2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Haiku (delicate pink leaf)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
42 total reviews
Comment from sibhus
What vibrant descriptions with this few simple words. And the paint such a full picture all with their beautiful simplicity. a wonderful piece that makes for a great addition to the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
  |
What vibrant descriptions with this few simple words. And the paint such a full picture all with their beautiful simplicity. a wonderful piece that makes for a great addition to the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you sibhus :)
Comment from samsaysagain
Excellent. A very attractive haiku which falls within the parameter's of contest rules. Color combination creates a warm feeling. Nice.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
Excellent. A very attractive haiku which falls within the parameter's of contest rules. Color combination creates a warm feeling. Nice.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Sam :)
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This haiku has great concrete imagery, with sensory references to the senses of sight and smell. The contrast between the delicacy of the floating leaf and the torrential river is striking and dramatic. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
This haiku has great concrete imagery, with sensory references to the senses of sight and smell. The contrast between the delicacy of the floating leaf and the torrential river is striking and dramatic. Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Jeanie :)
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Good creation in this work, in words and matching colour with the theme of your poem. I love your kigo, it blended the work well.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
|
Good creation in this work, in words and matching colour with the theme of your poem. I love your kigo, it blended the work well.
ola thomas
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Ola
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nicely done, "G", and you've seemed to comply with the vast myriad of ungodly amounts of rules this contest calls for.
You have two grammatically interconnected lines, your satori infers a seasonal reference, however, the personification with the usage of the word "you're" might be a problem for some.
Still, I enjoyed this.
Good luck to you!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
Nicely done, "G", and you've seemed to comply with the vast myriad of ungodly amounts of rules this contest calls for.
You have two grammatically interconnected lines, your satori infers a seasonal reference, however, the personification with the usage of the word "you're" might be a problem for some.
Still, I enjoyed this.
Good luck to you!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Handsome. I was thinking of the little leaf floating down the river touching here and there, like in tag-you-are it! game. I'll have to think about that one. Thank you Dean.
-
Anytime, "G". I'd know your writing from a mile away, heh-heh...;)
-
Yeah, I get it... I know yours from a mile away too :)
-
:)
-
:)
-
:)
Comment from Amy Greta
This is really an excellent nature haiku, and no picture is needed to be able to visualize the delicate pink leaf floating down the wild river. It's such a great contrast between the fragile leaf and the raging waters. I'm imagining this is spring time due to the pink and the river formed from melted snow.
Beautiful, and clever ending.
Amy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
This is really an excellent nature haiku, and no picture is needed to be able to visualize the delicate pink leaf floating down the wild river. It's such a great contrast between the fragile leaf and the raging waters. I'm imagining this is spring time due to the pink and the river formed from melted snow.
Beautiful, and clever ending.
Amy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Amy, you got it right :)
Comment from Unspoken94
These always cause for remembrance. When I was a kid we would "dare" each other to wade out into the raging creek, filled with melting snow and ice, to grab something and return it. "Tag, you're it." It was a game we should not have played, although no one get seriously hurt. But there were some scary moments. This is what this piece brings to mind. And, I'm sure it had nothing to do with your thoughts in writing it!
All the best in the contest. You really nailed it for me. -bill
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
These always cause for remembrance. When I was a kid we would "dare" each other to wade out into the raging creek, filled with melting snow and ice, to grab something and return it. "Tag, you're it." It was a game we should not have played, although no one get seriously hurt. But there were some scary moments. This is what this piece brings to mind. And, I'm sure it had nothing to do with your thoughts in writing it!
All the best in the contest. You really nailed it for me. -bill
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Bill :)
Comment from country ranch writer
nice presentation on this peace with just the amount of flow to it, leaf, river and going slowly down the river playing tag so to speak. good work
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
nice presentation on this peace with just the amount of flow to it, leaf, river and going slowly down the river playing tag so to speak. good work
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you CRW :)
-
S M I L E
Comment from poetadeu
You have followed the directions on writing
a perfect haiku...Congratulations on the feat.
Mastering this particular write takes consentration.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
You have followed the directions on writing
a perfect haiku...Congratulations on the feat.
Mastering this particular write takes consentration.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you poetadeu :)
-
:}
-
:}
Comment from AnnieDawn
Well done. You made your contest with 16 syllables and did a great job. Your color scheme fits well with your poem and is as delicate as the leaf. I wish you well in your contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
|
Well done. You made your contest with 16 syllables and did a great job. Your color scheme fits well with your poem and is as delicate as the leaf. I wish you well in your contest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Annie :)