Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Part 2 Chapter 5"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
84 total reviews
Comment from Music Bob
Hi,
Once again this is a very well written chapter. The charachters are very lifelike and believable. As usual the storyline flows very well and interest is held from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Hi,
Once again this is a very well written chapter. The charachters are very lifelike and believable. As usual the storyline flows very well and interest is held from beginning to end.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Troy a near empty plate (Near an empty plate). Those are some really sad statistics. This is well written and thank you for continuing to address this issue that so many want to pretend doesn't happen~Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Troy a near empty plate (Near an empty plate). Those are some really sad statistics. This is well written and thank you for continuing to address this issue that so many want to pretend doesn't happen~Debbie
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I will check that area out.
Comment from Writingfundimension
This is an extremely well-written chapter, B. You continue to flesh out the main characters and provide small, homey details into their personalities. Great job, Bev
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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This is an extremely well-written chapter, B. You continue to flesh out the main characters and provide small, homey details into their personalities. Great job, Bev
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are most welcome!
Comment from bhogg
Paul's Mom reminded me of my wife, with those eyes in the back of her head. With me though, it's that extra beer, not cookies. I enjoyed your post. As usual, very professional, well edited and wonderfully smooth flow. Bill
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Paul's Mom reminded me of my wife, with those eyes in the back of her head. With me though, it's that extra beer, not cookies. I enjoyed your post. As usual, very professional, well edited and wonderfully smooth flow. Bill
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from volcomfury
Excellent writing, and your prose is outstanding. I have read several of the other chapters, and this one is on par. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Excellent writing, and your prose is outstanding. I have read several of the other chapters, and this one is on par. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
Now the whole family is involved in Anna's case - Troy, his parents, now his aunt. I think the mum is savvy, maybe because she's a woman she knows where Anna would go, to a battered women shelter. Hopefully they can track her down with the sketch though I suspect the shelter will have some confidentiality rules.
I think her dad slightly softened toward her.
This is dialogue so maybe it's the way he speaks but I would say - softened slightly towards her.
A reshuffling of word placement.
"Only one cookie, dear," called a female voice from another room.
I love this "eyes behind her back" statement so common among wives and mothers. Men just need watching all the time! =D
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Now the whole family is involved in Anna's case - Troy, his parents, now his aunt. I think the mum is savvy, maybe because she's a woman she knows where Anna would go, to a battered women shelter. Hopefully they can track her down with the sketch though I suspect the shelter will have some confidentiality rules.
I think her dad slightly softened toward her.
This is dialogue so maybe it's the way he speaks but I would say - softened slightly towards her.
A reshuffling of word placement.
"Only one cookie, dear," called a female voice from another room.
I love this "eyes behind her back" statement so common among wives and mothers. Men just need watching all the time! =D
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Yes, men need watching all the time. Thank you for the kind review. I take care of that dialogue.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Good work winding up the work done so far to locate Anna. Now it's time to regroup. Steaks and cookies got me to thinking about dinner tonight! Anyway, good write and an enjoyable read. Look forward to the continuation. billy
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Good work winding up the work done so far to locate Anna. Now it's time to regroup. Steaks and cookies got me to thinking about dinner tonight! Anyway, good write and an enjoyable read. Look forward to the continuation. billy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from tango494
What a sad story and from the looks of the date you supplied at the end of your narrative it happens all to often. I love how well your plot flows and the emotions and characters are very believable. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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What a sad story and from the looks of the date you supplied at the end of your narrative it happens all to often. I love how well your plot flows and the emotions and characters are very believable. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
Your story is moving along nicely, it is cleverly written and very believable. I enjoyed reading it and it held my attention throughout.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Your story is moving along nicely, it is cleverly written and very believable. I enjoyed reading it and it held my attention throughout.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dmjones
Very good chapter. Troy's relationship (loving)with his parents really shines through. And I like how you give us insight into his parents through action especially the mother. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Very good chapter. Troy's relationship (loving)with his parents really shines through. And I like how you give us insight into his parents through action especially the mother. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review and support.