Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Yusice Moon"Murder Mystery
44 total reviews
Comment from Maureen's Pen
OMG, I hope I don't have nightmares tonight. I think I was breathing heavy at the end of this post. Creepy, evil, and talk about keeping the reader on the end of her seat.
I would have preferred to hide behind a cushion but then I couldn't read it:D
I was too freaked to find spag....that Entity wow....Ok keep em with you, I shall count sheep tonight!!
Thanks for scaring the daylights out of me.
Maureen
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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OMG, I hope I don't have nightmares tonight. I think I was breathing heavy at the end of this post. Creepy, evil, and talk about keeping the reader on the end of her seat.
I would have preferred to hide behind a cushion but then I couldn't read it:D
I was too freaked to find spag....that Entity wow....Ok keep em with you, I shall count sheep tonight!!
Thanks for scaring the daylights out of me.
Maureen
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Dear Maureen. Thank you for this awesome, generous review. I sure appreciate your support, my friend.
Sorry to freak you out ... and I feel I must tell you there's more to come!
Love ya, Bev
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Oh my don't tell me that it's dark here.... oh no I'm not very good with scary stuff. I may need to get a strong firefighter to keep me safe.:D
And lots of chocolate too.LOL
Hugs
Maureen
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hehehehe ... I don't have a firefighter, but I do have rather nervy squirrels and dark chocolate LOL. XXooXX Bev
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Yikes, keep the squirrels I have more than enough of those pesty critters. LOL
xxx
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Yes, it appears you do -- love your website! XoXo Bev
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Thanks Bev, it needs updating :D
Love ya
Maureen
xxx
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Hi I enjoyed your story it has a well descriptive explanation And is well displayed the story needs no change . It kept my interest to the end . A most enjoyable story. Mary
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi I enjoyed your story it has a well descriptive explanation And is well displayed the story needs no change . It kept my interest to the end . A most enjoyable story. Mary
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, Mary Ann. Thank you for taking time to read my chapter, and for your generous review. I sure appreciate it! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Love this at the start:
the percussive love calls of crickets, reminiscent of a native drum beat, the pepper-sharp smell of fall leaves, and the distinct spice of apples split apart by foragers.
similar to a face through a lens just before you get the camera into focus. After he started to speak, the phenomenon disappeared, but an uneasiness lingered. - Great description. And quite intriguing if not a little disturbing.
He fell back in (the? his?) chair, gripping (h)is head in agony.
Wow. That was quite a battle. What the heck is this evil?
Okay, Bev. That's quite the finish. VERY mysterious. And VERY creepy.
And you say I write evil well? Take a bow, my friend. This evil entity of yours gave me goose bumps.
Excellent post.
Love Av
xx
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Love this at the start:
the percussive love calls of crickets, reminiscent of a native drum beat, the pepper-sharp smell of fall leaves, and the distinct spice of apples split apart by foragers.
similar to a face through a lens just before you get the camera into focus. After he started to speak, the phenomenon disappeared, but an uneasiness lingered. - Great description. And quite intriguing if not a little disturbing.
He fell back in (the? his?) chair, gripping (h)is head in agony.
Wow. That was quite a battle. What the heck is this evil?
Okay, Bev. That's quite the finish. VERY mysterious. And VERY creepy.
And you say I write evil well? Take a bow, my friend. This evil entity of yours gave me goose bumps.
Excellent post.
Love Av
xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Dear, Av. Thank you so much for this awesome and lovely review. I am so honored by your words of support! Jana, Tony and Father Brian have their work cut out, as they say. More creepiness to come. So thankful you're out there reading and helping me, Av. Love ya, Bev
Comment from Healthyheartpoet
A murderer on the loose, there is urgency in the air as detective burke must find whoever it is that's doing this. Uncle Tony is experiencing an odd kind of negative energy, that causes him some agony and pain. The victim has been smothered with a pillow. Anticipation and suspense is building and holding the readers attention. What next?
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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A murderer on the loose, there is urgency in the air as detective burke must find whoever it is that's doing this. Uncle Tony is experiencing an odd kind of negative energy, that causes him some agony and pain. The victim has been smothered with a pillow. Anticipation and suspense is building and holding the readers attention. What next?
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, HHP. Thank you so much for your very supportive review. There's lots to come! I appreciate your generosity and insights. Warmest regards, Bev
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you are welcome Bev. I have a new posting up for review entitled 'brink of death' you will enjoy this. thanks
Comment from judiverse
Thanks for sending chills up and down my spine. The diary entry at the end of this section was really spooky. It sounds as if supernatural forces are at work. Jana's tribal elder uncle hears a strange noise and the dimming lights and strange sensations he experiences seem other-worldly. Jana has her curiosity aroused by Father Brian, just an instinctive feeling she gets from the look on his face. She is very thoughtful and doesn't like to take chances. Because she and the sheriff are dedicated to getting to the bottom of things, the mystery will surely be solved. Excellent, and deserving 6 stars! judi
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Thanks for sending chills up and down my spine. The diary entry at the end of this section was really spooky. It sounds as if supernatural forces are at work. Jana's tribal elder uncle hears a strange noise and the dimming lights and strange sensations he experiences seem other-worldly. Jana has her curiosity aroused by Father Brian, just an instinctive feeling she gets from the look on his face. She is very thoughtful and doesn't like to take chances. Because she and the sheriff are dedicated to getting to the bottom of things, the mystery will surely be solved. Excellent, and deserving 6 stars! judi
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, judi. Hehehehe, you're very welcome. Not only is your review generous, but it has your trademark perceptive ability to know exactly what my characters are thinking!! I love that. You're support is so apprecited, my friend. Hugs, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. I'm keeping my eye on Jana. She really interests me with her Native American background. judi
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Yes, I like her, too, judi. We'll see what the future holds for her. Bev
Comment from Taffspride
A well written piece that has captured my imagination and curiosity. I need to go back and read the beginning chapters.
Here are a couple of suggestions for a couple typos I noticed.
the garage and rest of the house. {might want to say the rest of the house, it would flow better]
Jana's uncle gestured towards the stove."There's [needs a space between stove and "]
I am looking forward to reading more of this story.
Iechyd da (Cheers)
Taffspride
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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A well written piece that has captured my imagination and curiosity. I need to go back and read the beginning chapters.
Here are a couple of suggestions for a couple typos I noticed.
the garage and rest of the house. {might want to say the rest of the house, it would flow better]
Jana's uncle gestured towards the stove."There's [needs a space between stove and "]
I am looking forward to reading more of this story.
Iechyd da (Cheers)
Taffspride
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, Taffspride. Thank you for your excellent suggestions and review. I really appreciate you taking time to read my chapter and offer your insights. Hope to hear from you again sometime. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did a great job writing this chapter where the elder receives a message from the gods. i enjoyed reading this one..
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did a great job writing this chapter where the elder receives a message from the gods. i enjoyed reading this one..
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, sweet. First, thank you for following my story so faithfully. I know you have lots of fans and others to review, so I really do appreciate your time. Your generosity means a lot to me! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Bev, what can I say. Your writing is superb and I love the way you turn the tension up quite a few notches with this chapter. The diary entry points to the priest but I think you are just conning me. Must be some other person which I'm overlooking. Well written. I thoroughly enjoyed. luv jada
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi Bev, what can I say. Your writing is superb and I love the way you turn the tension up quite a few notches with this chapter. The diary entry points to the priest but I think you are just conning me. Must be some other person which I'm overlooking. Well written. I thoroughly enjoyed. luv jada
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, Jada. Thank you, my lovely friend, for this awesome review! I so appreciate your kind words of support and your generosity. Hugs, Bev
Comment from God's Writer
An awesome story little one. You kept me on the edge of my seat almost not being able to breath. Such professionalism. I would love to see this story go on. it would make a great thriller. You made it feel as if was riding home with Jenna.
Great job Mrs. Twain. Thank you for the privilege of reading this awesome story.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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An awesome story little one. You kept me on the edge of my seat almost not being able to breath. Such professionalism. I would love to see this story go on. it would make a great thriller. You made it feel as if was riding home with Jenna.
Great job Mrs. Twain. Thank you for the privilege of reading this awesome story.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Hi, Erick. Wow, this review is just so darned generous. Your words of support mean a great deal to me, I hope you know! Thank you for choosing to read and for your encouragement. Hugs, Bev
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Thank you for the very needed hug. My wife wants a divorce and my heart is again in threads. I may need to cry on your shoulder and talk I trust our mind little one. Let me know your answer? OK
Comment from kad175
Well done. Good story. I only found two things that I would question. One is the "either" at the end of the following sentence. What does it refer to? Did I miss something? There were no signs of sexual trauma, either.
The sentence break and the word "For" stopped me in this sentence. her dreams. For she was certain that Debra Padget's
Really good writing. Story is interesting and holds one's interest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Well done. Good story. I only found two things that I would question. One is the "either" at the end of the following sentence. What does it refer to? Did I miss something? There were no signs of sexual trauma, either.
The sentence break and the word "For" stopped me in this sentence. her dreams. For she was certain that Debra Padget's
Really good writing. Story is interesting and holds one's interest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2012
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Thanks, kad. I really appreciate your insights. You make two very good points, and I will go back to trim up. So appreciate your time and interest! Warmest regards, Bev