The Gobbledegooks
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Figberry Folly's Fiesta of Fun"Children's Fantasy Poems
72 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
this is a brilliant entry for the kids' poetry writing prompt! the language is like nonsense but delivers such a punch that you cannot but admire your text.
thank you for sharing! this should do well.
good luck in the contest!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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this is a brilliant entry for the kids' poetry writing prompt! the language is like nonsense but delivers such a punch that you cannot but admire your text.
thank you for sharing! this should do well.
good luck in the contest!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Rebekka - no luck in the contest, however!
Steve
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Steve,
This is a real lesson in alliteration, metre and rhyme as well as being far enough out to engage with the kiddies. Should do well in the comp..
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Dear Steve,
This is a real lesson in alliteration, metre and rhyme as well as being far enough out to engage with the kiddies. Should do well in the comp..
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Reg
Thought I was on a winner here, but second place was my lot this time...
Steve
Comment from Glasstruth
Wow! This has such a great sound. Sounds awesome read aloud, that is if you can do it without getting tongue-tied. The alliteration and the names you give is what really makes this poem really special. On top of that, it rhymes and magnificently too. Awesome write!!!! Les
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Wow! This has such a great sound. Sounds awesome read aloud, that is if you can do it without getting tongue-tied. The alliteration and the names you give is what really makes this poem really special. On top of that, it rhymes and magnificently too. Awesome write!!!! Les
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Les, thanks for the kind review and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
This prompt was made for you and Adewpearl.
But, Brooke can't match your sense of the ridiculous. I suspect that you wrote poetry to share with kids when you were a teacher as there's a naturalness about how you create these fantasmagorical collections of crazy things.
Your versifying is in good form with wonderful rhymes and rhythms, but it's the collection of alliterative wonders and crazy named characters that excite. The poem zips along as you read it off the page, so much so, that it's easy to miss all the fun. I loved the werewolves of the good kind (yeah!), Bumblebrum Berry, her Fairy best friend, and those credentials from the market, Sell 'Spells for Beginners' and 'Cauldron Essentials'. You string together wonderful arrays of verbs that zing:With a whizz and a fizz and a fuss and a frazzle; and nouns that rouse the reader:There is shouting and boasting and laughter and cheers.
A really skilfully piece of writing which I admired and enjoyed a great deal.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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This prompt was made for you and Adewpearl.
But, Brooke can't match your sense of the ridiculous. I suspect that you wrote poetry to share with kids when you were a teacher as there's a naturalness about how you create these fantasmagorical collections of crazy things.
Your versifying is in good form with wonderful rhymes and rhythms, but it's the collection of alliterative wonders and crazy named characters that excite. The poem zips along as you read it off the page, so much so, that it's easy to miss all the fun. I loved the werewolves of the good kind (yeah!), Bumblebrum Berry, her Fairy best friend, and those credentials from the market, Sell 'Spells for Beginners' and 'Cauldron Essentials'. You string together wonderful arrays of verbs that zing:With a whizz and a fizz and a fuss and a frazzle; and nouns that rouse the reader:There is shouting and boasting and laughter and cheers.
A really skilfully piece of writing which I admired and enjoyed a great deal.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Mark, thanks so much for the thoughtful review and the six stars of course.
Yes, I enjoy creating these wordplays, but no, it's not really something I did as a teacher - this poetry thing is all quite new to me...
Didn't quite get this one over the finish line in first place - couldn't compete with Brussel sprout jam!
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of rhyming couplets
great use of abundant alliteration
fun coined words
good internal rhymes like in blizzards of wizards
wonderful array of fanciful characters
love the with a whizz and a fizz passage
several excellent entries into this creative contest, but you sure have to be one of the top choices :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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solid use of rhyming couplets
great use of abundant alliteration
fun coined words
good internal rhymes like in blizzards of wizards
wonderful array of fanciful characters
love the with a whizz and a fizz passage
several excellent entries into this creative contest, but you sure have to be one of the top choices :-) Brooke
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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brooke, thanks so much for the excellent review and the six stars.
Couldn't quite manage to snatch the prize from Ray's Brussels Sprout Jam - what a lovely thought...
Steve
Comment from Nosha17
Creatively written children's poem. What a lot of characters and with super names. You could maybe use the witch and fairy characters and have them go off on an adventure somewhere. Excellent rhyming and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Creatively written children's poem. What a lot of characters and with super names. You could maybe use the witch and fairy characters and have them go off on an adventure somewhere. Excellent rhyming and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2015
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Thanks, Faye.
There are actually four Gobbledegooks poems now - I've just created a 'book' so they're all together now.
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Ah, well we are all kids at heart and I'll bet everybody loves this one. Mind you, my tongue is aching, and how you come up with these phantasmagorical words astounds me! You have wonderful rhyming... Outstanding! Giddy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Ah, well we are all kids at heart and I'll bet everybody loves this one. Mind you, my tongue is aching, and how you come up with these phantasmagorical words astounds me! You have wonderful rhyming... Outstanding! Giddy
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Hi, Giddy.
Thanks so much for the wonderful review.
Yes I think I have a strange rhyming dictionary in my brain somewhere (although I have been known to use the online version on occasions) I just get on a roll with a poem like this and I know it's working when I make myself laugh!
Steve
Comment from bob cullen
You sir, are a genius. You are also living proof that the ranking system employed his is as accurate and trustworthy as the promises of a campaigning politician.
If there are twenty-three better poets on this site than you, I am a better writer than both John Grisham and David Baldacci. And that I promise you is not the case.
Your alliteration is near perfect, your rhyme and meter are adorable and your poem is as good as anything I've ever seen on Fanstory. I'll finish this review with the words I commenced with.
You sir, are a genius
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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You sir, are a genius. You are also living proof that the ranking system employed his is as accurate and trustworthy as the promises of a campaigning politician.
If there are twenty-three better poets on this site than you, I am a better writer than both John Grisham and David Baldacci. And that I promise you is not the case.
Your alliteration is near perfect, your rhyme and meter are adorable and your poem is as good as anything I've ever seen on Fanstory. I'll finish this review with the words I commenced with.
You sir, are a genius
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Settle down, Bob, I still want my hat to fit tomorrow.
If my rating has suddenly surged to 24 it must be on the strength of some great reviews for this - last time I looked I was sitting comfortably in the 30s - Yes, the rating system is far from perfect depending so much on quantity over quality. I'm lucky to post once a week so I will never contend wit thos who post ten times as much.
Seriously, thanks a million for the enthusiastic review - words such as yours from people I know I can trust mean more than ratings.
Steve
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Steve
Just on my fourth story in this contest and WOW - am I impressed. I want to be a child again and read all these wonderful stories. Oh yeah - I still can - as an adult! lol It will be difficult for voters, especially with brussell sprouts in the mix. :))
You excel here with a face paced exciting and entertaining read. Super title and a load of poetic technique with alliteration, assonance and consonance and fast flowing enjambment, a few tongue-twisters to keep readers on-the-ball, your talented imagination enthrals us once again. I love the glorious rhyme scattered ... everywhere :))), the humour and your perfect sense of meter. A fantastic contest and so well supported with so many formidable talented poets. I wish you the best of luck. This is on the top contenders list for sure. Well done ... I love a children's poem or story that can be enjoyed by adults. Hugs - Lovi xoxo I'm so sorry I thought I had a sixer left ... will have to be virtual I'm afraid. xoxo
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Hi Steve
Just on my fourth story in this contest and WOW - am I impressed. I want to be a child again and read all these wonderful stories. Oh yeah - I still can - as an adult! lol It will be difficult for voters, especially with brussell sprouts in the mix. :))
You excel here with a face paced exciting and entertaining read. Super title and a load of poetic technique with alliteration, assonance and consonance and fast flowing enjambment, a few tongue-twisters to keep readers on-the-ball, your talented imagination enthrals us once again. I love the glorious rhyme scattered ... everywhere :))), the humour and your perfect sense of meter. A fantastic contest and so well supported with so many formidable talented poets. I wish you the best of luck. This is on the top contenders list for sure. Well done ... I love a children's poem or story that can be enjoyed by adults. Hugs - Lovi xoxo I'm so sorry I thought I had a sixer left ... will have to be virtual I'm afraid. xoxo
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Lovi, thanks so much for the great review and the virtual sixer - I've given all mine away too, this week.
I missed this contest when it was first announced and only spotted it yesterday morning when there were already fifteen entries - I could see who and what I was up against so thought I'd better give it my best shot! Yes, ray's poem is a beauty - I wonder if he had it written before he created the contest?? :O)
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
If I had and could id give more than 6. Excellently done.
Meter and flow is excellent.
Rhyme and rhythm is perfect.
Found no flaws and was totally entertained. A wonderful count to each line and I wish you luck.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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If I had and could id give more than 6. Excellently done.
Meter and flow is excellent.
Rhyme and rhythm is perfect.
Found no flaws and was totally entertained. A wonderful count to each line and I wish you luck.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2015
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Barb, thanks so much for the great review and the six shiny stars - much appreciated.
Steve