Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Part two, Chapter 15"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
Well i'm rooting for anna and troy... thanks again for letting people know the consequences of the victim until they can find a way to leave... the more information out there... yours, diana
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Well i'm rooting for anna and troy... thanks again for letting people know the consequences of the victim until they can find a way to leave... the more information out there... yours, diana
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JW
This is another good chapter and is very well written. The only thing I wondered about was Anna's sensitively to loud mufflers since it was mentioned numerous times.
Overall, good job. JW
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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This is another good chapter and is very well written. The only thing I wondered about was Anna's sensitively to loud mufflers since it was mentioned numerous times.
Overall, good job. JW
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Bobby owned a truck with a loud muffler. It was mentioned in the first chapter and it will become important as the story ends.
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gerry.Robertson
To write of such a despicable act as domestic abuse is not an easy thing to do, you are to be applauded for doing so.
To start over takes all of one's strengths to do so, I hope this ends, how shell I say... realistically. Will endeavour to read more
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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To write of such a despicable act as domestic abuse is not an easy thing to do, you are to be applauded for doing so.
To start over takes all of one's strengths to do so, I hope this ends, how shell I say... realistically. Will endeavour to read more
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Penny 4 your thought
the story is moving along fine. you might want to touch a little more deeply on what Anna or Troy are thinking or feeling about this whole situation. tho draw in the readers emotions. to give your reader an investment in the story,
all in all a solid five
Penny 4 your thought
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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the story is moving along fine. you might want to touch a little more deeply on what Anna or Troy are thinking or feeling about this whole situation. tho draw in the readers emotions. to give your reader an investment in the story,
all in all a solid five
Penny 4 your thought
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from oNray
This is my second read of your story and I get a little upset as it brings back some bad memories. Long story short my mother, older sister and myself add a real rough first seven years
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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This is my second read of your story and I get a little upset as it brings back some bad memories. Long story short my mother, older sister and myself add a real rough first seven years
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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I am very sorry for your family. Thank you for reading.
Comment from HPicasso
Another great chapter in your romance book. This is about Anna is able to make decisions about where to eat and then asks Troy to kiss her. She has decided on where she wants the painting and she's willing to leave Michael in someone else's care. Great artwork. Congratulation!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Another great chapter in your romance book. This is about Anna is able to make decisions about where to eat and then asks Troy to kiss her. She has decided on where she wants the painting and she's willing to leave Michael in someone else's care. Great artwork. Congratulation!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from stanzasandstuff
Loved this chapter, especially the ending when I began wondering why he didn't kiss her automatically. Is he trustworthy? mmm As a former victim of domestic violence, I can relate to the difficulty that Anna has when making choices. My instinct tells me that Troy also is not a good choice for Anna! Well written and no SPAGS that I can see.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Loved this chapter, especially the ending when I began wondering why he didn't kiss her automatically. Is he trustworthy? mmm As a former victim of domestic violence, I can relate to the difficulty that Anna has when making choices. My instinct tells me that Troy also is not a good choice for Anna! Well written and no SPAGS that I can see.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. We will have to wait and see about Troy.
Comment from LisaMartino
Wonderful writing. Good pace. Kept my interest. I do have a couple of suggestions.
"She does do good work." This was a bit awkward to read for me. Maybe just, "She does good work."
"Aunt Margaret and she will just watch him all day." Maybe take a look at this sentence. The flow of reading would work better if you can restructure this.
Great job!
Lisa
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Wonderful writing. Good pace. Kept my interest. I do have a couple of suggestions.
"She does do good work." This was a bit awkward to read for me. Maybe just, "She does good work."
"Aunt Margaret and she will just watch him all day." Maybe take a look at this sentence. The flow of reading would work better if you can restructure this.
Great job!
Lisa
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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I iwll make thos corrections. Thank you for the suggestions and kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
The dialogues in this chapter are good, and your characters seem to have settled into a pattern. One suggestions, you open with -
Early Sunday morning, Anna took a bite of toast. "Yesterday, we only got the laundry done and that's not put away.
I suggest that the "Early Sunday morning ..." is superfluous. You could start by saying, "At the breakfast table, Anna bit into her toast just as the local church began it's recorded bells. "Yesterday we got ..."
It 'paints' a scene rather than 'tells' it ...
Patrick
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Hi Barbara,
The dialogues in this chapter are good, and your characters seem to have settled into a pattern. One suggestions, you open with -
Early Sunday morning, Anna took a bite of toast. "Yesterday, we only got the laundry done and that's not put away.
I suggest that the "Early Sunday morning ..." is superfluous. You could start by saying, "At the breakfast table, Anna bit into her toast just as the local church began it's recorded bells. "Yesterday we got ..."
It 'paints' a scene rather than 'tells' it ...
Patrick
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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I like it much better, thank you for the help and the kind review.
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My pleasure, glad to help.
Patrick
Comment from Allison78
When I get some extra time I'm going to have to go back and start reading from the beginning but so far I've found the chapters I've read to be great stand alone works that I've realy enjoyed reading. Wonderful job on this chapter!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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When I get some extra time I'm going to have to go back and start reading from the beginning but so far I've found the chapters I've read to be great stand alone works that I've realy enjoyed reading. Wonderful job on this chapter!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.