Comment from Moon baby

Exceptional

Now, first of all, I liked the subject of your story! I too am at the age where beauty fades and changes seem to take place too fast! That those before me who I wished to be more like are now a lost memory. I am the wrong person to suggest your writing needs any help! To me, your style is graceful and your ability to write a short story that tells a whole story is a talent in itself!

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020

Thank you for reading my work.

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

This is a wonderful, easy to understand, with something to say, True Story Flash contest entry. People do grow old. It should do well. Good luck!

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020

Thank you for reading and commenting in my work here.

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 02-Jun-2020

You're welcome.

Comment from CandySoda777

Needs Improvement

Your descriptions were good, but I'm confused. There is no story to it. Why did she change so much? What happened? This has the chance of becoming a great story, if you write the right thing. Is there some kind of hidden meaning I'm missing?

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 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020

Thank you for reading my work and for your comments.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

This is beautiful. Feels more like a poem than a story. Effective use of metaphor--compass, symphony. The poignant endin that might described many old women. Try to talk to them and it does seem as if they have lost soul.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020

Thank you, Spitfire, for reading so well into my story.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your contest entry. Your words are well-chosen and create great imagery. There is good flow as time passes, too. I'm not sure about 'floated at her (compass--what does it mean here?).

Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan


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 Comment Written 01-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020

Thank you for reading my work. Floating at her compass, I tried to write about that there was "an air" of grace and mystery at her passing, walking. Like a Greta Garbo lady...Does this make sense?

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 02-Jun-2020

I understand the idea of grace etc. I am still confused over the use of compass. ( I see it as--like floating on air).