The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Lost Angel"Love Among the Thorns
49 total reviews
Comment from zanya
A love story set in a time of more rigid mores- does the poor marry the rich and live happily ever after? So far in this cameo they don't. But who knows. What a delight- Nathan besotted with his new love on'sweet lips' 'her scent deep inside of him'.Dad Wainwrght is not impressed with love's young dream and forbid any further contact.
Nathan - is he foolish? 1907 setting, before the first World War-Texas.The story paints a quaint picture of the time'horses hoofs'.'Butterfly teased the children'- bordering on idyllic except for the harsh reality therein of putting money before dreams.Local dialect 'mix of ya' gives wonderful colour to the writing.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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A love story set in a time of more rigid mores- does the poor marry the rich and live happily ever after? So far in this cameo they don't. But who knows. What a delight- Nathan besotted with his new love on'sweet lips' 'her scent deep inside of him'.Dad Wainwrght is not impressed with love's young dream and forbid any further contact.
Nathan - is he foolish? 1907 setting, before the first World War-Texas.The story paints a quaint picture of the time'horses hoofs'.'Butterfly teased the children'- bordering on idyllic except for the harsh reality therein of putting money before dreams.Local dialect 'mix of ya' gives wonderful colour to the writing.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you zany for giving a fine review of this story.
Comment from emjaihammond
What a beautifully exquisite addition to this story. Love unrequited. I bet we haven't heard the end of this couple though. I enjoy getting to know your characters better each time I read, as they grow more intimate with each reading. I enjoy this story.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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What a beautifully exquisite addition to this story. Love unrequited. I bet we haven't heard the end of this couple though. I enjoy getting to know your characters better each time I read, as they grow more intimate with each reading. I enjoy this story.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for keep up with this story. I really appreciate you.
Comment from Sanku
it was not very long and i enjoyed it .the storu progressed naturally and the dialogues are realistic. i am out of six so here is another six .i hope to read your next post .
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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it was not very long and i enjoyed it .the storu progressed naturally and the dialogues are realistic. i am out of six so here is another six .i hope to read your next post .
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you sanku. Hope you are able to keep up with the chapters.
Comment from Curly Girly
This was quite a long read. I like this part:
"'Your' mind is made up? I'm sorry, Mr. Wainwright, but this is 1907 and young people make up their own minds. You can't decide who people can or cannot love. Nobody thinks that way anymore."
One suggestion:
"Yes. He threatened to cut her off from the family if she married him and she did.
"Yes. He threatened to cut her off from the family if she married him and [he] did.
Is Nathan studying to be a Doctor or a Veterinarian?
Veterinarians require a degree and they do become 'doctors,' but are usually referred to as vets or veterinarians.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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This was quite a long read. I like this part:
"'Your' mind is made up? I'm sorry, Mr. Wainwright, but this is 1907 and young people make up their own minds. You can't decide who people can or cannot love. Nobody thinks that way anymore."
One suggestion:
"Yes. He threatened to cut her off from the family if she married him and she did.
"Yes. He threatened to cut her off from the family if she married him and [he] did.
Is Nathan studying to be a Doctor or a Veterinarian?
Veterinarians require a degree and they do become 'doctors,' but are usually referred to as vets or veterinarians.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you for this question. I did do research and simple farmers didn't use the word vets too much. They called them animal doctors.
And I'll read over the he did, she did also.
Comment from Jade Lawson
Really enjoyable and again, it kept my interest from beginning till the end and would read more. It has excellent descriptions and the dialogue flow really well. Elements of the forbidden love is explicit and I liked the way you explored it thoroughly the chapter. Margaret family and wealth, comfort are wining over her feelings, lets see if she will continue to think the same way.
"I don't deserve you, she whispered."
Perhaps it should be: "I don't deserve you," she whispered.
This was the only small thing I found, but you are doing a fantastic job. Loved it.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Really enjoyable and again, it kept my interest from beginning till the end and would read more. It has excellent descriptions and the dialogue flow really well. Elements of the forbidden love is explicit and I liked the way you explored it thoroughly the chapter. Margaret family and wealth, comfort are wining over her feelings, lets see if she will continue to think the same way.
"I don't deserve you, she whispered."
Perhaps it should be: "I don't deserve you," she whispered.
This was the only small thing I found, but you are doing a fantastic job. Loved it.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much. I made the correction.
Comment from dennis0530
The love-venture continues.
Now Dr. Nate is in the midst of conflicting emotions. He is getting caught in the maelstrom and the roller-coaster results of his actions.
Margaret on the other hand has to make a hard choice. Stay the sweet life or sacrifice it for love?
I'll be watching out and follow the fortunes of these two.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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The love-venture continues.
Now Dr. Nate is in the midst of conflicting emotions. He is getting caught in the maelstrom and the roller-coaster results of his actions.
Margaret on the other hand has to make a hard choice. Stay the sweet life or sacrifice it for love?
I'll be watching out and follow the fortunes of these two.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where nathan is ordered to stay away from margaret. she visits with him but lets him know she won't defy her family stopping them from marrying
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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this is very well written, amahra, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where nathan is ordered to stay away from margaret. she visits with him but lets him know she won't defy her family stopping them from marrying
Comment Written 06-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2013
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Thank you for stopping by and reading and reviewing.
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Very well written and the content was impeccably recorded. The chapter moved at a good pace yet still applied great attention to detail. You are certainly heading in the right direction for a great novel. I, in the back of my head, figured Margaret would be the spoiled little lady, but I was surprised that she so readily admitted it. What a great loss of future happiness. Keep writing, Carolyn
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Very well written and the content was impeccably recorded. The chapter moved at a good pace yet still applied great attention to detail. You are certainly heading in the right direction for a great novel. I, in the back of my head, figured Margaret would be the spoiled little lady, but I was surprised that she so readily admitted it. What a great loss of future happiness. Keep writing, Carolyn
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Carolyn for this thorough review. I hope you will enjoy each chapter.
Comment from adewpearl
lovely descriptive detail like the stars were the sparkles in her dress
Good night, Mrs. Koren - add comma for direct address
I don't know what you mean, sir - add comma
Good day, Daniels - add comma
Excellent dialogue that conveys intense emotion
Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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lovely descriptive detail like the stars were the sparkles in her dress
Good night, Mrs. Koren - add comma for direct address
I don't know what you mean, sir - add comma
Good day, Daniels - add comma
Excellent dialogue that conveys intense emotion
Brooke
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you. Don't know how I missed those. I'll fix them them right away. I'm glad you liked the dialogue.
Comment from mikenbel
The writing is really good. In paragraph 29 from the very top - the scripture is "Matthew" without the "s".
P36 You can combine "Yooohooo!"
P37 "y'all" instead of "yawl"
P41 "discuss" instead of "disgust"
P49 delete the apostrophe after "wouldn't"
P51/L1 "...driver turned ONTO the path..."
P57/L2 space between the hyphen and "steer" and "six"
P89 quotes at the beginning of the line
P90 delete the apostrophe after "couldn't"
P100 "clenching" instead of "clinching"
P104/L3 colon after "read"
P108/L2 space between the hyphen and "Creek" and "a"
P116/L2 "...shook her head until her dark HAIR FLOWED IN WAVES PAST her shoulders."
P143/L1 "steeped" instead of "steep"
In paragraph 137 and 138 capitalize "aunt".
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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The writing is really good. In paragraph 29 from the very top - the scripture is "Matthew" without the "s".
P36 You can combine "Yooohooo!"
P37 "y'all" instead of "yawl"
P41 "discuss" instead of "disgust"
P49 delete the apostrophe after "wouldn't"
P51/L1 "...driver turned ONTO the path..."
P57/L2 space between the hyphen and "steer" and "six"
P89 quotes at the beginning of the line
P90 delete the apostrophe after "couldn't"
P100 "clenching" instead of "clinching"
P104/L3 colon after "read"
P108/L2 space between the hyphen and "Creek" and "a"
P116/L2 "...shook her head until her dark HAIR FLOWED IN WAVES PAST her shoulders."
P143/L1 "steeped" instead of "steep"
In paragraph 137 and 138 capitalize "aunt".
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you my dear. I'll take care of these right away.
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:)