Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Chapter 2 - Airborne Ferrari"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
36 total reviews
Comment from light
I missed the first chapter, but you have me hooked on this intriguing political story. At least he has managed to get out of the car. Look forward to the next chapter.
Elaine
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
  |
I missed the first chapter, but you have me hooked on this intriguing political story. At least he has managed to get out of the car. Look forward to the next chapter.
Elaine
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Indeed he has gotten out, but the story is just getting started. As always, we put our characters through a lot of suffering! lol,
Thanks for the review,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. this looks to be an extremely interesting story in progress. I will watch for more and follow this novel. I didn't spot any errors. Good work.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
|
Excellent. this looks to be an extremely interesting story in progress. I will watch for more and follow this novel. I didn't spot any errors. Good work.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I hope you are able to follow it further.
Have a great rest of the week,
Rhonda
Comment from Dustybones
Hello Rhonda,
Chapter two- Archie was lucky surviving eight roll overs. Now you've set the stage for him to meet these other people. Being upside down isn't good for a head injury.
I like reading his thoughtsasking the chipmunk to get help. Can't wait to read more.
Boyd
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
|
Hello Rhonda,
Chapter two- Archie was lucky surviving eight roll overs. Now you've set the stage for him to meet these other people. Being upside down isn't good for a head injury.
I like reading his thoughtsasking the chipmunk to get help. Can't wait to read more.
Boyd
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
I'm about to clean up the details on that roll over and make it less disastrous, because, you're right, it's a little past believable.
Thanks for the review,
Rhonda
Comment from Theresia Riggs
Unfettered, Archie pulled himself out of the window and onto gritty soil. He tried to stand, but found his body too stiff and sore to cooperate. He dropped back to the ground and stretched his arms and legs until he felt ( his) or (their) strength return. Then, Archie rolled onto his knees and sat up. He paused a moment to let his swirling head steady itself.
A small suggestion...maybe tighten the sentence somewhat...
Unfettered, Archie pulled himself out of the window and onto gritty soil. Too weak and light-headed to stand, he collapsed onto the ground, until his strength returned.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
|
Unfettered, Archie pulled himself out of the window and onto gritty soil. He tried to stand, but found his body too stiff and sore to cooperate. He dropped back to the ground and stretched his arms and legs until he felt ( his) or (their) strength return. Then, Archie rolled onto his knees and sat up. He paused a moment to let his swirling head steady itself.
A small suggestion...maybe tighten the sentence somewhat...
Unfettered, Archie pulled himself out of the window and onto gritty soil. Too weak and light-headed to stand, he collapsed onto the ground, until his strength returned.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thank you for your wonderful advice, Theresia. I'm about to make some changes, and on that passage in particular.
Take care.
Rhonda
Comment from papa55mike
Great build up chapter leaving many questions to be answered. I love the style and can't wait for the southern dialog. Awesome job. I wish I had a six for you.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
|
Great build up chapter leaving many questions to be answered. I love the style and can't wait for the southern dialog. Awesome job. I wish I had a six for you.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Ok you went and did it, I'm hooked.
Interresting and I can't wait now to see where you are taking this, but I am glad I am in at the beginning now
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Ok you went and did it, I'm hooked.
Interresting and I can't wait now to see where you are taking this, but I am glad I am in at the beginning now
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016