haiku (three herons wait)
Lakeside buffet39 total reviews
Comment from Angel Lights
I enjoyed the idea of herons waiting for lunch with patience in a lunch line.
Your herons have better manners than a line of kids at the school cafeteria.
Of course, nature themes are wonderful fodder for haiku.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
I enjoyed the idea of herons waiting for lunch with patience in a lunch line.
Your herons have better manners than a line of kids at the school cafeteria.
Of course, nature themes are wonderful fodder for haiku.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Angel Lights, for this review for my haiku. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Since a 4-star rating implies the poem "needs improvement", I would love to receive your feedback in how to make the haiku better.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from Gabriela D. Martin
Lol. This poem made me smile, without actually seeing a picture of the majestic long-legged birds. Although it could complement your work... And help those younger readers (and not only) to imagine/see a "heron." Not a common bird, is it?
I like the imagery you used... And the funny idea of these hungry birds waiting patiently in a lunch line to get to their fish.
Clever and funny and so rich in meaning, in 3 short lines.
Well done.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
Lol. This poem made me smile, without actually seeing a picture of the majestic long-legged birds. Although it could complement your work... And help those younger readers (and not only) to imagine/see a "heron." Not a common bird, is it?
I like the imagery you used... And the funny idea of these hungry birds waiting patiently in a lunch line to get to their fish.
Clever and funny and so rich in meaning, in 3 short lines.
Well done.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Gabriela, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. Yes, I would have loved to use a sketching I had of three herons, but as I stated in the author's notes, the site wouldn't allow me to upload it.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from Taffspride
a good entry for the contest. one that conjures up great images in my mind.
I have been lucky enough to get some good photos of the heron as he patiently waits at the shore line.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
a good entry for the contest. one that conjures up great images in my mind.
I have been lucky enough to get some good photos of the heron as he patiently waits at the shore line.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Ann, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm pleased you enjoyed the imagery of the herons.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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you are welcome.
:)
Comment from heyjude
IndianaIrish, I can just picture this by just your words even
without any artwork to go with it. I like the part about the
herons wait .... lunch line. Good luck in the haiku contest.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
IndianaIrish, I can just picture this by just your words even
without any artwork to go with it. I like the part about the
herons wait .... lunch line. Good luck in the haiku contest.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, heyjude, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
Comment from tfawcus
There is something in the stillness and beauty of herons that makes the heart soar. Three of them together - now that would be a sight! I can just imagine the tension of watching and waiting for that sudden lightning strike, the doom of fish or frog.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
There is something in the stillness and beauty of herons that makes the heart soar. Three of them together - now that would be a sight! I can just imagine the tension of watching and waiting for that sudden lightning strike, the doom of fish or frog.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Tony, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm pleased you enjoyed the poem.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from create4christ
Your description of the heron is great. I wish you good luck in your haiku contest entry. Your structure is well done, also, since 5-7-5 is not required for this contest.
Well done. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
Your description of the heron is great. I wish you good luck in your haiku contest entry. Your structure is well done, also, since 5-7-5 is not required for this contest.
Well done. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Create4christ, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
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You're welcome.
Comment from robyn corum
I kinda like the image I'm getting in my own mind for this haiku, Karyn. For some reason, I'm picturing a hospital cafeteria and the nurses in their scrubs waiting with their trays for the food to be set out. "ho hum. anytime now."
Love it! No offense to your pretty nature scene! hahahaha
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
I kinda like the image I'm getting in my own mind for this haiku, Karyn. For some reason, I'm picturing a hospital cafeteria and the nurses in their scrubs waiting with their trays for the food to be set out. "ho hum. anytime now."
Love it! No offense to your pretty nature scene! hahahaha
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Robyn, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts, and loved your hospital cafeteria image.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from krys123
Hello Karyn;
-First of all I'm glad to see you're back to join this contest and I wish you all the luck for I really enjoyed your haiku and thought it was very catching and compellingly well-written.
-However I did not see any picture? I guess, that's just as well because haiku shirt and use pictures because I should express and explain the visual aspect in the mind.
-The first two lines of grammatically interconnected and show an imagery that is distinctly clear and definitively expressive and vividly descriptive.
-Your satori is your writing that special aha moment and specifically shows a spontaneous excitement and summarizes the relativity of the conceptual being very well.
-Again, good luck in the contest and make a good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
Hello Karyn;
-First of all I'm glad to see you're back to join this contest and I wish you all the luck for I really enjoyed your haiku and thought it was very catching and compellingly well-written.
-However I did not see any picture? I guess, that's just as well because haiku shirt and use pictures because I should express and explain the visual aspect in the mind.
-The first two lines of grammatically interconnected and show an imagery that is distinctly clear and definitively expressive and vividly descriptive.
-Your satori is your writing that special aha moment and specifically shows a spontaneous excitement and summarizes the relativity of the conceptual being very well.
-Again, good luck in the contest and make a good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Alex, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed the imagery of the poem, and Thanks for your good luck wish for the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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you are so very welcome Karyn.
Alex
Comment from Dr. Nad
haiku (three herons wait) Is a good contest entry. Best of luck with it. I'm glad that your notes told us that you had a picture to add, because you enabled me to see that picture in my mind's eye. Your haiku provided an excellent mental picture three herons waiting for their buffet! Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
haiku (three herons wait) Is a good contest entry. Best of luck with it. I'm glad that your notes told us that you had a picture to add, because you enabled me to see that picture in my mind's eye. Your haiku provided an excellent mental picture three herons waiting for their buffet! Thanks for sharing. May God bless you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-May-2016
reply by the author on 29-May-2016
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Thank you, Dr. Nad, for this kind review for my haiku. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm pleased you enjoyed the imagery in the poem.
Smiles,
Indy :-)
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You are most welcome.
Embrace the love from above!