Patrick McKee Phone Call to God
Patrick is trying to get into heaven.48 total reviews
Comment from J. Dennis
Well it looks like this poor chap will just have to be waiting for a long time. And I do think that there might be a line of people to join him.
Your poem does tickle the funny bone. Pat gives the commandments a funny twist.
The rhythm is good. Rhyming is right on. And the ending is just dessert for Pat. (Too bad...so sad!)
Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice rest of the year.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Well it looks like this poor chap will just have to be waiting for a long time. And I do think that there might be a line of people to join him.
Your poem does tickle the funny bone. Pat gives the commandments a funny twist.
The rhythm is good. Rhyming is right on. And the ending is just dessert for Pat. (Too bad...so sad!)
Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice rest of the year.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thanks for the review. Pat did more than twist the commandments.
Comment from Eunice Amero
God told Mr. McKee. No room what's left hell. This is one of the best poems I have ever read.. I love it. I even went and read it again. I think you did a swell job with this and if you don't win there is something wrong. I wished I would had written it. You can sure handle a poem. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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God told Mr. McKee. No room what's left hell. This is one of the best poems I have ever read.. I love it. I even went and read it again. I think you did a swell job with this and if you don't win there is something wrong. I wished I would had written it. You can sure handle a poem. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thank you Eunice. You'll see Patrick again.
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wow again the way you write. That will be fun. You are more than welcome.
Comment from LisaMay
What a terribly salacious and fraudulent life that Patrick McKee has led! I hope your own field research as a poet did not see you recreating his crimes of immorality, although your poem has a sniff of authenticity about it. They do say to write what you know. Tsk, tsk. Still, it has provided the reader with various gasps of deviant fun and enjoyment of your poetic ability.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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What a terribly salacious and fraudulent life that Patrick McKee has led! I hope your own field research as a poet did not see you recreating his crimes of immorality, although your poem has a sniff of authenticity about it. They do say to write what you know. Tsk, tsk. Still, it has provided the reader with various gasps of deviant fun and enjoyment of your poetic ability.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Lisa. What, me recreate Patrick's crimes and immorality? Never. Well, almost never.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a straightforward poem, but it is indeed humorous. Irreverent certainly, but humorous, nevertheless. The line that especially made me smile was:
I can't stand those million times you took My name in vain.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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This is a straightforward poem, but it is indeed humorous. Irreverent certainly, but humorous, nevertheless. The line that especially made me smile was:
I can't stand those million times you took My name in vain.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Katherine. When I was passing by the waiting line the other day, I saw Pat, and he said a million was stretching it a bit.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I am Paul beginning to love your wicked sense of humor as well as your talent for storytelling and rhyme.
I love how you went through Pat's life and sinful life.
Absolutely brilliant.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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I am Paul beginning to love your wicked sense of humor as well as your talent for storytelling and rhyme.
I love how you went through Pat's life and sinful life.
Absolutely brilliant.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Mary. Believe it or not, I left out four verses of other things that Pat did.
Comment from pookietoo
Great poem. Great rhyming job. I enjoy reading your poems. Enjoy the little things. Keep smiling, and others will too. Best wishes. You are loved. :) :)
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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Great poem. Great rhyming job. I enjoy reading your poems. Enjoy the little things. Keep smiling, and others will too. Best wishes. You are loved. :) :)
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Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Pookie. There's even more Patrick McKee ahead.
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Great.
Comment from amahra
Hahahahahaha! I've got so many favorite lines if I wrote them down I would have written half of your poem. But I have to mention two:
That she's been sleeping with your brother for about three years,
And they are bound for Vegas when your life insurance clears. LOL!
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Hahahahahaha! I've got so many favorite lines if I wrote them down I would have written half of your poem. But I have to mention two:
That she's been sleeping with your brother for about three years,
And they are bound for Vegas when your life insurance clears. LOL!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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Thanks for the review. I think Patrick is in trouble.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a clever well written and rhymed write with perfect meter and I loves the sentiment here, a fine story filled with twists and turns of a life that was not lived well! You made me smile Paul, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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This is a clever well written and rhymed write with perfect meter and I loves the sentiment here, a fine story filled with twists and turns of a life that was not lived well! You made me smile Paul, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
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That was quick. Thanks.
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You are most welcome, your poem deserves six stars, but I am out! Love Dolly x