life and strife, making it totally poetically palatable...not an easy accomplishment...bravo!)
with yarn spun out from possibilities (nice image/phrasing)
and needles sharp as sly shenanigans. (Witty line!)
The silly witticism grants us ease, (love this line and the consonance of S as well)
a pun is ammunition for our guns. (LOL!!!! Sure is! and internal rhyme well done.)
We duel naysayers dogging at our heels (Superb line, though i thought duel is two syllables, i may be wrong and it may be both one or two...so no need to change.)
denouncing our unmitigated joy,
but just occasionally they strike our wheels; (good image)
a vulnerability they can destroy. (potent phrase)
When levity's bombarded from the sky,
sometimes the Katharos can pass us by.
Outstanding couplet--unique and impressive.
*
Sometimes the Katharos can pass us by,
depositing our conscience in a pit, (excellent consonance of P)
extolling all the privilege denied (nice near rhyme and continuance of P sounds)
us lowly ones denied all benefit
until the end of terminality;
inevitable destination's dark
existence for a personality
once earmarked for the pinnacle of spark.
(In above stanza-Excellent internal rhyming and alliteration of D as well as subtle consonance and assonance).
Intolerable as these thoughts may seem,
a force exists to demonstrate the hope
of family and dreams of great esteem;
the strength we venerate to help us cope.
(A perfectly composed stanza with fine internal rhyming--good turn in tone)
When navigating in your nadir's lee, (WOW_-what an original, imaginative phrase)
romantic beauty is your herbal tea. (GENIUS!)
*
Romantic beauty is your herbal tea;
a bolstering tisane to fight the cold,
the gift of shared responsibility,
the path to replication for the bold!
(Superb stanza)
We postulate in one another's stew,
pontificate on saturation's bliss
and paint the walls in our emulsion's hue;
reality is spectrum's armistice.
Genius stanza-you really amaze me! The meaning, the crafting are outstanding. love the rhyme pairs--so inventive. Love the alliteration and consonance of P in every line as well as continuance of S sounds - but beyond the crafting, the insight and meaning is profoundly perceptive and well voiced))
In colours multitudinous sublime
we sear towards our destiny as one;
aligned, designed, delineated time
will line up our pathology begun
Another genius stanza! (breathless now...n)
as spirits both chaotic and in love,
so randomly we tease what's up above.
What a brilliant, witty couplet. Chaotic and in love---LOL!
*
So randomly we tease what's up above,
enrapt by our psychoses wrapped in text; (ROTFL!!!!)
our minds create cocoons, protective gloves (LOL!)
and freedom flirts at anarchy's behest (Superb! WOW!)
so soon majestic carpets are our mounts,
wove from the mythical our minds create (Love the alliteration of M but am not sure about WOVE - sounds like woven would be more fitting (though not fitting in meter, i know) WIll allow poetic license here of course, but it is the only line i stumble slightly on. Everything else is so superb this line pales because of that)
and fuelled by poetry of grand word count; (LOL--like this one!)
the generating urge we're called to sate.
Lost in our consciousness, utopia,
its palpable arrangement boldly penned, (superb phrasing)
unfolds in rainbow's synaesthesia (great word but it is it in the dictionary -- I will check - but you might include this one in your authors note's glossary)
and we're divinity, our will amend, (shouldn't amend have an 's' on it? Amends?)
for every stroke of quill emancipates
anthropomorphic presences of state.
Powerful closing couplet. WOW>
*
Anthropomorphic presences of state
preside within palatial fantasy,
unhinging all the physics we relate
to living in our false reality.
WOW--in meaning and form this is awesome! Excellent alliteration of P in first three lines and consonance fo L in last three lines.
And so the 'they' are lost to history,
become the fated 'we' of destiny.
Through strata of perception's mystery
our muse's destination's enemy
A brainteaser stanza with excellent composition and interesting, unusual rhyming.
is myriad distractions referenced here;
by definition, inspiration's death
becomes pretentious trappings we all fear,
philosophy of wordplay halting breath.
Superb stanza on every level.. the P's and D' and T's combine into almost musical melodies.
Absurdist perspicacity can see;
a dictionary isn't poetry.
ROTFL
Love th irony in this genius write.
You've got my vote.
Wish i had a six for you, dear friend.
Thanks for this witty journey.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2011
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Ah, my friend, you truly know how to grab my head and hurl it up onto cloud nine when you like my work :-).
You have an uncanny knack for pointing out the exact lines I'm both pleased with and unsure about. I only had time for the most perfunctory of edits before posting this due to the deadline, so I will certainlt be ironing out those creases that remain.
Synaesthesia - the visualisation of sound and other senses in swathes of colour, as often experienced by the blind. I shall add that one to the notes, as you suggest!
It's a real thrill to get a review from someone who actually plugged into the philosophical thoughts I was trying to express as well as the form and mechanics.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and indeed, thank you :-)
Mike
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*huge glowing smiles* - Thanks for your lovely reply. you are most welcome. ;-) Warmly, r d