Building Trust
Shared happiness can build trust39 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
I had some challenges with the flow of the piece, there were also some times like with the then/friend rhyme where you added the word to be able to stretch into the rhyme and it doesn't really fit the line in my opinion. I still liked the content of the piece. Good work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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I had some challenges with the flow of the piece, there were also some times like with the then/friend rhyme where you added the word to be able to stretch into the rhyme and it doesn't really fit the line in my opinion. I still liked the content of the piece. Good work and thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2020
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Yes, I admit the flow of the piece is not a strong point. I was mainly telling a story and trying to be true to the experience, but thank you for pointing these flaws out. I will try to do better next time I write. I appreciate your honesty and forthrightness. I am especially grateful for the excellent rating with the honest critique. Thank you. Have a good day.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from mermaids
The beauty of poetry is, we can keep our memories alive by writing about them. Excellent free verse form that shows a shared moment of happiness and reminds the reader it is the shared experiences in life that matter.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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The beauty of poetry is, we can keep our memories alive by writing about them. Excellent free verse form that shows a shared moment of happiness and reminds the reader it is the shared experiences in life that matter.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Yes! You've put it very well! I also like that I can keep the memory alive by writing and sharing it with others. Sharing does matter significantly in our lives. Thank you for the insightful review, and for an excellent rating.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Susan X Smith
This is a happy story within a poem. It concerns meeting someone that you know you can trust and looking forward to the ongoing friendship. the tone is hopeful and optimistic, a nice change.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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This is a happy story within a poem. It concerns meeting someone that you know you can trust and looking forward to the ongoing friendship. the tone is hopeful and optimistic, a nice change.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thank you for your thoughtful review, Susan. I am glad you like the tone of the poem, and that it is a nice change. I agree...it is a nice change. I appreciate your excellent review and rating.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Carlos' girl
Sounds like a great and memorable experience. It's nice to memorialize it with a poem. I like the poem, the image too. To develop trust and find a friend gives us joy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Sounds like a great and memorable experience. It's nice to memorialize it with a poem. I like the poem, the image too. To develop trust and find a friend gives us joy
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Yes, it does give us joy. It is also risky, but I'm willing now to take the risk. I also like to memorialize important stages in my life with a poem. Thank you for your kind words, and for the excellent rating.
Have a good rest of your week.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Raul1
I like the last line of the poem. It is very poetic. I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. Well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like it. Nice job. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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I like the last line of the poem. It is very poetic. I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. Well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like it. Nice job. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Raul, for choosing your favorite line. I am glad you enjoyed my poem, and found no grammatical errors. I appreciate your kindness, and for an excellent rating.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Becky Kern-Taylor
Very lovely poem. Yes finding a new friend, especially of the opposite sex is rewarding. My husband died young and I was single for 16 years then I found a friend, became a love, and then we married. Have our 25th anniversary coming up. All happiness.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Very lovely poem. Yes finding a new friend, especially of the opposite sex is rewarding. My husband died young and I was single for 16 years then I found a friend, became a love, and then we married. Have our 25th anniversary coming up. All happiness.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thank you for your helpful and hopeful review, Becky. Thank you also, for sharing your story. I'm glad it turned out well. I appreciate your kind comments, and for an excellent rating.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from MissMerri
This is a wonderfully sincere expression of a joyous experience and I loved every word. I love your openness Jesse, as well as your understanding of human nature and of yourself. I think you need trust as a part of friendship and shared experiences are a vital part of forming trust. Great illustration you selected for this enchanting poem. MM
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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This is a wonderfully sincere expression of a joyous experience and I loved every word. I love your openness Jesse, as well as your understanding of human nature and of yourself. I think you need trust as a part of friendship and shared experiences are a vital part of forming trust. Great illustration you selected for this enchanting poem. MM
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much, Miss Merri, for the exceptional review and rating. I love your candid comments, and your interest in trust and friendship. I am grateful for your very kind words of encouragement. I am glad you liked my choice for the photo. I felt the happy dolphins represented trust, in each other, and in nature too. Have a happy week.
Take care and stay well,
Jesse
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Writing about ones feelings always helps to get certain things clear. Writing needs transforming thoughts into words. They no longer can escape, you have made it more concrete. And in your case, more possible, reachable. You are right: laughing together, seeing things together and talk about it, finding the meeting points makes you both happy. From there on, it might grow to more and trust is a great startingpoint.
Good poem, Jesse!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Writing about ones feelings always helps to get certain things clear. Writing needs transforming thoughts into words. They no longer can escape, you have made it more concrete. And in your case, more possible, reachable. You are right: laughing together, seeing things together and talk about it, finding the meeting points makes you both happy. From there on, it might grow to more and trust is a great startingpoint.
Good poem, Jesse!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Thank you for your sincere review, Marjon. I like especially, the phrase, 'more possible, reachable.' I hope you are right. I'm putting my toes in the seawater and hoping for the best. I appreciate your insightful and kind review and excellent rating.
Take care,
Jesse
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You are very welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
Good to see you back, Jesse! And happy to read you poem about connecting with someone because of that bond of common understanding! It's a beautiful thing needed among humans!
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reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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Good to see you back, Jesse! And happy to read you poem about connecting with someone because of that bond of common understanding! It's a beautiful thing needed among humans!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
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It's good to be back! Thank you for this welcome understanding of the message I tried to convey. It's hard for me to trust, and I am just beginning to be open to the idea. It's a freeing feeling!
I appreciate your kind review and excellent rating.
Take care and stay well,
Jesse