The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Sweet Springs, USA"Love Among the Thorns
39 total reviews
Comment from marijmd
I must have missed a chapter! I went from Nathan sleeping with her - right to suicide! Oh my I guess breaking the news did not go well at all. Poor thing - she always played 2nd fiddle to some woman in his life!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I must have missed a chapter! I went from Nathan sleeping with her - right to suicide! Oh my I guess breaking the news did not go well at all. Poor thing - she always played 2nd fiddle to some woman in his life!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for this review. But I don't think you misses a chapter. They made love as soon as he came home. But remember, she initiated it, not him. Although he could have refused.
Comment from barkingdog
I can't believe Eve jumped, but she had slept with him and thought their plans, though unspoken, were certain.
Great information on tick fever and how devastating it can be and the months of treatment.
Only question. Did Grace not write him at all during all those month? If not, that's terrible. If she loves him, she'd write. In fact, I'd probably show up at his door after a month. LOL She should support her man. He had proposed to her.(Of course we know that he cheated, but Grace wouldn't know that. She'd only know that a girl jumped to her death. I guess, Grace is working on assumptions. She probably put two and two together.)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I can't believe Eve jumped, but she had slept with him and thought their plans, though unspoken, were certain.
Great information on tick fever and how devastating it can be and the months of treatment.
Only question. Did Grace not write him at all during all those month? If not, that's terrible. If she loves him, she'd write. In fact, I'd probably show up at his door after a month. LOL She should support her man. He had proposed to her.(Of course we know that he cheated, but Grace wouldn't know that. She'd only know that a girl jumped to her death. I guess, Grace is working on assumptions. She probably put two and two together.)
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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LOL! You are so crazy and such a doll. I would love to write you into my story doing a steamy sex scene with Nathan.LOL
Grace is upset that Nate never told her he had someone waiting at home for him. Not until Eva jumped.
Thank you so much for liking this chapter an for the six stars.
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He's in the same situation that my character Peter's in. LOL I wonder if Nathan and Peter are twins separated at birth, but making the same choices.
I don't think I want to do anything steamy with Nathan or Peter. I'm hung up on Enoch, but he belongs to Evie. Sigh!
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LOL!
Comment from Curly Girly
This is a well written chapter. The description of Eva's body was fairly graphic and concise. The only part I'd change is this:
busted flesh.
To me that phrase sounds like American colloquial.
Suggest:
broken flesh
torn flesh
Or:
bruised flesh
An engaging chapter to read.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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This is a well written chapter. The description of Eva's body was fairly graphic and concise. The only part I'd change is this:
busted flesh.
To me that phrase sounds like American colloquial.
Suggest:
broken flesh
torn flesh
Or:
bruised flesh
An engaging chapter to read.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you curly for your review and for the suggestion.
Comment from nannabot
Hi, I'm dumbstruck by this fabulous chapter. My initial thought while reading it was that it would make a good TV drama. I never stumbled once. I like the way you just leapt straight into the story. The way you described the state of eva's broken body in gory detail, made me think it was gonna be a bit of a dark and bloody tail. But surprise, it turned out to be a traditional story. [Good trick there to pull the reader in.]but it worked. I think you're a very talented writer, and apart from a couple of [spell mistakes] found it perfectly executed thus well deserved the 6 stars. I especially like the following synonym:
"The sky was dark gray with clouds, and a fine rain beat like tiny pebbles against the roof."
"Then he watched her eyes turn to burning red coals, veins pop in her neck. She began throwing everything she could at him and asking him over and over...."
Here, you use colour red and fire to emphasise the image of her rage. Good plot line with a nice pleasant resolve. At first the town blamed Nate for Ava's demise, till he came through for the town folk and saved them from a total meat disaster, then he became their hero. Loved it,and thanks for sharing it. Good luck with this and all your work. Regards from nannabot xxx
[Spell check]= "gray" and "He threw a sharp 'stair' at Jim."
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Hi, I'm dumbstruck by this fabulous chapter. My initial thought while reading it was that it would make a good TV drama. I never stumbled once. I like the way you just leapt straight into the story. The way you described the state of eva's broken body in gory detail, made me think it was gonna be a bit of a dark and bloody tail. But surprise, it turned out to be a traditional story. [Good trick there to pull the reader in.]but it worked. I think you're a very talented writer, and apart from a couple of [spell mistakes] found it perfectly executed thus well deserved the 6 stars. I especially like the following synonym:
"The sky was dark gray with clouds, and a fine rain beat like tiny pebbles against the roof."
"Then he watched her eyes turn to burning red coals, veins pop in her neck. She began throwing everything she could at him and asking him over and over...."
Here, you use colour red and fire to emphasise the image of her rage. Good plot line with a nice pleasant resolve. At first the town blamed Nate for Ava's demise, till he came through for the town folk and saved them from a total meat disaster, then he became their hero. Loved it,and thanks for sharing it. Good luck with this and all your work. Regards from nannabot xxx
[Spell check]= "gray" and "He threw a sharp 'stair' at Jim."
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much nannabot for stopping by and reading my chapter. Writing is harder than most think and when you spend time and energy and someone like you appreciate the effort...it really means a lot. Thank you for the six stars and I will correct the mistakes, grey instead of gray and stare instead of stair.
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Hi, you're welcome. I meant every word I said. Its nice to read a story that has a tight plot, strong characters and a happy resolve. I forgot to mention too. Your dialogue is excellent. xxx
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Since I like weddings so much, this is an special chapter for me, with wonderful dialogues. Very nice story. I found the characters believable and the Author Notes very helpful. I'll be waiting for the second part of the story.
Good job Amahara!
:)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Since I like weddings so much, this is an special chapter for me, with wonderful dialogues. Very nice story. I found the characters believable and the Author Notes very helpful. I'll be waiting for the second part of the story.
Good job Amahara!
:)
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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You must be psychic, the wedding isn't until the next chapter I haven't written yet. LOL But thank you Auroraboreal800, I really appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from Tatarka2
I didn't expect to like this, since this isn't my favorite genre- but I did! Well-written and formatted; characters seemed real and relatable, and the plot is intriguing. I did catch a couple of misspellings and a couple of punctuation mistakes, but this is so minor compared to the compelling nature of the story.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I didn't expect to like this, since this isn't my favorite genre- but I did! Well-written and formatted; characters seemed real and relatable, and the plot is intriguing. I did catch a couple of misspellings and a couple of punctuation mistakes, but this is so minor compared to the compelling nature of the story.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much Tatarka2 for giving such a fine review. I really do appreciate it. Other reviewers have pointed some errors and I will correct them.
Comment from emrpoems
The ground contact reduced her buxom body to fragments of bone and busted flesh.Love this
He REMEMBEED how her eyes filled,TYPO
By 1907, the problem was squashed - or SO they thought. But every now and again, it raised its ugly head.....
peddler WHO was passing
Interesting development
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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The ground contact reduced her buxom body to fragments of bone and busted flesh.Love this
He REMEMBEED how her eyes filled,TYPO
By 1907, the problem was squashed - or SO they thought. But every now and again, it raised its ugly head.....
peddler WHO was passing
Interesting development
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story. I will make those changes except for the last one. That particular character does speak that way. 'Smile' But thank you for your eagle eyes. I really appreciate it.
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You're welcome
Comment from TOMORAL
I have come to know Sweet Springs as a town I would like to live in if I could. The story of Nathan, Eva, and Grace also intrigues, as I have not read any other chapters of this. I would love to read the book. Excellent writing here.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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I have come to know Sweet Springs as a town I would like to live in if I could. The story of Nathan, Eva, and Grace also intrigues, as I have not read any other chapters of this. I would love to read the book. Excellent writing here.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you Tomoral.
Comment from c_lucas
It used to be an old ploy. Cattle moving into Kansas were deliberately contaminated by sleazy ranchers infesting their herds with "sick" cows. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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It used to be an old ploy. Cattle moving into Kansas were deliberately contaminated by sleazy ranchers infesting their herds with "sick" cows. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you lucas.
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You're welcome, Amahra. Charlie