Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Iktomi Moon"Murder Mystery
47 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
I could have done with more, regardless of the intensity of this chapter - it's brilliantly done, and a powerful description of the horror Eddie, possessed, is experiencing. This is one write, my dear sis, I know I would have an extremely difficult time trying to write, if not impossible, and yet, it is my favorite! Simply OUTSTANDING.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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I could have done with more, regardless of the intensity of this chapter - it's brilliantly done, and a powerful description of the horror Eddie, possessed, is experiencing. This is one write, my dear sis, I know I would have an extremely difficult time trying to write, if not impossible, and yet, it is my favorite! Simply OUTSTANDING.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Dawn, thank you so much. I had about reached the limit of my ability to pull more creative adjectives from my cranium LOL.
Thanks so much for this oustandingly generous and encouraging review. It was difficult to write and your words make it all worth while.
Love, Bev
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You are most welcome - my pleasure - I love good horror, Bev.
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:0) xxx
Comment from lindalcreel
Powerful; that's the word I would use to describe this chapter. I wonder if Eddie will ever see the errors of his ways or if he will be demonized for all eternity. This one gave me goosebumps, but I couldn't stop reading. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Great writing. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Powerful; that's the word I would use to describe this chapter. I wonder if Eddie will ever see the errors of his ways or if he will be demonized for all eternity. This one gave me goosebumps, but I couldn't stop reading. This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Great writing. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Hi, lindalcreel. Thank you so much for this very generous and encouraging review. It was a difficult chapter to write, so the support is much appreciated. Warm regards, Bev
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This was great Bev. Keep writing :)
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Aw, that's so sweet. :0)
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I meant every word.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Bev,
This is the most haunting chapter yet as you took me into the mind of a madman. The demons who terrorized him were unrelenting, and his thoughts of his murdered and mutilated mother kept a vigil in his mind. We now know who raped and murdered Fritz Buell. Eddie's mind is tormented, and he can't sleep.
If I can't sleep tonight, you know who I'm going to blame, don't you.
Following are several things you may with to consider:
Sleeping pills gave him two, maybe three hours of sleep before the demon came each night with a brand(-)new way to torture him.
The nightmares proved the omnisc(i)ence of 'Master'.
His torso was slick with sweat(,) and a full bladder screamed for relief.
From a cabinet drawer(,) he retrieved a satin-sheathed, curved blade used for animal sacrifices.
Eddie stroked it[']s shiny surface(,) until it vibrated with power.
He slit the tip of the lump near his pubis(,) and it receded.
In quick succession(,) the remaining mounds were incised.
I hope you find this helpful.
Curtis
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Bev,
This is the most haunting chapter yet as you took me into the mind of a madman. The demons who terrorized him were unrelenting, and his thoughts of his murdered and mutilated mother kept a vigil in his mind. We now know who raped and murdered Fritz Buell. Eddie's mind is tormented, and he can't sleep.
If I can't sleep tonight, you know who I'm going to blame, don't you.
Following are several things you may with to consider:
Sleeping pills gave him two, maybe three hours of sleep before the demon came each night with a brand(-)new way to torture him.
The nightmares proved the omnisc(i)ence of 'Master'.
His torso was slick with sweat(,) and a full bladder screamed for relief.
From a cabinet drawer(,) he retrieved a satin-sheathed, curved blade used for animal sacrifices.
Eddie stroked it[']s shiny surface(,) until it vibrated with power.
He slit the tip of the lump near his pubis(,) and it receded.
In quick succession(,) the remaining mounds were incised.
I hope you find this helpful.
Curtis
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Hi, Curtis. Thank you much for the detailed and very helpful review. I appreciate the encouragement and support. Kind regards, Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Phew, our Eddie is a troubled soul! I got chills minutes into the read. Superb horror feel, Bev. So strong. It reaches out and just throttles the reader!
A couple of little typos:
The nightmares proved the omnisc(i)ence of 'Master'.
A contemp(tu)ous whisper confirmed the message carved into his chest:
M E U S. "Mine, complete and forever." Oh, wow. I'm pretty much beyond words.
A remarkable post. You do this genre incredibly well. I'm honestly in awe of how well you execute a scene.
This would make a great film, my friend.
Standing O from this corner!
Love Av
xx
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Phew, our Eddie is a troubled soul! I got chills minutes into the read. Superb horror feel, Bev. So strong. It reaches out and just throttles the reader!
A couple of little typos:
The nightmares proved the omnisc(i)ence of 'Master'.
A contemp(tu)ous whisper confirmed the message carved into his chest:
M E U S. "Mine, complete and forever." Oh, wow. I'm pretty much beyond words.
A remarkable post. You do this genre incredibly well. I'm honestly in awe of how well you execute a scene.
This would make a great film, my friend.
Standing O from this corner!
Love Av
xx
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Aw, thanks so much, Av. I am so appreciative of your awesomely generous review. And I will make those changes pronto. Your words of encouragement mean more than I can possibly say. Love, Bev
Comment from PhysioRuss
I missed the warnings before I started reading and was surprised at the content. Very well written, graphic detail and description but I guess I am immune to disturbing after many years of dipping in and out of this genre. Enough here to interest me and make me look for more though.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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I missed the warnings before I started reading and was surprised at the content. Very well written, graphic detail and description but I guess I am immune to disturbing after many years of dipping in and out of this genre. Enough here to interest me and make me look for more though.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Hi, PhysioRuss. Thanks a bunch for taking time to read and send along your generous review. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
I see we are allowed an insight of the killer's mind. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an excellent read. Good job.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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I see we are allowed an insight of the killer's mind. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an excellent read. Good job.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Charlie, so good to hear from you. Can I assume you are making good progress after your procedure?
Thanks for your generous and supportive review.
:0) Bev
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Seeing a moon over my shoulder was an excellent aid to healing. Recovery is slow but steady, Bev. Charlie
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Aw, so sweet, charlie. I'm glad to read that things are proceeding in a positive direction. :0)
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The pain factor is virtually non-existence.
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I've found that really helps with the desire to be mobile. That's great news, charlie.
Comment from Rondeno
This would make an awesome movie. As it is, Bev, it's a book of sheer brilliance. You give Eddie nightmares which are genuinely terrifying (not the stock, unimaginative stuff most "novelist" come up with) and - even better - there are reasons for his visions, buried guilt gnawing at him.
It's wonderful!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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This would make an awesome movie. As it is, Bev, it's a book of sheer brilliance. You give Eddie nightmares which are genuinely terrifying (not the stock, unimaginative stuff most "novelist" come up with) and - even better - there are reasons for his visions, buried guilt gnawing at him.
It's wonderful!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much, Michael. I'm really honored by your praise and enthusiasm. You sure put a big smile on my face, my lovely friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from judiverse
This is spooky stuff. If a force is strong enough to work on the killer Eddie, that's really powerful. Eddie is tormented by dreams of his past deeds. You have a great description of the demon in the shape of the terrifying spider. Apparently the demon can take on any shape, and it has control of Eddie. Last part is really scary, when Eddie finds the knife and has the message carved on his chest. "Mine, complete, and forever." Eddie really is taken over. Very compelling. judi
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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This is spooky stuff. If a force is strong enough to work on the killer Eddie, that's really powerful. Eddie is tormented by dreams of his past deeds. You have a great description of the demon in the shape of the terrifying spider. Apparently the demon can take on any shape, and it has control of Eddie. Last part is really scary, when Eddie finds the knife and has the message carved on his chest. "Mine, complete, and forever." Eddie really is taken over. Very compelling. judi
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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I'm moving away from Eddie for a while and back to the man who the story pivots around - Father Brian. Judi, thank you so much for hanging in for this story and for your generosity. This was a disturbing chapter to write and read. I really apprecate the support and encouragement.
Warmest regards, Bev
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Hi, Bev. You're so welcome. I suspect there's more to the Father Brian story than we know so far. judi
Comment from barkingdog
I guess I'm immuned to disturbing. It seems like you pulled your punches for the audience instead of writing with all of your knowledge and power.
I didn't realize he was possessed until you mentioned it in the notes. I thought he was halucinating--schizophrenic.
You mention demons, but not possession.
It's really well written but needs some clarification and filling out. Give it all you've got.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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I guess I'm immuned to disturbing. It seems like you pulled your punches for the audience instead of writing with all of your knowledge and power.
I didn't realize he was possessed until you mentioned it in the notes. I thought he was halucinating--schizophrenic.
You mention demons, but not possession.
It's really well written but needs some clarification and filling out. Give it all you've got.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Thanks, Ellen. There is actually a very fine line between true possession and schizophrenia. I've mentioned his possession in a previous chapter. And I do appreciate your observation it may have been 'tamed' down a little, but its about as creepy as I care to get at this point. Thanks for the review and stars, my friend. :0) Bev
Comment from Joy Graham
This is an excellent chapter, Bev. Thank tou for the story update. It sure helps when there is so much time between chapters that I forget how things connect. I love the way you write so descriptively. The visuals take the reader deep into the story with few words. The imagination can take over easily. I'm glad we have progressed to the stage where we are meeting the killer, finally. You are killing me with your suspense. I think you are a genius! I am learning a lot from your writing about the supernatural. I need to do some research for my own supernatural story to continue. Looking forward to the next chapter, my friend :)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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This is an excellent chapter, Bev. Thank tou for the story update. It sure helps when there is so much time between chapters that I forget how things connect. I love the way you write so descriptively. The visuals take the reader deep into the story with few words. The imagination can take over easily. I'm glad we have progressed to the stage where we are meeting the killer, finally. You are killing me with your suspense. I think you are a genius! I am learning a lot from your writing about the supernatural. I need to do some research for my own supernatural story to continue. Looking forward to the next chapter, my friend :)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2013
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Joy, thank you so much for this awesome review! I'm glad that you found the writing effective. Have you seen the movie the Conjuring? It's actually very good in my opinion. Well, the Warrens who are the demonologists in the movie and in real life have several very good books on the subject that I have recently purchased. I'd recommend them because they are generally considered to be the best non-clerical people in the 'business'. Ed has received a lot of flak over the years for scaring kids with his true accounts, but it's during the teen years that kids are especially prone to demonic influences. The ramifications can emerge years later as I've hoped to convey with this chapter.
Thanks, again. I'm totally thrilled with your support and generosity, my friend.
XX Bev