Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Elephant in the Room"A collection of poems on these themes
38 total reviews
Comment from kiwijenny
I guess we all get that affliction..pachyderm-ititus
My family are particularly good at it ..he sits on top of the carpet they shovel stuff under ...now I come to think of it that stuff is elephant poo
Well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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I guess we all get that affliction..pachyderm-ititus
My family are particularly good at it ..he sits on top of the carpet they shovel stuff under ...now I come to think of it that stuff is elephant poo
Well penned
God bless
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thanks, jenny.
Steve
Comment from DSMalott
Nice!
Very clever and poignant expression of the obvious that no one likes to talk about. Your free verse conversational style was very good and the last line conclusion brought a needed 'abruptness' that nailed down your point, with a gentle touch.
Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Nice!
Very clever and poignant expression of the obvious that no one likes to talk about. Your free verse conversational style was very good and the last line conclusion brought a needed 'abruptness' that nailed down your point, with a gentle touch.
Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thanks so much for the warm review and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from royowen
An excellent free verse, come prose rendering Steve. The narrative was hilarious, considering I've never seen a reference to this oft used colourful expression, certainly not in a poetic presentation! The language was descriptively clever and the ensuing distractions, would they be affective? Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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An excellent free verse, come prose rendering Steve. The narrative was hilarious, considering I've never seen a reference to this oft used colourful expression, certainly not in a poetic presentation! The language was descriptively clever and the ensuing distractions, would they be affective? Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thanks, Roy.
Steve
Comment from MissMerri
An amazing free verse poem, with a most unexpected yet heart-grabbing ending. I thought this was so cleverly done, the way it began, almost whimsical and a bit humorous, as you described the elephant. The metaphor is so delicate and unobtrusive, and the unimportant conversation inserted in just the right place, adds a stunning contrast to the final two lines. This is just really over-the-top wonderful in its creative genius. Everything about it is extraordinary.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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An amazing free verse poem, with a most unexpected yet heart-grabbing ending. I thought this was so cleverly done, the way it began, almost whimsical and a bit humorous, as you described the elephant. The metaphor is so delicate and unobtrusive, and the unimportant conversation inserted in just the right place, adds a stunning contrast to the final two lines. This is just really over-the-top wonderful in its creative genius. Everything about it is extraordinary.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Oh, that is high praise indeed and very welcome. I am extremely lacking in confidence in writing free verse and reviews for this have been varied - some readers obviously don't get it - so much so that I have to believe they never read the last line...
Anyway, this tells me that I did achieve what I set out to do, so thank you!
Steve
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I do suspect some reviewers are scanning a piece, just enough to collect the money and then on to the next one. Poetry deserves a careful reading and even repeat readings, in many cases. This was a truly wonderful piece. You do free verse very well.
Comment from donastell20
Another creative and clever poetical piece from you. I found it most enjoyable to read as it flowed nicely.
You have great imagination.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Another creative and clever poetical piece from you. I found it most enjoyable to read as it flowed nicely.
You have great imagination.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That's a pretty big elephant. When Jim was dying we didn't speak of it, although we thought about it constantly every day. What do you say? We lived by the minute, hour, day up to the end, pretending he would get better. Yep. It's a big elephant and one you don't want to talk about. Not ever! Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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That's a pretty big elephant. When Jim was dying we didn't speak of it, although we thought about it constantly every day. What do you say? We lived by the minute, hour, day up to the end, pretending he would get better. Yep. It's a big elephant and one you don't want to talk about. Not ever! Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Nancy, thanks so much for the thoughtful review.
Steve
Comment from dmt1967
I hope this is just a poem, if not, I am sorry for your pain. I was going to say Woolworth has gone out of business, but that last line knocked me for six. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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I hope this is just a poem, if not, I am sorry for your pain. I was going to say Woolworth has gone out of business, but that last line knocked me for six. Thank you for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thanks for the kind words. Woolworths under various guises still goes on here.
My mother died in 2011. This relates to my last visit with her, three months before her death - I travelled from Australia to see her. There were very few outward signs of illness, but we both knew it would be the last time we would see each other. neither of us mentioned her illness and yes, I distinctly remember discussing the price of bananas.
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely fascinating and brilliantly written. The last line really pulls it all together. Terrific work with this one. I enjoyed it very much.
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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This is absolutely fascinating and brilliantly written. The last line really pulls it all together. Terrific work with this one. I enjoyed it very much.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015
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Thanks, sasha - glad you enjoyed.
Steve