Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Threads of Life"Musings of an old man -2020
42 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
It's not easy to write about your life, but what is life? This is part of life :"We wrestled with careers, mortgages, and diapers not dry,
watching, hearing, surviving the terrible two's question's why,
as the teenager's woes begin to churn and make them and us cry.
Until they soon leave our nests and begin to solo, fly." but also this scene in which we get born and we return after a while :"Out of the primordial cosmos we are
steeped and grown in mother's womb
released into peoples arms held close
with innocence, then instantly bloom."
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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It's not easy to write about your life, but what is life? This is part of life :"We wrestled with careers, mortgages, and diapers not dry,
watching, hearing, surviving the terrible two's question's why,
as the teenager's woes begin to churn and make them and us cry.
Until they soon leave our nests and begin to solo, fly." but also this scene in which we get born and we return after a while :"Out of the primordial cosmos we are
steeped and grown in mother's womb
released into peoples arms held close
with innocence, then instantly bloom."
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Iza, thank you for the validation.
Comment from June Sargent
You have summed up perfectly in your poem the journey we take from womb to grave. And along the way the highlights of what makes our journey unique and memorable. A very well crafted story in a poem.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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You have summed up perfectly in your poem the journey we take from womb to grave. And along the way the highlights of what makes our journey unique and memorable. A very well crafted story in a poem.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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June I am so appreciative of your six-star validation!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It seems hard to believe how quickly the years fly by and how much we do during this time and I wonder where the years go at times, you have fitted a whole lifetime into your poem here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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It seems hard to believe how quickly the years fly by and how much we do during this time and I wonder where the years go at times, you have fitted a whole lifetime into your poem here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Dolly, thanks!
Comment from Barbaraj1
This is a very good poem about your philosophy of life. We are born then the years' pass, next is college and marriage. Then you have children
and watch them grow. They have children and the cycle begins over.
this is a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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This is a very good poem about your philosophy of life. We are born then the years' pass, next is college and marriage. Then you have children
and watch them grow. They have children and the cycle begins over.
this is a good contest entry.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Barbara, thanks!
Comment from Blue Hendrix
What vivid imagery you have and it flows so easily. I really enjoyed reading this piece I thought you did a great job for the This is my life contest. I'm sure you will do great. Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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What vivid imagery you have and it flows so easily. I really enjoyed reading this piece I thought you did a great job for the This is my life contest. I'm sure you will do great. Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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thanks!
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, the theme is real and tangible, expressed pensively in spots, heartily in others. I recommend reading the poem aloud for a smoother rhyming rhythm, although the work does comply with the prompt, regarding premise.
For example, with your permission, one such spot to which I refer occurs in the 2nd stanza, 3rd and 4th lines:
"toddling upward, moving closer to the sky,
As more years come, more go by."...
etc. - reading aloud will locate the others...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
 |
In my opinion, the theme is real and tangible, expressed pensively in spots, heartily in others. I recommend reading the poem aloud for a smoother rhyming rhythm, although the work does comply with the prompt, regarding premise.
For example, with your permission, one such spot to which I refer occurs in the 2nd stanza, 3rd and 4th lines:
"toddling upward, moving closer to the sky,
As more years come, more go by."...
etc. - reading aloud will locate the others...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Eve okay I will
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Again, best wishes in the contest...Eve
Comment from royowen
Well done, I know that life is almost walked "by accident". But I believe there is a purpose and a blueprint, that we are unable to see while natural eyes gazes on outcomes and consequently, but as if someone knows from the outset. And records it. Beautifully written, in its own style, with varied rhyme and punctuation, life can be a puzzle unless someone has a glimpse of faith and purpose. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : Released into people(')s arms(,) held close(,)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Well done, I know that life is almost walked "by accident". But I believe there is a purpose and a blueprint, that we are unable to see while natural eyes gazes on outcomes and consequently, but as if someone knows from the outset. And records it. Beautifully written, in its own style, with varied rhyme and punctuation, life can be a puzzle unless someone has a glimpse of faith and purpose. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : Released into people(')s arms(,) held close(,)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Roy, thanks so much for the edits I missed.
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Well done
Comment from Therese Caron
Excellent story of life from start to finish. This is so eloquently written, wonderful rhyme scheme, great word flow. This is a very professionally written poem, telling a good story at the same time. Good luck in the contest - I have a feeling you will do well.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Excellent story of life from start to finish. This is so eloquently written, wonderful rhyme scheme, great word flow. This is a very professionally written poem, telling a good story at the same time. Good luck in the contest - I have a feeling you will do well.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from Patty Palmer
Starting in the beginning we raise our kids. The bigger they become, the bigger the guiding eye they need. Finally, they are old enough to be on their own. Watching our kids raising our grandchildren, I just shake my head and cringe because it's a whole new ballgame these days.
I enjoyed your poem!
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Starting in the beginning we raise our kids. The bigger they become, the bigger the guiding eye they need. Finally, they are old enough to be on their own. Watching our kids raising our grandchildren, I just shake my head and cringe because it's a whole new ballgame these days.
I enjoyed your poem!
Patty
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Patty, thank you.
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You're welcome!
Patty
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about s normal life cycle that goes quite smoothly. When our lives are best its end we look at our children and grand children and hope they will not make the same mistakes than we did
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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A very well-written poem about s normal life cycle that goes quite smoothly. When our lives are best its end we look at our children and grand children and hope they will not make the same mistakes than we did
Comment Written 20-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2020
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Sandra, thank you!